Cheers to #LifeAt50 and GRAND Social No. 72

Welcome to a new week!

I'm excited about this week as I have a super agenda lined up: I head to Atlanta on Wednesday to attend the Life@50+ National Event and Expo as a guest of AARP Member Advantages. I'm so honored to have been chosen to attend the Expo along with some top-notch bloggers I've admired from afar and will now get to connect with in person.

The Life@50+ Expo schedule is jam-packed with wide-ranging educational and entertaining offerings. Sessions focus on making the most of life's second — and third and fourth — act we boomers and beyond are in, sessions such as Get Packing! Experience the Travel Effect; Life Lessons on Faith, Forgiveness and Grace; The Secrets of Extremely Happy Couples; Balancing Work and Caregiving; and many, many more.

Also on the schedule — which delights a movie fan such as myself — are several Movies For Grownups offerings. One I definitely plan to see while at the Expo is Middleton starring Andy Garcia and Vera Farmiga. Take a look:

 

What's especially cool about getting to see the movie at the Expo is that Andy Garcia will be at the showing — in person. I just might be brave enough to ask for an autograph, maybe even a photo with the star. C'mon... it could happen, right?

Andy Garcia isn't the only celebrity I'll have a chance to meet, though, as the other dozen or so bloggers in the AARP Member Advantages group and I are scheduled for an exclusive meet-and-greet with Dan Marino, James "JB" Brown and Pepper Schwartz. Plus, Whoopie Goldberg and Tyler Perry kick-off the event,  while others leading or participating in Expo sessions include Jane Pauley, Diana Nyad, Samantha Brown, Martina Navratilova and many others. I'm fairly confident I won't get up close and personal with those beyond the meet-and-greet — unless, that is, they participate alongside me in the Community Day of Service Thursday morning. One can hope, right?

If you'll be at the Life@50+ Expo, let me know — I'd love to meet you there. And be sure to follow Grandma's Briefs on Facebook and Twitter as I'll post updates and photos now and then while in Atlanta.

Cheers to #LifeAt50 (the official hashtag of the Expo).

And cheers, too, to GRAND Social No. 72. Thank you joining me!

link party

How it works:

  • All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, just be a grandparent who blogs.
  • To link up a post, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue button marked with "Add your link" below and follow the directions.
  • You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.
  • Adding a mention such as This post linked to the GRAND Social to your linked posts is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

Grandma’sBriefs.com

<a rel="nofollow" href="/" target="blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

 

  • The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

  • If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — other bloggers as well as readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

This week's lessons: My grandson may be crazy and be careful where you step

My phone rang early yesterday morning, the caller ID (and ringtone) alerting me it was Megan. As it was just after 7 a.m. and considering time zones it was even earlier at Megan's place, her early call placed it firmly in the "uh-oh" category of calls that freeze a mother's heart.

I quickly answered with a questioning "Hi...?"

Megan's immediate and breathless response: "We just had the scariest thing happen, Mom."

I knew Preston was out of town, so the we had to mean Megan and my grandsons. Which elicited another early morning heart freeze on my end.

Megan proceeded to tell me about a tarantula. In their house. Right next to my daughter. Right next to my grandsons.

tarantulaNot the one at Megan's -- This one from Pixabay.comThe condensed story: As Megan and the boys were preparing for their day, Megan noticed a praying mantis on their screen door to the back yard. She and the boys gathered around to admire the little green guy on the outside of the screen... when Bubby soon noticed a big, furry guy — said tarantula — on the inside of the screen door.

Freakouts ensued and the glass door was immediately slammed shut. Which trapped the tarantula between the glass door and screen door. So Megan — having to play the part of big, bad, brave parent despite shaking like mad, she said — went out her bedroom sliding door to the patio, rushed over to the door with the trapped tarantula, and flung the screen door open in hopes the tarantula would skitter away.

It didn't.

But... Megan had to get to work (and call her mom), Bubby had to get to class, and Mac had to get to the sitter, so the tarantula was left to stay or go, whatever its choice may be. (Later in the evening, Megan texted evidence that the tarantula's choice had been to stay in the door frame, even hours and hours later.)

No biggie, Megan tried to assure me when I pointed out that, sure, the tarantula may not be in the house anymore, but it clearly now resides in their backyard.

"We live in the desert, Mom. There are tarantulas."

Megan went on to tell me that tarantulas are actually a good thing to have around the house as they eat scorpions — a more common critter in their house, despite monthly sprayings from the bug guy.

In the background, I heard Bubby, who had been listening to our conversation, utter a relieved, "Thank you for that." As in, Shew! Thank you for letting me know there is something bigger and badder than those freakin' scorpions. All tarantulas welcome here! Thank you!

Which, of course, made me think the kid is crazy.

Megan had to get on with her day, as did I, so we chuckled at Bubby's relief at the presence of tarantulas we said our goodbyes.

A bit later, as I walked my dogs, I considered the sheer insanity of life in the desert. Scorpions. Tarantulas. Heat. Javelinas. Why oh why does my daughter continue to live there, raise my grandchildren there?

Just as I finished that thought, I noticed Mickey and Lyla had stepped over an odd-looking rope in the road. I halted them with a tug on their leashes so I could take a closer look at the rope.

Only it wasn't a rope.

It was this:

baby snake 

Startled me a bit, I do admit. But my first instinct wasn't to run, it was to grab my camera (well, iPhone as I didn't have my DSLR along). I was intrigued by the little guy, not afraid. Of course, despite how big it may look in this photo, this baby snake was only as big around as my pinkie.

Which is nothing compared to a tarantula. Which once again affirms my choice to live in the mountains not the desert.

Yes, I'll stick with baby snakes; my crazy grandson can have his scorpion-eating tarantulas.

(Come to think of it, though, that darn tarantula better get busy munching those scorps. I thoroughly expect both sorts of critters to be done and gone by the time I get there for my visit in two weeks.)

Those are my lessons for the week. Let's just say that past lessons that I've shared here on Fridays have made my skin crawl far less. Probably yours, too.

Best wishes for a lovely, critter-free weekend!

Today's fill-in-the-blank:

This week I learned __________________.

Grandma's grand impression

As I get older, I find that I no longer care much about impressing others. That wasn't always the case.

I recall doing my best to impress as far back as my primary school years, in particular during a fateful event featuring a frog. That should have left a lasting impression upon me the folly of trying to impress others. It didn't.

Years later, my older sister reinforced the idea that impressing others matters when she, a teen at the time and me a pre-teen, introduced me to her new boyfriend. My sister and I shared a bedroom, and she positioned me on the full bed we shared with a book in my lap. "Be sure to put on your glasses before he comes in," she said. "That way he'll think you're smart."

I did look smart. He, though, turned out to be an idiot — which my sister realized only after that boyfriend became her husband then, thankfully, ex-husband.

I still wear glasses, and I still look pretty darn smart in them. I wear them strictly to see, though, not to impress. Because, like I said, impressing others matters not one whit to me. I no longer work to impress my immediate family nor my extended family, not my friends nor strangers. Not even my boss.

Okay, the last one — my boss — doesn't really count because as a freelancer, I have no boss. I do, though, have my readers. And while I do hope to entertain and enlighten you to some degree, I certainly don't try to impress you.

Nope, impressing others is no longer important to me.

Except, that is, when it comes to my grandchildren.

You grandparents likely know what I mean. What others think of us is neither here nor there, yet what our grandchildren think of us is everything. So we do our best to impress the wee ones, performing stunts of magnificent athletic/artistic/intelligence proportion that scream "Look at me! Love me! Be impressed by me!"

And sometimes those shouts and stunts fail miserably. Or they just plain scare the <cuss> out of the kids. Which is exactly what happened not too long ago when I tried to impress Bubby with Gramma's grace and agility.

Bubby had been impressing me with his newfound acrobatic skills, when I chose to reciprocate and show him my own not-so-newfound but perhaps equally impressive moves. Specifically, I wanted Bubby to see how I could still turn a mean cartwheel, despite not having performed a cartwheel in, well, a few years, give or take a decade or three.

"Stand back," I told Bubby as I raised my arms in the air and assumed cartwheel take-off position.

My obedient grandson stood back, eyes wide and mouth ajar, as Gramma lurched forward, perfectly placed on the floor one hand then the other, then lifted one fo... oh ... lifted nothing, as my feet flat-out refused to follow the perfect lead of my hands. My cartwheel attempt and I came crashing down, much to the horror of Bubby.

"You shouldn't do that, Gramma" Bubby uttered with restrained concern. "You might hurt yourself."

I was okay, though; the only thing hurt was my pride.

But... there was no stopping me and my intent to impress.

"Well, forget the cartwheel," I told Bubby. "But Gramma can definitely still perform perfect somersaults." Sheesh, who couldn't? I thought.

Let's just say my somersault attempt was only slightly less catastrophic than my cartwheel attempt — and only because it didn't require me to become semi-airborne.

Truth is, my body weighs many, many pounds more than it once did, pounds that posed quite a challenge to my neck when I placed my head firmly on the floor and set myself in slow but purposeful forward motion in typical somersault fashion. Slow being the operative word as I felt a crunch in my neck that signaled Gramma had gone a wee bit beyond awkward on this move and had rolled right on into physically dangerous territory.

Bubby grimaced while offering "Wow, Gramma" as quickly as possible so I'd dare not attempt another roll. (Little did he know there was no way in <cuss> Gramma could have proceeded into a second roll.) Fortunately he — nor Megan — ever seemed to noticed how stiff I held my head and neck for the next several days of my visit, as I truly had hurt myself, that it was more than my pride I had been pinged in that particular attempt to impress.

From such folly, I must admit I did learn one important lesson from Bubby: Quit trying so hard.

It was later during that same visit that I realized my sister had been right all those years ago: Sporting spectacles is indeed the key to making a smart impression.

If nothing else, glasses are definitely the safest way for a grandma to make an impression — at least for this sometimes-not-so-smart grandma.

Today's question:

How have you tried — and possibly failed — to impress your grandchildren or children?

Picture this: Hot air here and there

Many of you know I'm a long-distance grandma. I live in the mountains, and my grandsons live more than 800 miles away in the desert.

Yesterday I shared some of the things unique to my home in the mountains, things likely to delight my grandsons because they're things Bubby and Mac will find only at my house.

Today, though, I share something we both have, something found here at my home in the mountains as well as there in the desert.

A recent view from my back yard:

And a recent view from their back yard:

Balloons in the morning sky are a common occurance at their place and a common occurance at mine — no balloon festivals required.

Seems there's just as much hot air in the mountains as there is in the desert.

At least when it comes to balloons. (Thankfully just balloons.)

Today's question:

Have you ever ridden in a hot-air balloon or would you ever want to?

18 things my grandsons miss by not visiting their grandparents

My grandsons haven't visited my house in more than a year. It's been 15 months, to be exact, with no plans to visit in the next... well... I don't know how long. 

Though I'm thrilled to pieces that I'll get to see them soon at their house, there's plenty they miss out on by not visiting PawDad and Gramma at our house. Things found only at our place, things I'm sure they'd enjoy.

Things such as these:

Their special bedroom we call The Boys' Room, despite Bubby having slept in it only a handful of times and Mac having never slept in it — yet...

boys room
boys room

Exploring our back yard and front...

back yard
Colorado yard

Playing at the food stand again...

homemade food stand

Hunting for treasure PawDad hides in the sand by the waterfall...

treasure hunters
backyard waterfall

And swinging with Gramma in the swing made for three...

swing for three

Not to forget: the basketball hoop that's just the right height for boys to dunk balls — with a boost from PawDad...

dunk the ball

And the bouncy house Bubby and Mac have never even seen — though it delighted other pint-sized friends of Gramma's...

bounce-a-round

Plus the popcorn machine for treats once the bouncing is done...

popcorn machine

And there's Rock Dog and their Glo Worms and lions that stand guard from out front...

stuffed singing dog
Glo Worms
lion statues

Plus, they could play on Gramma's piano (I promise to share)...

old piano

And the mini desk where Bubby loves to sort through Granny's nesting frogs...

antique desk

Beyond Gramma and PawDad's house, there's fun and adventure found just out the door — like ITZ, the North Pole, Pikes Peak and more...

Pikes Peak in the fall

Most of all, though, what my grandsons miss out on more than anything are hugs and kisses and attention from their Colorado family — folks who miss Bubby and Mac to their core...

extended family

I truly and wholeheartedly understand that travel with little ones taxes Megan and Preston's body, mind and budget, too. And I do know Bubby and Mac will eventually get to visit Gramma and PawDad's house. Eventually.

I just hope it's before my grandsons reach the age that what they'll most enjoy about Gramma and PawDad's house is having a beer at our patio bar.

patio bar

Even then, though, I'd be delighted to have Bubby and Mac visit our house.

Today's question:

What did you most enjoy about visiting your grandparents' house when you were a child?

Texting truths tempered with humor, plus GRAND Social No. 71

Many of you know my thoughts on texting while driving. Bottom line: It's bad.

Beyond the potentially disastrous effects of texting while driving, though, there are other reasons texting — while driving or not — isn't so great. A recent conversation between comedian Louis C.K. and Conan O'Brien  touches on a few of those reasons, and considering that our grandchildren do (or will) use cell phones and text far more than previous generations, I thought it worth sharing with you.

In the following, Louis C.K. makes a profound point about texting, tempered with humor yet oh so true.

It's something to think about next time you see your grandchildren or children texting. Something to think about next time you or I text, since some of us are just as tethered to it as the kids.

On another front: My sister is home! She has many challenges and a tough road ahead, but being home is a great start. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers for her. You've made a difference.

And on yet another front:

Welcome to GRAND Social No. 71! Thank you joining me!

link party

How it works:

  • All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, just be a grandparent who blogs.
  • To link up a post, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue button marked with "Add your link" below and follow the directions.
  • You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.
  • Adding a mention such as This post linked to the GRAND Social to your linked posts is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

Grandma’sBriefs.com

<a rel="nofollow" href="/" target="blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

 

  • The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

  • If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — other bloggers as well as readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

Two things I wish I had learned this week

Funny how children can make it crystal clear the extent of things we parents don't know. Even adult children —perhaps even more so our adult children — shed light on the knowledge we lack.

It took the briefest of conversations with Megan this week to make it clear that I've got some learning to do, especially as it relates to two particular situations.

mourning statue

The first thing I wish I had learned this week:
Megan called me a few nights ago to, among other things, express her distress about the manner in which some folks were acting upon the death of a community member. We both agreed that it gets our panties in a bunch when people who were never close to an individual in life muddle about in various states of dithering and distress upon that person's passing, wearing their pain and sadness at the loss of the relatively distant acquaintance as if they had known the deceased dearly, thus justifying their excessive funereal attentions.

That's annoying. And it's so very wrong as it undervalues the pain of those who were intimate with the one who has passed. And it makes you want to shake such individuals for turning heartbreaking situations into being about them, Megan and I agreed. We also agreed in frustration that there needs to be an accurately descriptive word for that behavior that bothers us so.

A later search online for such a word came up with zilch — mostly because how do you search for something you don't know how to describe... which is exactly the reason you're searching?

A word or phrase for such behavior (funeral mongering? faux mourning?) is the first thing I wish I had learned this week. But I didn't.

five-year-old childIntrigued by Gramma's iPhone

The second thing I wish I had learned this week:
Though Megan's phone call to me began with what I noted above, her main reason for calling centered around the fact that Bubby has started taking things that are not his. I guess you could call it stealing. But do 5-year-old kids understand the concept of stealing when they pocket toys and trinkets from others at school and hide them under the covers in their bed? Well, I suppose when put that way, it does kind of seem like stealing.

But that's not what I wanted to learn. After Megan told the tale of Bubby's infractions and subsequent discipline, Megan and I discussed how frustrating it is to discipline a child and have the end result be that though the child may apologize for his or her actions, they show no remorse. It makes you want to shake some sense into them, we agreed. What good is an apology with no remorse?

More importantly, how do you teach remorse? How do you get a kid to truly and honestly feel bad about his bad behavior? Not ashamed, just... remorseful.

Megan asked me what I did when she and her sisters were young when I caught them stealing. To be honest, I could offer only one half memory of dealing with Brianna (I think it was her) nabbing a package of gum once when we were grocery shopping. I made her hand it to the cashier and apologize for taking it. And I kind of, sort of, halfway recall her showing remorse for her bone-headed bungled attempt at thievery.

I racked my brain trying to recall how I managed to get a little remorse out of my gum-nabbing daughter, yet I had no answer. I couldn't offer Megan advice or tips or sage stories of instilling remorse in a 5-year-old kid because, to be honest, I think I just lucked out in that area.

How I could pass along that luck to Megan is the second thing I wish I had learned this week. But I didn't.

Perhaps next week I'll learn the things I wish I had learned this week.

Or perhaps I'll learn the answers to both today... courtesy your comments on my ignorance.

Perhaps?

Update on my sister: There's actually a third thing I wish I had learned this week and that would be the date my sister — who's still on the ICU floor at the hospital in Denver — might return home. Debbie continues to have issues related to her diagnosed pulmonary arterial hypertension, continues to confound doctors with those issues. I did learn she's improved in many respects, though, the learning of which makes the things I didn't learn matter far less.

Enjoy your weekend!

Today's question:

What did you learn — or not learn — this week?