THE BRIEFS
A collection of posts featuring tips and inspiration, ideas and observations — in other words, Grandma’s briefs.
Food, drinks, gifts and time with family make the holidays a merry occasion for people across the country. However, all that celebrating can sometimes become a distraction from maintaining heart health.
Seeking a guaranteed good time for your grands? One requiring no cooking or crafting ability, no expenditure of cash?
I love a good quote. I especially love a good quote that emphasizes the grandness of grandmothers.
Below are nine such quotes. If you’re a grandma, I think you’ll love them, too.
When my eldest daughter was born in 1982, I committed myself to diligently filling out her baby book regularly so as to not miss recording a single milestone or moment.
When my second daughter arrived in 1983, I continued to be fairly consistent in keeping track in her baby book, too.
I first fully grasped the definition of the word 'bittersweet' in late 2007, when I learned I was going to be a grandmother. I was thrilled to have a grandbaby on the way, but it literally hurt my heart to know I'd be only a minor player in the baby's daily life, due to how far away my new grandchild would live.
Yes, I was a long-distance grandma from the get-go. I’m still a long-distance grandma to the one who first made me a grandmother. To his two brothers, as well.
While adults may joke about needing to relearn how to be around others in a post-pandemic world, children can also benefit from a refresh of certain soft skills — especially young children who may not remember pre-pandemic life.
Building on these skills can also help children prepare for a successful return to school.
There are numerous firsts in a child's life worth celebrating. The milestones Mom and Dad mark, though, likely aren’t the same ones Grandma and Grandpa celebrate.
Here are 30 firsts in the life of a grandchild that warm a grandparent's heart and warrant a happy dance.
In my book, The First-Time Grandmother’s Journal, I offer writing prompts to help new grandmothers dig deep then capture their thoughts on matters that matter in the months leading up to a first grandchild’s birth and the child’s first year.
I also provide bits of advice to help new grandmas navigate their new role—advice even seasoned grandmas can appreciate and apply—such as the following two-page spread on being present.
It’s taken me more than a month to figure out how to share this news. It’s serious and breaks my heart, yet I don’t want to come across as despaired. I hope to warn others but wish to not seem alarmist. And I want to share the challenge confronting my oldest grandson and his parents every single day forever going forward without suggesting I have any doubt they’re up to it.
My daughter, Megan, is so up to it, in fact, that she provided me the perfect tool by which I can share the news without racking my brain for the right words, right sentiment. That tool being the video below.
See, my grandson Brayden, the active and healthy 12 year old who first made me a grandma, who …
Kids just want to have fun, especially when spending time with a babysitter. Parents primarily want their kids to be safe. And therein lies the challenge for grandparents who have secured the babysitting gig: finding the perfect balance between delighting grandchildren while pleasing their parents.
Master the challenge—and be the best babysitter ever—by considering the following tips.
Several years ago I wrote a post on things grandmas do when others won’t. Upon publishing that, many experienced grandmas commented with additional tasks to add to the list.
I’ve intended to update that post to include those comments for quite some time and have simply never gotten around to it. But considering the amount of spare time Covid restrictions have afforded most of us, I’ve finally done it.
During my daughters’ school years, I kept all the papers and projects they brought home from school. Everything. Spelling tests, stories, handwriting practice (they did that back then), certificates earned for field day and perfect attendance, report cards for each quarter of each year.
I kept it all. Times three. All in cardboard boxes in a storage space beneath the house we lived in for the duration of the girls’ school years. Lots of …
The year my husband and I were married, his stepmom, Diane, whom I had never met and Jim hadn’t seen in years, sent us a lovely joint Christmas stocking she had made for us. She also sent an adorable handmade one for baby Brianna, who was born soon after we married.
Diane sent another precious stocking the following year, when Megan was born. And another two years after that for our baby Andie.
When Megan and Preston married and…
Disclosure: This post made possible with support from AARP's Disrupt Aging. All opinions are my own.
When I first started my blog in 2009, one of the "editorial guidelines" I set for myself was that I would not post photos of myself on my website. At that time I had been a grandma for a little over a year, and in those twelve-plus months, when I shared my grandma status with strangers—retail clerks, random folks encountered while out and about, friends-in-the-making, and so forth—I was more often than not met with the comment, "You don't look like a grandma."
As a goal for my blog was to establish myself as a go-to guide for all things related to the grandmother lifestyle, I determined that—based on such comments—posting pictures of myself might…
BE unconditional
Grandchildren come in assorted shapes, sizes, aptitudes, attitudes, with varied qualities and quirks. Love them because of those, regardless of those, in spite of those.
BE fair
Wherever two or more grandkids gather or grow, possibilities for playing favorites flourish. Avoid the all-too-human temptation to...
With all that we do for our grandchildren, they do for us so very much more. Things such as reminding us of important lessons we've learned yet often forget to put into practice. Things such as these.
My long-distance grandsons have what they call “the home phone,” an iPhone Brayden, Camden, and Declan all have equal access to for communicating with friends and family (approved by Mom and Dad).
Occasionally my phone dings and pings over and over as I get a flood of gifs and goofy emojis texted from “the home phone.” As my grandsons don’t indicate who it is doing the texting, I have to guess according to what the message contains. If text is included, it’s typically Brayden …
My husband's niece delivered a beautiful — and big, 10-plus pounds! — baby boy last week. When I saw photos she'd shared of him on Instagram, I commented, "What a precious little love bug!"
To which I immediately thought to myself, "What a freakin' grandma thing to say."
I considered adding another comment cracking on my initial comment but figured what the heck, I am a grandma, and that's just the kind of thing grandmas say.
Which led me in my ever inquisitive way to soon after google "things grandmas say."
The results were sometimes hilarious, sometimes...
NINE
Co-grandparents. Otherwise known as the in-laws, or the other grandparents. These folks are now your partners for life in this grand gig called grandparenting. Partners in loving your grandchildren as only grandparents can. Hold them close. Have their back and they'll...
I live in the mountains and my grandsons live in the desert. Which means neither they nor I have much opportunity to enjoy natural water features—lakes, rivers, and so forth—and the outdoor adventures related to them. It's so very dry here, so very dry there.
Because of our similarly parched home states, when I recently toured gems of communities on the "sunrise coast" of Michigan—primarily the Tawases and Alpena (thanks, Pure Michigan!)—I couldn't help but consider how much my landlocked grandsons would be thrilled by ocean-like Lake Huron as well as...
Putting words on paper—or pixel, as the case may be in high-tech communications—can be difficult at times. Especially at the times that matter most, those milestone moments we want our sentiments to perfectly convey what's in our hearts and be cherished forever by loved ones.
I often get email requests from grandparents to help them write the right words in greeting cards, letters, baby books and...
As long as my grandsons have known me, I've had a camera in my hand more often than not. I may not be a pro, but taking photos is one of my favorite activities.
I like to think it's my penchant for taking pictures that encouraged my grandsons to enjoy using various cameras—from their kid camera to smartphones to my DSLR—for shooting shots around their place now and then.
I'm pretty good about explaining to my grandsons the basics of using a camera, but as a true and untrained amateur photographer myself, I'm not the greatest at sharing with them sure-shot techniques for composition and more, in easy-to-understand snippets they'll understand and remember.
Enter National Geographic Kids book Guide To Photography by Nancy Honovich and National Geographic Photographer Annie Griffiths (which I...
Grandma and Grandpa's house is a magical place for a grandchild. Having your yard certified as a wildlife habitat by the National Wildlife Federation can increase the magical factor tenfold and more.
Certifying your yard, no matter how big or how small, is much easier than...
My husband has been helping out with the household grocery shopping more often lately, which I'm thankful for because I hate, no, I detest grocery shopping. I'm not so thankful, though, for Jim's exclamations and complaints each time he asks what I need him to pick up at the store and I tell him, among other things, toilet paper. Every time.
"How can we go through so much <cuss> toilet paper?" he groans.
After more than 33 years together, my husband still doesn't fully grasp...
Once you're old enough to be a grandparent, a good night's sleep is hard to come by. Chalk it up to hormones, hot flashes, medications, and more. Considering the causes can be exhausting in itself.
Despite our continual quest to quench our desire for downtime, we grandparents often flat-out refuse to rest our weary heads when we're with our grandchildren. Whether it's because we feel guilty or we simply want to "get stuff done," resisting a rest can be detrimental to our health and happiness. Detrimental to the health and happiness of our grandchildren, too—especially when they're in our care.
Here's why:
NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP...
On the upper level of my home, we have a three-season porch. It's fashioned after the porches popular in Colorado Springs in the late 1800s, peaceful spots where tuberculosis patients rested on beds while soaking up the fresh, restorative mountain air.
Ours is a three-season porch, with no insulation protecting the space from cold. Meaning, we don't access the room in the winter. Come spring, though, the porch door is opened—and our indoor swing firmly attached in the doorway.
My grandsons and other young-at-heart visitors...
Happy grandmas pace themselves when with the grandchildren, taking naps when the grandkids do, if...
Practice indeed makes perfect. I quit practicing, though, thus quit being able to do a few things I once really enjoyed. These things.
Crochet. I learned to crochet a basic afghan when Jim and I first...
Memories and possibilities
Spring has sprung, which means it's time for parents and grandparents to begin searching and signing kids up for camps to enrich and entertain the little ones throughout the summer. Thoughts of such have me experiencing a melancholic longing for camp.
Which is a particularly odd emotion considering that...
Sometimes, regardless of how much we wish things could be different, grandchildren and their parents move away from Grandma and Grandpa. Perhaps there's a better financial situation for Mom or Dad farther away, or maybe it's a marital split that results in beloved grandbabies being relocated farther from grandparents than ever before.
I have always been a long-distance grandma—my grandsons have never lived near me. So I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be to learn grandchildren who lived nearby will soon live miles and miles away. Such a transition is surely hurtful not only for the grandparents, but for the grandchildren, too.
As a longtime long-distance grandma, though, I do know there...
With all that we do for our grandchildren, they do for us so very much more. Things such as reminding us of important lessons we've learned yet often forget to put into practice. Things such as these.
AFFLATUS — n. A sudden rush of divine or poetic inspiration. Grandchildren are the cause of many a grandparents' afflatus.
BELGARD — n. A kind or loving look. Cookies are nice but it's belgards from Grandma that kiddos crave most.
COMICONOMENCLATURIST — n. A specialist in funny names. There's no...
Not long ago, I realized I repeat myself. Again and again and again. The same phrase.
Lest you think I’ve developed a tic, let me explain.
Mid-summer last year, I faced some medical challenges. Despite the distress, I still had to maintain my home, my family, my connections, and — most time-consuming of all — my freelance job (you don’t work, you don’t get paid). I began noticing I’d accomplish each...
I used to be one of those moms whose child — or children, plural — recently left for college. You know... the moms walking around with a dazed, how-the-heck-did-this-happen-so-fast look in their eyes, virtually visible cracks in their hearts as they miss the once little ones who have flown their nest. They're the moms who live for holiday breaks, spring breaks, summer breaks, for that's when their loved ones return home, back to the safety of the nest where mom can hold each one in her arms and savor the sweet scents and sounds of her babies all around.
I was one of those moms. That first year my daughters were scattered afar for schooling and such was rough. It got easier, though, as it does for all moms (and dads) whose kiddos have gone off for enrichment and enlightenment on the road to becoming full-fledged adults. I found new...
Grandmas can do some pretty amazing things. That's not too surprising, though, considering that they're mothers super-sized into grandmothers. Their super powers are practically a given.
There are, though, a few things grandmas can't do. At least 12, in fact.
ONE
Grandmas cannot send letters, cards, and boxes through the mail...
Before I was a grandmother of three grandsons, before I was a mother to three daughters, I was a daughter of one single mother. My mom had custody of four or more of her seven kids — myself and my four sisters and two brothers — at various times, depending on who might be staying with Dad, from my twelfth year up until I left home at 17.
From Pinterest: http://bit.ly/11VZkAKWith so many kids to care for, the rare treats Mom allowed herself were the Family Circle and Woman's Day magazines she'd pick up when stretching thin as can be the dollars at the grocery store. Back then, the...
How often have you thought, "Now that's a great idea! I should do that!" when a grandchild tells you about a fun experience or activity with his "other" grandparents? I admit I have a time or two.
Yet our grandchildren are enriched by the varied gifts, talents and experiences each grandparent...
My three grandsons and daughter surprised me with a visit, filling my nest with the magical mayhem that accompanies young boys.
For seven soul-satisfying days, love and laughter — along with loud toys and joyful noise — mark the days in spectacular, unforgettable ways.
Then, in what seems a blink of the eye, the...
I didn't support my youngest when she wanted to change majors — and universities — midway through her college career.
I didn't call parents to tattle on their mean girls (and boys) who made a living hell of several academic years for my middle daughter.
I didn't demand my oldest...
My husband and I recently had yet another discussion on death and dying, as mid-life, long-married couples are wont to do. (It's not just us, right?) Our conversation led me to consider how it's often said that toward the end of life, many folks lament and regret not having said "I love you" often enough, if at all, to those they love the most.
I don't have that concern. I do tell...
"It would be good for me to know those things," my middle daughter sighed into the phone the other day. And she's right.
We were on the phone, discussing challenges she faces with her middle child, my second grandson. There is hope, I pointed out, a...
I belong to several online writing groups. As a freelance writer, the gathering spots of like-minded wordsmiths are where I most often find support, advice, inspiration.
One tidbit I recently gleaned from such a group was instruction on how to determine the topics that one might determine — and promote to publishers — as his or her areas of expertise. The simple solution offered was to consider...
5 names for GRANDMA:
I've been exercising my brain a bit more than usual the past couple weeks in an effort to counteract some mushiness and muck courtesy multiple sclerosis. Challenging one's noggin' is wise for one and all as we age — not just those with cognitive issues — and my dear friend Ruth and her Cranium Crunches site are a super source of fun ways to keep the brain fit.
Ruth recently shared with me...
While awaiting a flight recently, I nabbed a spot at the airport charging station and proceeded to catch up on business on my laptop. A burger-carrying baby boomer woman soon secured a stool across from me and commenced consuming her sandwich with unabashed fervor.
Then things turned bad.
The woman began...
Being a long-distance grandma can be hard on a grandmother's heart at times. There are, however, several perks to having plenty of miles between Grandma and her sweeties. Here are 14 of them.
14
Dates with friends or Grandpa...
I take a lot of photos. Such a statement surely is no surprise to regular readers of Grandma's Briefs as I've shared thousands of them here since starting this site in July of 2009.
Those are the photos on my blog. Then there are those I have saved on my computer, a collection that's at least ten times what I've shared...
I simply cannot take part in one's death, I told my husband.
"Well... it's your choice," Jim responded. "I'll back you whatever you choose to do."
Ultimately, I chose to do the right thing: I renewed our daily newspaper subscription.
I didn't want to. Really, I...
Much of the time that I worked at the local newspaper was spent in a small department. I was the special sections editor for several years and had, during the best of times, three staff writers who worked at desks nearby. (Plus a photographer and a couple shared designers, but their desks were elsewhere.)
The great thing about our small department was that when one of us had a question regarding grammar or punctuation or AP Style, rather than look it up in...
I admit it: I'm a compulsive clock-watcher.
As a freelance writer working from home, I don't watch the clock in the sense that I eye the hour hand as it makes its egregiously slow move from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. so I can...
Fridays are typically when I pontificate here on what I learned during the week. What I learned this week is this: My eldest daughter is one of the most kind-hearted, deserving and — most importantly today — resilient women I know.
When Brianna was a teen, Jim and I often marvelled at the manner in which she could come under the wrath of her parents — for, like all teens, Brianna certainly did some wrath-invoking acts of idiocy...
Giving thanks for our blessings tops the Thanksgiving to-do list of many — right along with the grocery shopping, turkey stuffing, pie filling and more.
Naming those blessings can sometimes be a challenge, though, especially when our What I Want list far outweighs our What I Have list. Yet as grandmas, it's no chore at all to list and be ever thankful for our grandma gig, especially those parts we consider the best.
Here, straight from some of the Grilled Grandmas, are the very best things about being a grandma. They're by no means exclusive to grandmas, of course, as grandpas likely feel the same, equally believe these are among the best of the best blessings for which we grandparents give thanks.
The best thing about being a grandma is, in their eyes, I am sooooo cool. —Jules
Much as we'd like to or we pretend to, grandmas can't know everything.
If we simply know at least one thing, though, from each of the following areas, we'll know more than enough to fully connect with—and impress!—our grandchildren of any age.
I'm often asked by family, friends — and sometimes even strangers — for answers and directions on a variety of topics. I'm happy to say that I can usually give them what they seek. My husband often jokingly calls me Google; my daughters consider me one of the best researchers they know.
Which makes it difficult to not fancy myself a know-it-all at times.
To keep things...
There are numerous firsts in a child's life worth celebrating. The milestones Mom and Dad celebrate, though, may be a wee bit different than those Grandma and Grandpa celebrate.
Here are 30 firsts in the life of a grandchild that warm a grandparent's heart and warrant a happy dance:
• First time being...
We grandparents regularly show love and encouragement to our grandchildren. Yet how often do we turn that steady flow of love and encouragement on ourselves? If you're like me, not often.
Time for that to change.
Following are sixteen ways to nurture and care for yourself in ways you likely encourage your grandchildren to care for and about their selves.
I recently saw an advertisement for Jiffy Pop popcorn, and I thought to myself, THAT is something I need to pack in my grandma bag to share with my grandsons next time.
Considering their delight in watching air-popped popcorn pop — and attempting to sing the Too Pooped to Pop song while we watch — I imagine Bubby and Mac would get quite a thrill out of watching the Jiffy Pop foil top grow as kernels pop and puff up inside.
Jiffy Pop has been around forever, it seems...
I was invited to participate in the #redThanks teacher tribute project with RedEnvelope.com wherein writers share stories on themes of mentorship, role models and/or teaching — stories of a "gift" deserving of a thankful tribute. This is my story, served up in a letter of thanks. This is not a sponsored post.
Dear Mr. Marr,
It's been more than three decades since I...
My writing career and where it's headed have been on my mind a lot lately.
So, too, has been where my writing career began.
I've written and fantasized about being a writer for as long as I can remember. It wasn't until nearly 20 years ago, though, that I became...
As my oldest daughter and I embark on another round of supporting one another in efforts to get into shape, the idea of irresistible temptations have been on my mind.
Thankfully I don't lose my willpower when it comes to chocolate. No, it's carbs that do me in. Love me some pasta... and potatoes. I'm working hard to resist them now.
I've lately considered other temptations that get the best of me. Here are nine — with the top...
How could I possibly not moan about missing these cuties?
January is National Mentoring Month. The National Mentoring Month website provides oodles of information and plenty of reasons why mentoring matters, noting that — to name just a few — kids with mentors:
- have better school attendance, better attitudes about school and a better chance of going on to higher education;
- are 46 percent less likely than their peers to start using illegal drugs and 27 percent less likely to start drinking...
I don't have a daughter-in-law. As I have three daughters and no sons, odds are against me ever having one. I'm okay with that, happy about that, even.
I was recently assigned an article for Grandparents.com on why I'm happy I don't have a daughter-in-law. You can find that article here (along with some not-so-nice comments, too, from readers who apparently didn't like my words... or me... at all).
While researching that article, I had the opportunity to glean some grand advice from Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka “Dr. Romance”) psychotherapist and author of The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty. See, I thought the combative relationships between some MILs and DILs were related to overprotective, over possessive, over controlling mothers. Umm, mothers like myself, I admit (which is one big reason I'm glad I don't have a DIL). Tessina told me otherwise and offered tips for those grandmas struggling to right a wobbly relationship.
Hello friends!
I hope everyone is well and enjoying fall, my favorite time of year.
Since I last wrote, a fair amount of this and that has happened for my family and me.