10 ways to support school-bound grandchildren

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Kids of all ages will soon head back to school — if they haven't already. Though Mom and Dad play the starring role in supporting their children's educational efforts, grandparents have plenty of opportunities to make their mark, too.

Here are a few suggestions for supporting school-bound grandchildren in ways that will garner an A+ not only from the kids, but from their parents and teachers, too.

back to school ideas for grandparents

1. Send a care package to be opened the night before school starts. Consider adding new cozy jammies to help ease pre-first-day jitters (or to cuddle in after a rough first day), new pencils emblazoned with favorite characters, and a greeting card expressing best wishes for a fabulous start to the school year.

2. Ask Mom or Dad for a copy of the school supply list as well as suggestions on what you can purchase to check off the list.

3. Offer to buy the all-important backpack or lunch box — but only if the child goes with you to pick it out. Fads and styles come and go in an instant, and if your grandchild doesn't get a box or bag donning her favorite character or what's hot among her peers, chances are she won't be lugging either to school.

4. Speaking of backpacks, recruit your grandchild to help you purchase and fill a backpack for a less-fortunate child. Most schools will gladly accept such donations for their students in need, plus a handful of charitable organizations conduct backpack drives. Check around in your city for such opportunities or do a Google search for "backpack donations" to find an organization near you.

5. Request a copy of the school calendar so you can mark important dates and events you may be able to attend, such as the back-to-school open house, fall programs, field days, sporting events and more. The calendar should show Grandparents Day events, too — which, given enough notice, even long-distance grandparents may be able to attend.

6. Ask Mom or Dad if they mind, then sign up for email newsletters and blog updates from the teacher. Every school should have a website with reams of information of interest to parents and grandparents, and many teachers are now required to keep a blog for those who want to stay on top of what's happening in the classroom.

7. If you’re a local grandparent, check with Mom or Dad first — you don’t want to overstep your boundaries — then email the child's teacher to introduce yourself.

8. Then go beyond simply introducing yourself to your grandchild's teacher and offer to volunteer in the classroom. One of the most active and admirable grandma volunteers I've come across is Grandma Kc from the former blog Amaraland. Years after her granddaughter was out of elementary school, Kc continues to volunteer there. Long-distance grandparents who can't help at their grandchild's school can make a difference by volunteering to be a grandparent helper at a nearby school. Just as your grandchild is far away, there are many grandchildren whose grandparents are far away — kids who would be thrilled to have a stand-in for their Grandma or Grandpa (their teacher would, too).

9. Stock up on postcards or gift cards to send to your grandchild throughout the year to show your support for their hard efforts and your wish for their educational success. Adults often take it for granted children just know we want them to do well in school, but having our wishes in writing to hold in their hands and re-read when studies — and peer pressure — overwhelm can bouy kids in tough times we adults may not even realize they're having.

10. Show genuine interest in their lessons and encourage further learning outside the classroom. Have an open and ongoing dialogue about what you most enjoyed about classes at the child's age, ask what he's excited to learn or most challenged by, find out what he wants to know more about. Then plan outings related to subjects they're especially interested in. My grandma friend Judy can teach us all a thing or two about doing exactly that, as she and her husband regularly supplemented her grandchildren's lessons with fun and educational activities, road trips and more throughout their school years.

Back-to-school time can be scary and challenging for all students, from those just entering kindergarten on up to those who've been at it for years. No matter their age, be sure your grandchildren know they can count on you to cheer them on as they hit the books this fall.

Today's question:

What was your favorite new school supply when you were a student?

Picture this: The graduate

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Bubby "graduates" from pre-K tomorrow, with plans to sing at the event and even bigger plans to attend kindergarten in the fall.

preschool photo
Bubby's pre-K school picture

My biggest question about the whole affair: How in the world can he already be that old?

Today's question:

Who are the graduates in your family this graduation season?

Off to school and home again

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This past week was a big one for Megan, Bubby, and Mac.

First off, Megan and Bubby headed off to school for the new school year. I have no photos of Megan's first day of class—adult children are goofy that way, not sharing first-day photos with their mothers. I do, though, have pictures of Bubby's first day of Pre-K and with his new teacher, stolen borrowed from Megan's Facebook page:  

The smile's a pretty darn good sign things are off to a good start.

That's the "off to school" portion of this post.

The "home again" part? Well, that belongs to Mac. Mac who really did not like going to daycare. Mac who, apparently for most of his time at daycare, looked much like he did when he'd had enough of riding in his carseat on their recent California visit:

And much like he looks when he's just plain had enough of anything and everything:

During his first week at daycare, Mac didn't act happy and Mac didn't look happy. He had given  daycare a try, but he'd had enough. And he had no qualms about letting one and all know things just weren't working for him.

Megan searched high and low for a solution to Mac's daily unhappiness. She checked out other childcare centers, she interviewed several home-based care providers. None felt right.

Then she considered nannies. A nanny for Mac did feel right. Especially when the nanny would be Aunt Katie—Preston's aunt and Mac and Bubby's great aunt. A great aunt not only by virtue of her place on the family tree, but great because she does awesome stuff like this:

That's Bubby flying high on the trampoline, thanks to a boost from Aunt Katie.

So Mac is back home again instead of at a daycare center. And happy. With Aunt Katie playing the role of nanny.

Aunt Katie's first day on the job, Mac didn't cry when Daddy left for work. He didn't cry when Mommy left for work, either. He did cry, though, when Aunt Katie left to go home at the end of the day.

That's a good sign, Megan says. A very good sign.

School bells have officially rung. After a wee bit of tweaking and making the best of the challenges, so far, so good—for the back-to-working-mommy Megan, the Pre-K Bubby, and especially for the happily home again Mac.

Today's question:

How smoothly has the summer-to-school-time transition gone for you and yours?

Losing one's cool

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Megan attended parent-teacher conferences last week, learning all about how Bubby is doing in his three-year-old preschool class. As the teacher went through Bubby's progress report, she pointed out that one of the areas in which Bubby and his classmates are working hard is "problem solving."

The teacher proceeded to tell Megan that she's focusing intently on problem solving with the entire class, teaching them techniques for diffusing situations in which it's easy to lose one's cool. Stepping back and counting to 10 before reacting is one of the many techniques she's stressing with the youngsters.

The other day Megan called me to say that Bubby was in the throes of a "meltdown." Contrary to his ever-cool presence in photos I post on this blog, Bubby does indeed lose that cool occasionally and suffer true meltdowns. As all three-year-olds do. Often. Which is likely why problem solving is a big part of the curriculum in the three-year-old class.

The meltdown was not news and not the reason Megan was calling. Bubby's handling of the meltdown was the news.

Megan reported that she and Bubby had been disagreeing about something or another, when Bubby started acting like, well, a three-year-old. So she sent him upstairs to his room to calm down until he could act more appropriately and make better choices that didn't lead to his irrational behavior. (She likely used more child-friendly terminology, but that's the gist of it.)

Bubby angrily huffed up to his room. Just before Megan called, she said, she couldn't help but laugh out loud at Bubby's reaction to being sent to his room. "I actually LOLed, Mom," she said. Because once Bubby was in his room, Megan could hear him ranting and raving. Then he'd quiet down and all she'd hear is him counting. "1...2...3...". Then he'd YELL again, quickly followed by a return to the counting once more. "1...2...3...".

At the time of the phone call, Bubby still hadn't reached 10, still hadn't resolved his issues, still hadn't solved his problem.

But he was trying. And proving that even at three years old, stepping back and counting before flying off the handle does indeed make a difference.

(Even if that difference is simply instigating actual LOLing from Mommy.)

Today's question:

What problem-solving technique do you use to keep your cool when angry?