10 ways to support school-bound grandchildren

Kids of all ages will soon head back to school — if they haven't already. Though Mom and Dad play the starring role in supporting their children's educational efforts, grandparents have plenty of opportunities to make their mark, too.

Here are a few suggestions for supporting school-bound grandchildren in ways that will garner an A+ not only from the kids, but from their parents and teachers, too.

1. Send a care package to be opened the night before school starts. Consider adding new cozy jammies to help ease pre-first-day jitters (or to cuddle in after a rough first day), new pencils emblazoned with favorite characters, and a greeting card expressing best wishes for a fabulous start to the school year.

2. Ask Mom or Dad for a copy of the school supply list as well as suggestions on what you can purchase to check off the list.

3. Offer to buy the all-important backpack or lunch box — but only if the child goes with you to pick it out. Fads and styles come and go in an instant, and if your grandchild doesn't get a box or bag donning her favorite character or what's hot among her peers, chances are she won't be lugging either to school.

4. Speaking of backpacks, recruit your grandchild to help you purchase and fill a backpack for a less-fortunate child. Most schools will gladly accept such donations for their students in need, plus a handful of charitable organizations conduct backpack drives. Check around in your city for such opportunities or do a Google search for "backpack donations" to find an organization near you.

5. Request a copy of the school calendar so you can mark important dates and events you may be able to attend, such as the back-to-school open house, fall programs, field days, sporting events and more. The calendar should show Grandparents Day events, too — which, given enough notice, even long-distance grandparents may be able to attend.

6. Ask Mom or Dad if they mind, then sign up for email newsletters and blog updates from the teacher. Every school should have a website with reams of information of interest to parents and grandparents, and many teachers are now required to keep a blog for those who want to stay on top of what's happening in the classroom.

7. If you’re a local grandparent, check with Mom or Dad first — you don’t want to overstep your boundaries — then email the child's teacher to introduce yourself.

8. Then go beyond simply introducing yourself to your grandchild's teacher and offer to volunteer in the classroom. One of the most active and admirable grandma volunteers I've come across is Grandma Kc from the former blog Amaraland. Years after her granddaughter was out of elementary school, Kc continues to volunteer there. Long-distance grandparents who can't help at their grandchild's school can make a difference by volunteering to be a grandparent helper at a nearby school. Just as your grandchild is far away, there are many grandchildren whose grandparents are far away — kids who would be thrilled to have a stand-in for their Grandma or Grandpa (their teacher would, too).

9. Stock up on postcards or gift cards to send to your grandchild throughout the year to show your support for their hard efforts and your wish for their educational success. Adults often take it for granted children just know we want them to do well in school, but having our wishes in writing to hold in their hands and re-read when studies — and peer pressure — overwhelm can bouy kids in tough times we adults may not even realize they're having.

10. Show genuine interest in their lessons and encourage further learning outside the classroom. Have an open and ongoing dialogue about what you most enjoyed about classes at the child's age, ask what he's excited to learn or most challenged by, find out what he wants to know more about. Then plan outings related to subjects they're especially interested in. My grandma friend Judy can teach us all a thing or two about doing exactly that, as she and her husband regularly supplemented her grandchildren's lessons with fun and educational activities, road trips and more throughout their school years.

Back-to-school time can be scary and challenging for all students, from those just entering kindergarten on up to those who've been at it for years. No matter their age, be sure your grandchildren know they can count on you to cheer them on as they hit the books this fall.

Today's question:

What was your favorite new school supply when you were a student?

36 tips for new grandparents

I've been a grandma for about five years now. I've learned much in that time, from my own experience as well as from the amazing Grilled Grandmas.

One thing I've learned for sure is that no matter how long I've been a grandma, there's always more to learn. Which means that although these tips — culled from my heart and the Grilled Grandma archives — are intended for new grandparents, there's surely one or two even the most-seasoned grandma or grandpa can put to good use.

• Be prepared to be unreasonably crazy in love. The love for a grandchild is unlike anything you’ve felt before.

• Be gentle with Mom and Dad — even when they don’t do things your way.

• Don't be afraid of acting silly.

• Give the parents all the love and support you can muster.

• Make no comparisons, good or bad, to your other grandchildren.

• When the parents drive you nuts, smile instead of screaming, as they hold the keys to baby visits.

• Have lots of pictures taken of you with them — especially if you're typically the one behind the camera.

• Be available to the parents for advice, but never give it — or your opinion — unless asked.

• And when the parents don’t put your requested advice to use, bite your tongue.

• Get extra time with baby by volunteering to change the diapers.

• Don’t expect perfection — from the child, the parents or yourself.

• Respect the wishes and rules of the parents.

• Always let your grandchildren know you love them, in whatever fashion is comfortable for you.

• Let them know you’ll always be honest with them, too, and that they can trust you.

• Kiss them every chance you get.

• Get down on the floor and play with them.

• Remember that grandchildren are not their parents. Nor are they your children.

• Be someone the parents enjoy having around... so they'll have you around often.

• Make every effort to see and be with your grandchildren so they get to know you, always know you.

• Get advice on equipment, toys and more from other grandparents and young parents.

• Leave the parenting up to the parents.

• Don't worry about material things you are unable to give.

• Visit garage sales for toys, books, and furnishings (but never, ever for car seats, bicycle helmets, or other safety equipment).

• Don’t compare yourself to other grandmothers.

• Break your bad habits now, before the grandchildren copy you.

• Establish rules for your home when the kids are visiting, but be sure to never cross parental boundaries.

• Remember you are still a parent, not just a grandparent. Your child still wants you to consider his or her interests, concerns, achievements.

• When grandchildren visit, remember there is nothing they can break that you can’t live without.

• Don't take togetherness for granted; circumstances can change in an instant.

• When you’re the caretaker, get specifics — what the child needs, what the parent wants, and what time parents will return.

• Take the time to make the time with your grandchildren memorable.

• Be yourself and give of yourself.

• Enrich your grandchild’s life with more you, less stuff.

• Practice patience.

• Be a calm, loving, and engaged presence in your grandchild’s life.

• Love, enjoy, and appreciate every single moment.

Photo: Yes, that's me with Baby Mac (who's no longer <sniff> a baby).

Today's question:

What would you add to the list?