Oh, how my grandsons swear

I didn't let my daughters swear when they were young. I didn't allow them to swear in my presence when they were older, either. For the most part. When they were teens, I did allow them one curse word — that word being crap — that they could use when they rilly, rilly, rilly needed to let loose with exclamations of an unsavory sort.

My daughter Megan is more strict than I am. Sometimes surprisingly so. She has a far more restrictive expected code of behavior than I ever did with my girls. That's mostly, I think, because she's a teacher and sees the horrid lack of respect many school kids have for others (and themselves) nowadays.

Because Megan is so strict — and I say that with genuine admiration, dear Megan — I'm pretty sure Bubby and Mac will never, ever be allowed to say crap.

That said, though, there is one exclamation the boys are allowed to say, and it cracks me up each time it comes out of their mouths. During my visit with my grandsons a few weeks ago, I caught Mac on camera uttering the mighty words of frustration when I was trying to get him to say fire engine or fire truck (and, no, it's not that mangled curse word):

Oh, nuts! Just makes me chuckle every time.

Bubby says it, too, and it's always so unexpected coming out of the mouths of those little boys that I can't help but laugh.

What's especially funny is that, as you can see from Mac's face when I chuckle in the video above, my grandsons have no idea why Gramma finds that so funny.

Truth be told, I'm not exactly sure either.

Oh, nuts!

Yeah... it's just funny to me.

Oh, nuts!

I admit it: It doesn't take much to amuse this grandma.

Today's question:

What chuckle-worthy pseudo curse words come out of the mouths your little ones?

Grandma's grand impression

As I get older, I find that I no longer care much about impressing others. That wasn't always the case.

I recall doing my best to impress as far back as my primary school years, in particular during a fateful event featuring a frog. That should have left a lasting impression upon me the folly of trying to impress others. It didn't.

Years later, my older sister reinforced the idea that impressing others matters when she, a teen at the time and me a pre-teen, introduced me to her new boyfriend. My sister and I shared a bedroom, and she positioned me on the full bed we shared with a book in my lap. "Be sure to put on your glasses before he comes in," she said. "That way he'll think you're smart."

I did look smart. He, though, turned out to be an idiot — which my sister realized only after that boyfriend became her husband then, thankfully, ex-husband.

I still wear glasses, and I still look pretty darn smart in them. I wear them strictly to see, though, not to impress. Because, like I said, impressing others matters not one whit to me. I no longer work to impress my immediate family nor my extended family, not my friends nor strangers. Not even my boss.

Okay, the last one — my boss — doesn't really count because as a freelancer, I have no boss. I do, though, have my readers. And while I do hope to entertain and enlighten you to some degree, I certainly don't try to impress you.

Nope, impressing others is no longer important to me.

Except, that is, when it comes to my grandchildren.

You grandparents likely know what I mean. What others think of us is neither here nor there, yet what our grandchildren think of us is everything. So we do our best to impress the wee ones, performing stunts of magnificent athletic/artistic/intelligence proportion that scream "Look at me! Love me! Be impressed by me!"

And sometimes those shouts and stunts fail miserably. Or they just plain scare the <cuss> out of the kids. Which is exactly what happened not too long ago when I tried to impress Bubby with Gramma's grace and agility.

Bubby had been impressing me with his newfound acrobatic skills, when I chose to reciprocate and show him my own not-so-newfound but perhaps equally impressive moves. Specifically, I wanted Bubby to see how I could still turn a mean cartwheel, despite not having performed a cartwheel in, well, a few years, give or take a decade or three.

"Stand back," I told Bubby as I raised my arms in the air and assumed cartwheel take-off position.

My obedient grandson stood back, eyes wide and mouth ajar, as Gramma lurched forward, perfectly placed on the floor one hand then the other, then lifted one fo... oh ... lifted nothing, as my feet flat-out refused to follow the perfect lead of my hands. My cartwheel attempt and I came crashing down, much to the horror of Bubby.

"You shouldn't do that, Gramma" Bubby uttered with restrained concern. "You might hurt yourself."

I was okay, though; the only thing hurt was my pride.

But... there was no stopping me and my intent to impress.

"Well, forget the cartwheel," I told Bubby. "But Gramma can definitely still perform perfect somersaults." Sheesh, who couldn't? I thought.

Let's just say my somersault attempt was only slightly less catastrophic than my cartwheel attempt — and only because it didn't require me to become semi-airborne.

Truth is, my body weighs many, many pounds more than it once did, pounds that posed quite a challenge to my neck when I placed my head firmly on the floor and set myself in slow but purposeful forward motion in typical somersault fashion. Slow being the operative word as I felt a crunch in my neck that signaled Gramma had gone a wee bit beyond awkward on this move and had rolled right on into physically dangerous territory.

Bubby grimaced while offering "Wow, Gramma" as quickly as possible so I'd dare not attempt another roll. (Little did he know there was no way in <cuss> Gramma could have proceeded into a second roll.) Fortunately he — nor Megan — ever seemed to noticed how stiff I held my head and neck for the next several days of my visit, as I truly had hurt myself, that it was more than my pride I had been pinged in that particular attempt to impress.

From such folly, I must admit I did learn one important lesson from Bubby: Quit trying so hard.

It was later during that same visit that I realized my sister had been right all those years ago: Sporting spectacles is indeed the key to making a smart impression.

If nothing else, glasses are definitely the safest way for a grandma to make an impression — at least for this sometimes-not-so-smart grandma.

Today's question:

How have you tried — and possibly failed — to impress your grandchildren or children?

Grandma's good fortune

I reside at the far end of "fortunate" when it comes to being a long-distance grandma. Reason being that despite my grandsons living more than 800 miles away, I get to see Mac and Bubby several times during the year.

I fully realize that is more often than a lot of long-distance grandparents get to see their sweet ones. It's even more often than PawDad, my partner in grandparenting, gets to see his grandsons.

How and why I've gotten so lucky is beyond me. Visits with my grandsons in the past couple years — pretty much since Mac was born — usually close with me unsure of when I'll get to see them again. Then somehow the semi-miraculous occurs and I end up with an unexpected trip to the desert landing in my lap.

Well once again the semi-miraculous has occured. This week the flight details have been finalized, the reservations have been made, and I'm off to see my grandsons midway through October.

As I considered the timing, I quickly realized that October isn't one of my favorite months just because I have few celebrations to plan, but more so because I've had the privilege of seeing my grandsons every October since Bubby was born.

There was last October, when PawDad and I visited together — then I went again alone two weeks later:

 

And the October before, when Megan and the boys visited our house (and we all visited the North Pole):

 

Plus, in October 2010, the month we learned Bubby would be a big brother, I visited sans PawDad:

 

And October 2009:

 

And, of course, there was October 2008, Bubby's very first October:

Yes, October is a very good month for visiting grandsons. I look forward to adding October 2013 to the list.

Did I mention my amazing good fortune?

Today's question:

What month for you features more time with family than any other?

12 things I'm not that I hope my grandchildren will be

1. Fearless

2. Musical

3. Able to swim. Or run a mile.

4. More educated — especially regarding history and geography

5. Unflappable

6. Tireless

7. Well-traveled

8. Multilingual

9. Civic-minded. Or (more) politically aware.

10. Able to parallel park. Or change a tire. Or drive a manual transmission.

11. Green-thumbed

And most of all when mulling over what one may not be:

12. Self-compassionate

Today's question:

What are you not that you hope your grandchildren (and children) will be?

Happy Grandparents Day

8 ways to tell a grandchild 'I love you'

Sure, you tell your grandchildren “I love you” each time you end a telephone conversation or hug them goodbye. Here, though, are ideas for expressing the sentiment at other times in extra-special, unexpected ways.

Chalk it up. Turn the tables on chalk drawings and make one for your grandchild instead of the other way around. Grab some sidewalk chalk and cut loose with a heart-filled message of love your grandchild will see — and appreciate — next time she visits Grandma’s house. Long-distance grandmas can take a photo of their chalk masterpiece and send via text messaging, Facetime, Facebook, or e-mail. Or go the old-fashioned route and print it out then pop it in the mail.

Set a date night. Institute a standing special evening, weekly or monthly, with your grandson or granddaughter. Ideas for your time alone are unlimited: dinner and a movie; taking a class together; hitting the gym; attending a concert; playing at the park. Mix it up or make each date the same. Having several grandchildren make for a full calendar — and full hearts for all, too. Facetime, Skype and Google+ chats/hangouts save the day (and date night) for long-distance grandparents.

Make a mix tape. Okay, it’s not really a mix tape you’d be making, but compiling a playlist of songs that make you think of your grandchild then burning it to CD relays the message o’ love just as effectively (and emotionally) as cassette tapes of days gone by. It’s unlikely your grandchild will listen to your compilation on a CD player. That's okay, though, as it’s simple for him or her — or Mom or Dad — to pop the disc into a computer’s CD drive and transfer the songs over to iTunes or other audio programs for creating a playlist that will work in whatever high-tech way the kiddo chooses.

Crash the cafeteria. Surprise a grandchild by showing up at school to have lunch with her. She’ll be happy to show off Grandma or Grandpa to her friends, and even more excited to lead the way through the lunch line. Or consider bringing lunch to her, takeout or something from her list of favorite dishes made by Grandma. Whatever’s on the menu, be sure to get permission and clearance for the visit from parents and the school in advance.

Show up. In a vein similar to a cafeteria visit, consider taking time off work for a school (or preschool!) event you wouldn’t normally be able to attend: an awards ceremony, science fair, book fair, sporting event, performance, spelling bee. Show up unannounced — to the youngster, that is; again, get permission — and root for your little one. Be sure to remember the camera for capturing the ear-to-ear grins sure to follow when your grandchild spots you in the audience!

Blog about it — together. Create a private blog that only you and your grandchild (and Mom and Dad) can read and post on. All you need is a free gmail e-mail address and a few moments of time spent setting up a free blog on Blogger, making sure to mark the blog settings to be visible to only those invited. Even novices should have an easy time of managing a high-tech way of sharing news, photos, thoughts, concerns…and love. Little ones will need help from Mom and Dad to add posts, pictures and more, but older grandchildren will enjoy the challenge — and likely teach you a thing or two not only about blogging but also about themselves in the process.

Send them searching for it. Use Discovery Education’s Puzzlemaker to create a word search filled with all the things you love about your grandchild. Use your own title and input your own words for a one-sheet puzzle to print directly from the website for sharing with word-loving little ones — or big ones, too. Include an appropriate (and sharpened) pencil to double the fun. (And don’t forget to print out the key, too, just in case she can’t find all the loving words you set out to share.)

Just say it. Don’t reserve your “I love you”s for the end of conversations or visits; proclaim them at unexpected times, too: midway through reading a bedtime — or any time — story; via a midday text; at the closing of grace when sharing a meal. The time is always right to simply say, "I love you!"

Today's question:

How do you like to express your love for your favorite kiddos?