What I learned this week: Our voices matter

I used to sing, now I mostly whistle. For as long as I can remember, I've enjoyed accompanying music of all varieties, from big bands to little bands, from songs that rock to those that roll classically or otherwise. That accompaniment most often came by way of singing along.

Then I started losing my voice on a regular basis. Year after year — afteryearafteryearafteryear — I would get a bad cold that would quickly become laryngitis and I couldn't speak at all for days on end, much less sing. So I whistled.

Whistling came in handy when I had no voice, at least for carrying a tune. It didn't help a bit, though, when I needed to speak. For one long stretch of years, the years when I was a writer then editor at the newspaper, the loss of my voice every couple of months frustrated me to no end. I'd have interviews to conduct, people I'd have to speak to on the phone.

I'd gargle lemon juice in the morning before going to work, gargle lemon juice in the restroom at work, gargle it (or sometimes straight vinegar) before conducting an interview. The sour juices would cut through whatever rendered my vocal cords silent and and I could speak... for at least a few moments.

Sometimes, when the lack of a voice made it impossible for me to conduct my editorial business as I should, I had to ask my coworkers at times to return phone calls on important matters or I had to resort to emailing those who needed to talk to me. And this was before the days when folks checked their email on a regular basis — and long before texting was an option.

When my newspaper department was cut and my associates and I were left surviving on freelancing gigs, the loss of a voice still tripped me up now and again. I clearly recall one horrendous interview for a freelance article, a time when Froggy from Little Rascals had nothing on me and my croaking voice, yet the show, er, interview had to go on. I was so embarrassed listening to myself later as I transcribed that interview. So painful it was to hear, and so painful for my poor interviewee.

Soon after that interview, I started my blog. I've not lost my voice since.

As silly and new-agey as it may seem, I do believe in the mind-body connection, and the connection to losing my voice was this: I wasn't saying what I needed to say, the things I needed to let out, the things I wanted people to know about me and hear from me. My blog allowed me to make my voice heard. I was saying the things I needed to say, so no longer would I lose my voice.

Because I've been sick many, many times since starting my blog but have not once lost my voice, I firmly believe that through my blog I found my voice.

Through my blog others have found my voice, too. My voice seems to have resonated with the grandmas and others who have read Grandma's Briefs during the past four years. And this week I learned that my voice has resonated with others beyond grandmas, too.

See, back last year, there was a moment when I was incredibly frustrated by the manner in which I felt grandma bloggers were treated (or ignored) in the bloggy world. So I wrote a post about it, called it The Grandma in a Box. The post was so well received by the readers of Grandma's Briefs that I decided to enter it in the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year, which is a pretty big honor for the bloggers chosen.

And this week I learned that post of mine was named — out of the 2,600 entries — not only a Voices of the Year honoree, but the People's Choice selection in the humor category. (The other categories were Inspiration, Heart and OpEd.)

My voice... among the 100 chosen. My voice... one of four People's Choice winners. My voice... now officially a voice that mattered.

So unexpected, so humbling, so exciting.

All 100 bloggers selected in the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year — including several other midlife voices such as my Generation Fabulous friends Lois Alter Mark, Sandra Sallin, Janie Emaus (a Grilled Grandma!) and Shannon Bradley-Colleary — will be honored at the BlogHer conference July 26 in Chicago. The honor is a big deal, for me and for all the other bloggers named for their voices.

But the honor is a big deal for all grandparent bloggers, too, because my voice — a grandma voice — apparently mattered to folks who are not grandmas, folks who selected the Voices of the Year. Which is huge! That means grandma (and grandpa!) bloggers are finally getting noticed, finally being heard, finally, I hope, being let out of the box.

Not only does my voice matter, our voices matter. And that is what I learned this week, courtesy the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year.

I'm over and out for the week, but I look forward to seeing you again Monday here for the GRAND Social link party for grandparents. It's where you can share your posts — your voice — so I hope you'll join me.

Have a lovely weekend!

Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

Your life... in jelly beans, plus GRAND Social No. 58

Welcome back! Say yay for Monday! And say yeah to using your beans wisely!

Wha... huh?

Food for thought — sweet food for thought — for the start of the new week:

Use your (jelly) beans wisely.

And enjoy the GRAND Social No. 58.

Thank you for joining me!

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, just be a grandparent who blogs.

• To link up a post, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue button marked with "Add your link" below and follow the directions.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.

• Adding a mention such as This post linked to the GRAND Social to your linked posts is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — other bloggers as well as readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

• For another grandparent linky, visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday.

What I learned this week: Beware of bad grandmas

Tuesday night, as I watched the last episode of The Voice (and crossed my fingers Michelle Shamuel or the Swon Brothers would win), I received on my phone a Facebook message. It was a friend alerting me to posts and pictures of my grandson Mac that were being prominently featured on another grandma's Facebook page.

The Facebook page in question isn't that of a friend or a regular reader of Grandma's Briefs. It's a Facebook page unrelated to a blog or website, and it bills itself as dedicated to "grandparents and grandkids."

After checking out what my friend directed me to, it was clear the content was not something I had shared on Facebook, not a "share" from my Grandma's Briefs Facebook page. No, it was my original copyrighted material copied in full from this post. Worse yet, it featured the photo of Mac that went with the post, stolen from this blog and pasted on that Facebook page as if it were their own material. No attribution, no mention of Grandma's Briefs, no admission that it was not their material and not their grandchild they were sharing. (There were, in fact, two of my posts that Facebook page had stolen from this blog, but only the written text from the second.)

Worse yet... that stolen content was being shared and shared and shared across Facebook. My words. My grandson. My post. My copyrighted material. Yet no one seemed to notice that the bad grandma who put it on her page was not the owner of the material, not the grandmother of the precious little boy they all found so cute and shareable.

I was livid. I was literally shaking as I commented on the post on that page, asking the grandma to please remove my content, but more importantly, to remove my grandson's photo from her page. There was no response to my comment on that post requesting it be removed (even though I know she was there as new posts were being added as I steamed), so I had to private message her. Her response — as the sharing from her nearly 25,000 Facebook fans of my post and grandson continued: "...sorry, your pic should have a link or a owner name. ( your mistake, not ours)."

I was appalled at her response, her refusal to accept responsibility for stealing from my blog (as I said, I had not shared the full post on Facebook, ever) and her refusal to completely remove my grandbaby and my copyrighted words from her page.

It took quite a few go-rounds, many private messages from me to those who unwittingly shared stolen property and my grandson's photo, many threats from me to that unethical grandma that I'd be reporting her for copyright infringement before she finally and reluctantly removed my content. After it had been shared across Facebook by nearly 300 of her fans.

Okay, I know my grandson is cute. And my 10 commandments for grandmothers post was a fairly clever one if I say so myself. And ya know what? If that grandma had requested permission from me to post it on her page or had included the fact it was from my site and noted that the photo was my grandson (whose face isn't visible in that photo, thank heavens... it's the one above, just with different text for that stolen post), I probably would not have cared. I probably would have welcomed the request to share my work. But she didn't ask. She came into my house (my blog), stole my stuff (my words and photos), and offered to share it with the world as if it were hers to share.

So very, very wrong. Even more wrong was that she refused to accept responsibility for her actions or apologize for the mistake.

What makes this even worse is that I am not the first person this woman has stolen from in this manner. I have a grandma friend — who shall, at her request, remain anonymous — who experienced the very same thing, sans the photo of a grandchild, luckily. My friend went round and round to have her content removed.

Finally my friend won, the content was removed from that page. Time went by. Then the bad grandma stole content from my friend again, giving no attribution to the owner of the copyrighted material. Oddly and sadly enough, there are other Facebook pages that have done the exact same thing to that exact same grandma friend.

Truly unbelievable. Especially because all the pages that did it are grandmas. Or claim to be.

As I told the bad grandma who stole from me, she should be ashamed of herself and that I hope her grandchildren do not follow her lead. She came back at me with a "no need to get personal," which seemed rather ironic to me because when you steal photos of my grandchild, copy and paste my words/writings/works, that seems quite personal.

I continue to "like" that Facebook page — only so I can keep an eye out for my content, photos of my grandchildren being shared without my permission. It's one thing to "share" something I have placed on Facebook for friends and family, such as you folks, to share; it's entirely another to come to my blog, copy/paste/steal my content then post it on Facebook and pretend it's yours.

So the bottom line, the reason for this long-winded diatribe is to warn you all to beware the bad grandmas who may steal your content and share it on Facebook. I will keep an eye out for your content being shared. I hope you will keep an eye out, too, not only for my content but for that of all the grandmas in our grandmahood, those of us who know each other — even if only online — those of us who have each other's backs.

Together, we must beware of bad grandmas. That, my friends, is what I learned this week.

<heavy sigh>

As I step down from my soap box, I'd like to wish each and every one of you a fantastic weekend. I so very much appreciate you all, and I hope to see you here again come Monday!

Cheers!

Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

Silly sisters, plus GRAND Social No. 57

Welcome back! I hope your weekend warmed your heart.

I wanted to share with you a heartwarming moment from my weekend. The funeral for my cousin on Friday was a difficult affair filled with many tears. Fortunately, the gathering of friends and family afterward included hugs, smiles and unexpected moments to help the healing begin.

I enjoyed one special moment of levity with two of my four sisters — the two who bookend me in birth order, by three years on each side — as Brianna attempted to get a nice photo of the three of us together for the first time in far too long:

 

Sometimes you just gotta smile through the tears. It felt especially good to do exactly that with these two; it would have been even better if our other two sisters had been able to join us. Someday, I hope.

Also today is GRAND Social No. 57. Thank you for joining me. I'm trying out a new link party program, so please let me know if you have any problems with it. Link up, read up, enjoy!

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, just be a grandparent who blogs.

• To link up a post, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue button marked with "Add your link" below and follow the directions.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.

• Adding a mention such as This post linked to the GRAND Social to your linked posts is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — other bloggers as well as readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

• For another grandparent linky, visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday.

An InLinkz Link-up

What I learned this week: Fans make a difference

As the temperature soared to nearly 100 degrees early this week for the first time this season, I complained and complained about not having air-conditioning.

When temps did the same the next day, I pulled from storage our nine fans (some oscillating, some box, some desk top) and placed them strategically around the house. Then Jim went and bought two more (window fans), and we added those to the strategy.

The next day, as the temps rose yet again, I didn't complain about the heat. Because it wasn't all that hot in the house. Because of the fans.

I thought to myself: With the help of fans, I can weather most anything.

Then I considered how true that is — and not just because I have the humming and whirling of fan blades cooling things down throughout my house.

See, it's been a tough week. Not as tough and heartbreaking as what many around me have faced in the last few days, yet still a challenge... for me. I've had two very important writing deadlines to meet in the midst of one of the more trying family times — for myriad reasons — that I've dealt with in a while. There's the heat and my cold that won't go away. And there's the Black Forest Fire, which doesn't affect me directly, but sure affects my heart, soul, and mind at a time that all three seemed at maximum capacity.

Because of the tasks at hand, I've not been online much this week. Not on social media, not on my blog, not on the blogs of others, not reading and answering emails as I should. But every single time I did get online, I'd see something from Grandma's Briefs readers — be it number of visitors to my blog, Facebook updates, emails, tweets, or comments — that would warm my heart, make me smile, emphasize that there are people I've never, ever met who kindly and unselfishly support me and my words. People who are, for want of a better word (because this one sounds so vain, so egotistical), my fans.

Such things I'd see online kept me going, in one way or another. They made a difference. I made it to Friday. I completed (most of) the week's tasks. I met deadlines by Thursday for which I, on Monday, considered requesting extensions. I accomplished the family stuff I set out to do, too. And I even found time to consider and pray and fret about the fire.

So what I learned twice this week is this: With the help of fans, I can weather most anything. I'm incredibly thankful for fans. I'm incredibly thankful for you.

Have a wonderful weekend! I hope to see you on Monday.

(And please do continue to keep those affected by the Black Forest Fire in you thoughts and prayers. Thank you.)

Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

What I learned this week: I must make time for life... offline

 

Summer is upon us and the outdoors beckons. Which is why, after much back and forth, debating and deliberating, I finally learned this week what I must do: I realized/learned/confirmed that I must allow time in my schedule for life... offline.

Making the time for life offline will require some online changes. Changes to my blogging schedule, to be exact. See, I have been publishing a post on Grandma's Briefs every single day since July 25, 2009. Many of you have been reading those daily posts that long, too. Which is so incredible and heartwarming and humbling.

But I think we're all sitting on our butts and staring at screens far too much. I know I am.

So I'm proposing that now that summer has arrived, we not focus on Grandma's Briefs — at least not on the weekends. I'm talking only weekend-long breaks, as I couldn't bear to take a full-fledged summer-long break from blogging; it's in my blood now, and I could not survive without it. I hope you, too, couldn't bear to live without my blogging. (Yes, I do like to flatter myself now and again.)

But weekends, especially in the summer, beckon all of us to get up and move, to do something, to live. So I'm going to do my part this summer and no longer post the scintillating — and, yes, sometimes silly — stuff you've grown to expect in this space on Saturdays and Sundays.

It's going to be hard. My four-year habit will surely be difficult to break. But a break is what we all need. A break that gets us offline. At least on the weekends. At least for the summer.

With that said, consider this post the official notice that you will not find new content on Grandma's Briefs come tomorrow morning. That doesn't mean, of course, that you can't visit here on the weekends, if you choose. Grandma's Briefs will always be open, always welcome one and all who want to visit any day, any time, any page throughout the site. So if you do drop by on a Saturday or Sunday, feel free to catch up on anything you may have missed during the week.

(Of course, you just might see me drop in on the Grandma's Briefs Facebook page on Saturdays and Sundays; just nothing regular or scheduled, for sure.)

Now, as I said, it's going to be be a challenge for me to not share with you over the weekend. Proof being that I already had a doozy of a video to post for my regular Saturday Post feature. So I'm going to share it here today; I simply couldn't wait until Monday for this one.

This video came to my attention courtesy the awesome women at Better After 50. I hope it makes you chuckle as much as it did me.

With that in mind, I hope you'll remember come tomorrow that there will be nothing new happening here on Grandma's Briefs until early Monday morning. I hope I will remember that, too.

I'm pretty sure I will remember, though — because it's what I need.

And that is what I learned this week.

Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

Joe Cocker kicks off the GRAND Social

Today the inimitable Joe Cocker turns 68 years old. In consideration of his birthday as well as the general spirit of our weekly link party here on Grandma's Briefs, I'd say the following song is the perfect way to kick off the new week, the ideal complement to yet another GRAND Social:

Happy birthday to Mr. Cocker! Happy GRAND Social to my friends! Cheers and thank you for joining me.

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

• To link up, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post and graphic to the list.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky. And no contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.

• Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — bloggers and readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

• Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday.

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social!