Grandma performance review

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As a former employee and supervisor, I’ve received and given many a performance review in my day. Because I’m no longer employed in a full-time job, I’ve done neither in quite a while.

Time for that to change.

Today I work both ends of the review process — giving and receiving a review for myself in the highly coveted position of Grandma, using the performance evaluation document of a former employer as my guide.

Performance Recognition and Planning Guide

Name: Lisa

Position: Gramma to Bubby

Date of hire: 6/2008

Date of this review: 2/2011

Rating Scale:

5Exceptional

4Exceeds Standards

3Meets Standards

2Needs Improvement

1Unsatisfactory

Achievements — Lisa is efficient in the position, regularly researching ways to forge a strong relationship with Bubby despite the miles between them. She’s arranged many visits to the desert, even in light of a dwindling bank account. She’s also learned to Skype, use Picasa, blog with abandon, use USPS and UPS to her advantage. In addition, she depends on regular telephone communication with her daughter and grandson despite hating the telephone. Rating: 4

Ownership — Lisa takes full ownership of her position as Gramma, never shirking the name or duties involved. She takes pride in the position, sometimes to the extreme, not wanting to share the title with others. Rating: 4

Results — Bubby has no doubt who Gramma is and delights in his time with her. During Skype sessions, Bubby most wants to view toys, cars, and trucks PawDad shares with him instead of the picture books Lisa shares, making it clear more enjoyable books need to be chosen or Lisa needs to steal the cars and truck from PawDad and show them to Bubby herself. Rating: 3

Teamwork — Lisa works well with PawDad, her partner in grandparenting. Excepting, of course, her desire to steal Matchbox emergency vehicles during Skype sessions. Rating: 3

Communication — See “Achievements.” Rating: 4

Initiative — Lisa is proactive in problem solving when it comes to finding new ways to engage Bubby, in person or long-distance. Rating: 4

Skills — Lisa demonstrates a high-level of long-distance ability, regularly making use of ideas and activities offered up by fellow grandparent bloggers. She needs (and desires) more face time with Bubby in order to improve her skills and efficiency in one-on-one situations with the grandchild. Rating: 4

Dependability — Regardless of day, distance or dollars involved, Lisa will do anything and everything for Bubby. Rating: 4

Overall Rating = 3.75 Meets/Nearly Exceeds Standards

A supervisor once told me that although I was doing an excellent job, corporate policy prevented her from granting me a 5 on the scale as that would mean I’m as good as can be, leaving no room to strive for improvement. At the time, I considered it a bunch of hooey from tight-fisted executives who didn’t want to pay the higher salary due those rating at the top in reviews.

Now in my position as Grandma, I understand the policy of not earning a 5. I’m not as good as it gets and I surely want to continue to improve. Not in hopes of earning a bigger paycheck but with the goal of improving my performance in one of the most important positions I’ve held yet — Gramma to Bubby ... plus soon to be Birdy and countless other grandchildren to come.

Today’s question:

Using the numbered Ratings Scale above, how do you rate your performance in one of your current positions, personal or professional?

Word of the day: DELIGHT

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Definition of DELIGHT, from Mirriam-Webster.com
1: a high degree of gratification: joy; also: extreme satisfaction
2: something that gives great pleasure (Example: Her performance was a delight.)
3 archaic: the power of affording pleasure

Definition of DELIGHT, from Bubby
1: a slide ... any where, any time, any day of the week. Example:

Today's question:

When did you last experience delight, by any definition?

Shattered illusions

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When I visited Bubby earlier this month, it took no time at all for my illusion of him to be shattered.

You see, Megan shares photos of Bubby all the time, and we Skype fairly regularly (except for the last few weeks when Megan's computer's been on the fritz). Because of the photos and the Skype sessions, I've been led to believe that Bubby's a big boy.

But he's not. And I learned that right away.

When I landed in the desert, Preston picked me up from the airport and we drove the nearly one hour to their house, where Bubby and Megan awaited my arrival. Preston pulled in the garage, we got out, the door to the house opened, and I heard gleeful calls from Bubby and Megan as I headed to the trunk to collect my things. I couldn't see Bubby, but I heard the pitter-patter of his bare feet coming around the back of the car to greet me.

Then he made it around the corner of the car ... and stopped me in my tracks. For standing before me wasn't the big boy I had expected to greet me, but an itsy-bitsy munchkin.

Instantly, my fear that Bubby had grown so much since I'd last held him that I'd no longer be able to hold him vanished. Instantly, the idea that the camera adds 10 pounds became a reality -- a reality multiplied to seem like even more considering those 10 pounds were added to a barely-over-30-pound frame.

Yes, Bubby may act like a big boy and look like a big boy in photos, but he's still so very much -- as his mom calls him -- a peanut.

A peanut that is just over 30 inches tall -- still quite short of a yardstick.

A peanut that can barely reach the door handles throughout the house.

A peanut whose head only slightly rises above the top of the bathtub when bathing.

A peanut that is just one little-boy-head taller than the average-sized golden retriever.

Even though photos -- including those I took myself so I know they're not Photoshopped -- make Bubby look long and large, I know now it's an illusion, that my grandson is not a big boy.

Truly, my grandson is a peanut.

But that's just fine with me because he's a peanut this grandma can easily lift to see into the display case when choosing from the 31 flavors at the ice cream parlor.

A peanut this grandma can easily carry up the long flight of stairs to his bedroom after he falls asleep in the car.

A peanut this grandma has no trouble holding up to the mirror so together we can laugh at his funky robot hat.

A peanut this grandma can easily lift from the bathtub, wrap in a towel, and carry to his bed for pajama time.

A peanut that easily fits in this grandma's lap for hugging and rocking and reading bedtime stories.

There's no way around it: Bubby is a peanut. And that's okay. Because this grandma is huge lover of peanuts.

Especially peanuts that go by the name of Bubby.

Today's question:

What is your favorite food featuring peanuts?

Teachable moments

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With a mom who's a teacher and a grandma who's always wanting to see how darn smart the kid is, Bubby spends a lot of time singing his ABCs, identifying the sounds of animals, discussing new words, and counting.

Sometimes he gets tired of it.

Sometimes he does it his own way -- regardless of what Mommy and Gramma want him to do.

Little stinker. Seems he used his wit, charm and burgeoning sense of humor to teach Mommy and Gramma a thing or two about laying off the teaching now and then.

(And, yes, his cough is atrocious. Strep, flu, crud all around for the always cheerful little trooper.)

Today's question:

What is the most recent thing you taught someone -- a co-worker, family member, child, friend, animal?

Emergency in the desert

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Emergencies in the desert are far different than the ones I'm used to in the mountains. Monday morning, there were a few hours to kill before I had to return to the airport and hop a plane back to the mountains. Preston had left for work, and Megan, Bubby and I were relaxing, chit-chatting over this and that and some coffee.

Bubby had just commenced looking one more time at the "There's Going to be a Baby" book from my Grandma Bag when, all of a sudden, he let out a screech, pushed the book away, jumped up from his spot on the floor, and raced to the front door as if a fire alarm only he could hear had just gone off.

But Megan apparently heard it, too. She jumped up from her chair and followed Bubby, shouting, "We gotta hurry! Look out the window! Bubby ... here ... out the window." She pulled open the living room blinds as Bubby, far too short to see out the window, became visibly distressed.

Then Megan grabbed up Bubby -- who danced nervously, unsure of what to do and nearly pawing at the front door -- and quickly unlocked one deadbolt on the front door, then the other. She threw open the door and, with Bubby firmly in her arms, raced out onto the porch.

Where they stopped in their tracks.

And looked down the street.

"The garbage truck!" Megan shouted in glee, and Bubby heartily seconded her exclamation.

Then they both froze and patiently waited as the rumble and roar of the garbage truck became louder and louder and finally -- halleluiah! -- stopped right across the street.

The garbage man did his duty as Megan and Bubby stood transfixed.

Slowly, the banging and clanging truck scooted up to the next house. Then the next. Bubby's eyes never left the glorious garbage hauler -- the most wondrous thing in his world.

As it continued on its route, past Bubby's house, past the neighbor's, Bubby and Megan waved.

"Buh-bye, Garbage Truck!" they said as the rumbling and bumbling vehicle headed up the block and out of sight.

And me? All I could do -- after grabbing my camera to capture the emergency in action, of course -- was think Thank God. Yes, thank God such a thing didn't happen while I was the one and only adult in charge of Bubby. For I have never, ever experienced such an emergency. Not in the mountains ... especially not in a houseful of non-garbage-truck-loving little girls.

If I had been the sole adult when the seemingly silent alarm went off in Bubby's head, I surely would not have known what to do.

Hard as it is to admit, I must say that Megan and Preston returned home to relieve Gramma of her Bubby duty just in the nick of time. Clearly, a disaster averted.

Today's question:

If you were to look out your front door right this very minute, what would you see happening out there?