The grandma in a box

This post was named People's Choice in the humor category in the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year.

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A STORY:

Once upon a time there was a woman.

Who had a husband.

And three daughters.

Plus one house, two cats, two dogs, and an addiction to collecting books and pictures of people she loved.

And she had a writing job that had nothing—yet everything—to do with all of the above that she loved.

She liked rock music, independent films, and playing games with her friends—which was usually paired with a wee bit of drinking, too, whiskey or beer but never, ever umbrella drinks of any sort.

The woman also liked learning new things, especially when it came to computers, cameras, cooking and cantatas.

(She also really liked alliteration, so cantatas worked far better in that sentence than piano.)

The woman loved her mom, her dad, her brothers and sisters. She loved Jesus and America, too—as well as stories and songs that turned her heart inside out.

The woman liked the things most women do. No matter what their age.

Eventually the woman’s daughters grew up and flew away. One got married and had two sons.

Which made the woman a grandma. Yet another thing she loved.

So the woman added to her writing job, writing about those grandsons. Writing about them online—along with lots of other things she'd write about—on a blog.

Which was confusing to some.

It wasn't the writing on the blog that confused some, it was the being a grandma. Grandmas are old and know nothing about being online. Or anything interesting at all, for that matter. Grandmas rock in rocking chairs, they hug and kiss their grandkids, they pull up their gray hair into buns. Maybe they crochet. But that's pretty much it.

At least that's what it seemed some non-grandma bloggers thought of grandma bloggers. They’re only grandmas. They’re old. They’re boring. And they’re invisible if there's the G-word in their name, the G-word in their game.

Once a grandma,only a grandma, they thought.

Some unenlightened brands, bloggy networks, and PR folks seemed to think the same thing, too.

If they even thought of grandmas at all.

Other grandmas understood. Other grandma bloggers really understood—even those who didn’t write specifically about their grandchildren, about being a grandma.

The other grandmas understood because all of the grandmas, online and off, were put in the very same box. Were trying to get out of the same box. Together were saying, HEY, you meanies who squished us up into this uncomfortable GRANDMA box: We want out! We love our grandkids way beyond words, but they’re not all we love. Can’t you see we are so much more than grandmas? Can’t you see we are all that we were before? Can't you see that we are now all that AND a bag of potato chips, er, grandmas!

But the non-grandmas didn’t see any of that. They didn't see the woman and her fellow grandmas pounding on the box. All they saw was the word GRANDMA. And the box.

If they saw anything at all.

Every once in a while, someone did see something at all. Mostly it was just the word GRANDMA, though, and they thought the boxed-up grandmas would be happy as clams to talk about canes and assisted living centers and denture cream and gadgets that help them when they’ve fallen and can’t get up.

Those non-grandmas didn’t realize grandmas can and do get up. On their own. And they get down, too. That they're still vibrant and relevant. That they still love music. Still have jobs that have nothing to do with being a grandma, yet love the job of being a grandma, too. They still have spouses and daughters and sons and parents and brothers and sisters and animals and friends and interests.

And that they do all the very same things they did before they became grandmas.

They even—gasp!—still have S-E-X.

And they still talk about and write about things that matter, with people and for people who matter.

So that woman who was now a grandma but still had a husband and three daughters and still really loved all sorts of things non-grandmas think grandmas shouldn't or couldn't like decided to write about being stuck in the GRANDMA box.

In hopes others might see her and her grandma friends in there and let them out.

Or…perhaps they might do nothing at all.

But at least that grandma who loves, loves, loves being a grandma yet is so much more than a grandma would have her say.

Then she ended her plea for release from the GRANDMA box with an oh-so cute photo of her grandsons. Simply because she could.

And to further confuse those non-grandmas who Just. Don't. Get. It. 

THE END

Today's question:

Anyone second that emotion?

GRAND Social — Grandparent linky — July 2

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. We're so glad you could attend. Come inside! Come inside! — Karn Evil 9 by Emerson, Lake & Palmer

Welcome back my friends to the GRAND Social linky just for grandparents. Time again to link up as well as read up on the posts of fellow grandparents around the web. My grandsons have headed home, and I'm looking forward to catching up on posts I surely missed from my favorite fellow grandparent bloggers. I hope you'll join me.

How it works:

  • All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.
  • Posts shared can be an old one or a recent one, your choice. I like to link up to older posts that current readers likely haven't seen.
  • To link up, copy the direct link to the specific post you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post to the list.
  • You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky.
  • No contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites.
  • Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social blogging event, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button using the following code:

Grandma’sBriefs.com

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

 

  • The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.
  • If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. All bloggers who link up would be honored to have you click, visit, read and comment.

READERS and PARTICIPATING BLOGGERS: Please visit the posts others have linked to by clicking on the thumbnail photos. Comments are always appreciated by the bloggers whose links you visit, even if it's simply "Hey, stopping by from GRAND Social."

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social grandparent linky!

The boys are back in town

I haven't worked a full-time job in more than four years. It's not because I'm retired, as I'm still far, far away from retirement age. No, I don't have a full-time job simply because, well, that's just the way things have worked out since my department and my job at the local newspaper were axed in late 2008.

Sometimes it really stinks that I don't have a full-time job. Like when I gaze into the dark and echoing chambers of my barren bank account.

Other times, though, it's pretty awesome that I don't have a full-time job. Like when Preston—my son-in-law—has a work conference he wants Megan to attend with him, and they need someone to care for Bubby and Mac while they're away. As someone who doesn't work full time and can carry the work I do any place I can carry my computer, I am fortunate to most often be the go-to grandma for the job.

Which, like I said, is pretty awesome.

That exact sort of awesomeness begins today, as I will once again be on grandma duty for my faraway grandsons. Only this time, it just so happens that Preston's conference is in my very own city, so instead of me flying to their house to take care of them while Mommy and Daddy go away, Bubby and Mac will fly to Gramma's house—to my house—for me to take care of them while Mommy and Daddy play conference just a few miles away.

Awesome indeed. Especially because this time, since we'll be at home in the mountains, not away in the desert, PawDad gets to join in the fun. Same goes for Aunt Brianna and Aunt Andie, when their schedules allow.

Usually when I'm on grandma duty, I stay on blogging duty, too. I write up posts and I publish something new for the Grandma's Briefs readers each day.

This time I'm not doing that.

This time, I'm taking a bit of a break from blogging while playing full-time grandma. Just a bit of a break, though, as I will still publish something each day on Grandma's Briefs, only it won't be a written post. It will be a photo post, a picture of the goings-on at Gramma's while the boys are back in town. I'll include a daily question, too, because that's just what I do...and because I like to read your answers to those daily questions. Daily. Just like I hope you like to visit me. Daily.

So, I will be posting daily, checking comments daily, thinking of my online friends daily. Just in smaller doses, as the majority of my time over the next ten days will be dedicated to showing my grandsons a good time. To be honest and accurate, though, I'll actually be doing those online things nightly rather than daily, as I'll have to wait until the boys are tucked into bed.

I'm sure you understand.

And I'm doubly sure I'll have lots to fill you in on once I return to blogging full force.

One quick note before I go, though: I will still host the GRAND Social on Monday and post a new Grilled Grandma feature on Wednesday. I do hope you'll visit for both, enjoy both.

So there you have it. Wish me luck!

My ten days of Grandma Duty begins ...

right ...

now!

Today's question:

What's the longest period of time you've been off the grid (off line) in the past few years?

Tooting my horn

Baby Mac & Bubby: The reason for Grandma's BriefsI don't often toot my own horn, but today I'm going to do just that. For you, the readers of Grandma's Briefs. Honest.

I realized as I wrote my most recent post for Grandma's Back Room that many of you may not even know a Back Room exists here on Grandma's Briefs. Which is unfortunate because there's some good stuff there, if I say so myself, including holiday posts on this and that.

There's also some great holiday content in the News to Use tab, a tab many of you may have never clicked on. The same can be said about a couple other spots here on Grandma's Briefs, places you may not know exist.

So today I'm going to toot my own horn and direct you to some of the lesser known spots on my site, starting with those that have holiday content—features meant for this season of all things shiny and bright.

For starters there is, of course, the Grandma's Briefs Holiday Guide. It's a rundown of some nifty gift suggestions, based on items I've received the last few months. It's not every item I've gotten for review, just some of those I sincerely thought would make a great gift for someone or another. (There used to be giveaways in the Holiday Guide, too, but those are done, over, awarded. The early holiday birds definitely got the worm there.)

Another spot for holiday news is, fittingly, my News to Use tab. Most recently—meaning yesterday—I added some great gift suggestions that might help you finish up the last of your holiday shopping. Or, if you're like my husband, get started on it.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, Grandma's Back Room is a great spot for holiday content, too. It's the place I typically post all my reviews, giveaways, sponsored posts (that still have a personal bent despite my being paid to write them) and, one of my favorite things in the Back Room, the posts I write in hopes of winning awesome prizes for myself. Check out the top post in the Back Room to see what I mean.

For holiday content of a more culinary sort, check out my Recipe Box. It's filled with goodies I've made for years, many for Christmas as well as other holidays...and regular days. (You can also get an easy rundown of only the holiday recipes I've shared on my site at the bottom of the aforementioned Holiday Guide.)

Outside of recipes, news, and reviews—holiday-related or otherwise—you can find the best of the best ideas and anecdotes from grandmothers around the globe by clicking on the tab for the Grilled Grandma archives; awesome shots of my glorious grandsons in the Brag Book; more than you ever cared to know about me by clicking on, crazy as it may seem, the About tab; and links to some of my favorite places online in Links I Love. (By the way, if your blog isn't listed as a link I love, please don't take offense...I'm woefully behind in updating, so if you want to be there, please just say so).

Speaking of archives, you can always click on the link marked "Click for archives by month" in the sidebar to the right to find every single post I've published on the front page of this site since its inception in July of 2009.

There you have it: My horn-tooting, just for you! Enjoy...and feel free to toot back what you find interesting, awesome, silly, or sick ("sick" meaning nauseating or cool, your choice). Or, let me know what you think is missing on Grandma's Briefs and what you'd like to see more of. I appreciate the feedback.

Thanks for indulging me in this rooting, tooting good time!

Today's question (from The Christmas Conversation Piece):

What gift have you wanted for years but still haven't received?

The blogger(s) I'll never be

This photo has nothing to do with the post. Baby Mac and Bubby are just so darn cute, though, I couldn't help but share. That's what we grandma bloggers do.

I'm a grandma blogger. And although I may not be the Pioneer Woman or Dooce of grandma blogging, this is my niche and it fits me quite well. Mostly because there is no other kind of blogger I could be.

I could never be a food blogger because even though I'm a pretty good cook, I don't cook fancy. And I don't take fancy photos of my non-fancy food, either.

I could never be a photography blogger because I really kind of stink at taking photos. Not because of the subjects (of course!) but because I need instruction on setting up awesome shots. Or using Photoshop to fix the not-so-awesome shots. If nothing else, I need a new camera.

I could never be a fitness blogger because, well, I'd need to be fit. And I'm not. And not all that passionate about becoming so.

I could never be a tech blogger because I don't know <cuss> about tech stuff like HTML and trackbacks and, well, I don't know what I don't know when it comes to tech so I can't even tell you what I don't know. Which is why I use Squarespace for my non-tech blog.

I could never be an arts & entertainment blogger because I'm not hip or cool or in the know on anything arts or entertainment related. I just know what I like when it comes to books, movies, music and all things artsy...and most of that I've been directed to by other bloggers. Or Entertainment Weekly magazine.

I could never be a coupon/rebate/thrifty blogger because I hate having to deal with coupons. At least those used at the grocery store. Not so much because I hate coupons but because I hate grocery shopping. Which I've mentioned before. I could maybe be a coupon code blogger because I'm pretty good at finding the codes...when absolutely necessary.

I could never be a fashion blogger because, well, have you seen how I dress? Or wear my hair? Or apply my makeup? 'Nuff said.

I could never be a pet blogger because although I love my dogs and cats oh-so much, I really suck at sounding all sweet and cutesy about them. I'd be more of the Go The F**K To Sleep kind of writer if focusing on my dogs, which would leave me in a quandary since I never (well, nearly never) use the F-word...in real life or in print. Especially not on my blog. Which is making me want to delete that book title. But I won't.

But of all the bloggers I could never ever be, the past few days with Bubby and Baby Mac have made it clear that never in a million and three lifetimes would I have made it as a mommy blogger. My time with my grandsons has given me a new respect for mommy bloggers. Because, truly, I don't know how they do it and still manage to keep a household going and their children growing safe and sound and secure in themselves. I'm not the mom, but I've been playing a backup one in the desert for just a few days now, and, let me tell ya, blogging is the very last thing I have time for and being creative with posts is the very last thing I have mind for.

Which is why you've gotten only this rambling list as today's post. I don't know how the mommy bloggers do it.

Let's just say I'll be sticking with the grandma blogger gig. The title—and the typically no-longer-responsible-for-the-hard-part-of-parenting lifestyle that accompanies it—fits this tired ol' out-of-shape and makeup-less me quite well.

Today's question:

If you could become Pioneer-Woman-level successful in any blogging niche, what would you most like to blog about (regardless of real-life talent, ability, or knowledge)?