The grandma in a box

This post was named People's Choice in the humor category in the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year.

BH13_VotYSelected_150x150.jpg
Grandma in a box.jpg

A STORY:

Once upon a time there was a woman.

Who had a husband.

And three daughters.

Plus one house, two cats, two dogs, and an addiction to collecting books and pictures of people she loved.

And she had a writing job that had nothing—yet everything—to do with all of the above that she loved.

She liked rock music, independent films, and playing games with her friends—which was usually paired with a wee bit of drinking, too, whiskey or beer but never, ever umbrella drinks of any sort.

The woman also liked learning new things, especially when it came to computers, cameras, cooking and cantatas.

(She also really liked alliteration, so cantatas worked far better in that sentence than piano.)

The woman loved her mom, her dad, her brothers and sisters. She loved Jesus and America, too—as well as stories and songs that turned her heart inside out.

The woman liked the things most women do. No matter what their age.

Eventually the woman’s daughters grew up and flew away. One got married and had two sons.

Which made the woman a grandma. Yet another thing she loved.

So the woman added to her writing job, writing about those grandsons. Writing about them online—along with lots of other things she'd write about—on a blog.

Which was confusing to some.

It wasn't the writing on the blog that confused some, it was the being a grandma. Grandmas are old and know nothing about being online. Or anything interesting at all, for that matter. Grandmas rock in rocking chairs, they hug and kiss their grandkids, they pull up their gray hair into buns. Maybe they crochet. But that's pretty much it.

At least that's what it seemed some non-grandma bloggers thought of grandma bloggers. They’re only grandmas. They’re old. They’re boring. And they’re invisible if there's the G-word in their name, the G-word in their game.

Once a grandma,only a grandma, they thought.

Some unenlightened brands, bloggy networks, and PR folks seemed to think the same thing, too.

If they even thought of grandmas at all.

Other grandmas understood. Other grandma bloggers really understood—even those who didn’t write specifically about their grandchildren, about being a grandma.

The other grandmas understood because all of the grandmas, online and off, were put in the very same box. Were trying to get out of the same box. Together were saying, HEY, you meanies who squished us up into this uncomfortable GRANDMA box: We want out! We love our grandkids way beyond words, but they’re not all we love. Can’t you see we are so much more than grandmas? Can’t you see we are all that we were before? Can't you see that we are now all that AND a bag of potato chips, er, grandmas!

But the non-grandmas didn’t see any of that. They didn't see the woman and her fellow grandmas pounding on the box. All they saw was the word GRANDMA. And the box.

If they saw anything at all.

Every once in a while, someone did see something at all. Mostly it was just the word GRANDMA, though, and they thought the boxed-up grandmas would be happy as clams to talk about canes and assisted living centers and denture cream and gadgets that help them when they’ve fallen and can’t get up.

Those non-grandmas didn’t realize grandmas can and do get up. On their own. And they get down, too. That they're still vibrant and relevant. That they still love music. Still have jobs that have nothing to do with being a grandma, yet love the job of being a grandma, too. They still have spouses and daughters and sons and parents and brothers and sisters and animals and friends and interests.

And that they do all the very same things they did before they became grandmas.

They even—gasp!—still have S-E-X.

And they still talk about and write about things that matter, with people and for people who matter.

So that woman who was now a grandma but still had a husband and three daughters and still really loved all sorts of things non-grandmas think grandmas shouldn't or couldn't like decided to write about being stuck in the GRANDMA box.

In hopes others might see her and her grandma friends in there and let them out.

Or…perhaps they might do nothing at all.

But at least that grandma who loves, loves, loves being a grandma yet is so much more than a grandma would have her say.

Then she ended her plea for release from the GRANDMA box with an oh-so cute photo of her grandsons. Simply because she could.

And to further confuse those non-grandmas who Just. Don't. Get. It. 

THE END

Today's question:

Anyone second that emotion?

Story time: Good Day, Bad Day

Open communication with your grandkids matters immensely and is always worth encouraging any way you can. Here is a brief story I wrote, for you to share with the little ones in your life to initiate conversations about their days.

 

Good Day, Bad Day


 

Watching the clouds, imagining shapes,
Visiting the zoo and acting like apes.
Bad day?
Good day!

 



Falling at school, getting scratched up and bruised,
Having mud splashed on your favorite new shoes.
Good day?
Bad day!

 


Being picked leader for the day in your class,
Finding a ladybug deep in the grass.
Bad day?
Good day!

 


Riding your bike when the tire goes flat,
Then the wind blows away your favorite hat.
Good day?
Bad day!

 


Presents from Grandma that came in the mail,
Watching the boat you made take off and sail.
Bad day?
Good day!

 


Losing a fight with your older brother,
Tearing the picture you colored for Mother.
Good day?
Bad day!

 



Getting a shot and feeling no pain,
Seeing a rainbow after the rain.
Bad day?
Good day!


Days can be happy and days can be sad.
Good day or bad day—which have you had?

 

©Lisa Carpenter/art: Microsoft images

Today's question:

Good days or bad? Which have you most recently had?

Tooting my horn

Baby Mac & Bubby: The reason for Grandma's BriefsI don't often toot my own horn, but today I'm going to do just that. For you, the readers of Grandma's Briefs. Honest.

I realized as I wrote my most recent post for Grandma's Back Room that many of you may not even know a Back Room exists here on Grandma's Briefs. Which is unfortunate because there's some good stuff there, if I say so myself, including holiday posts on this and that.

There's also some great holiday content in the News to Use tab, a tab many of you may have never clicked on. The same can be said about a couple other spots here on Grandma's Briefs, places you may not know exist.

So today I'm going to toot my own horn and direct you to some of the lesser known spots on my site, starting with those that have holiday content—features meant for this season of all things shiny and bright.

For starters there is, of course, the Grandma's Briefs Holiday Guide. It's a rundown of some nifty gift suggestions, based on items I've received the last few months. It's not every item I've gotten for review, just some of those I sincerely thought would make a great gift for someone or another. (There used to be giveaways in the Holiday Guide, too, but those are done, over, awarded. The early holiday birds definitely got the worm there.)

Another spot for holiday news is, fittingly, my News to Use tab. Most recently—meaning yesterday—I added some great gift suggestions that might help you finish up the last of your holiday shopping. Or, if you're like my husband, get started on it.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, Grandma's Back Room is a great spot for holiday content, too. It's the place I typically post all my reviews, giveaways, sponsored posts (that still have a personal bent despite my being paid to write them) and, one of my favorite things in the Back Room, the posts I write in hopes of winning awesome prizes for myself. Check out the top post in the Back Room to see what I mean.

For holiday content of a more culinary sort, check out my Recipe Box. It's filled with goodies I've made for years, many for Christmas as well as other holidays...and regular days. (You can also get an easy rundown of only the holiday recipes I've shared on my site at the bottom of the aforementioned Holiday Guide.)

Outside of recipes, news, and reviews—holiday-related or otherwise—you can find the best of the best ideas and anecdotes from grandmothers around the globe by clicking on the tab for the Grilled Grandma archives; awesome shots of my glorious grandsons in the Brag Book; more than you ever cared to know about me by clicking on, crazy as it may seem, the About tab; and links to some of my favorite places online in Links I Love. (By the way, if your blog isn't listed as a link I love, please don't take offense...I'm woefully behind in updating, so if you want to be there, please just say so).

Speaking of archives, you can always click on the link marked "Click for archives by month" in the sidebar to the right to find every single post I've published on the front page of this site since its inception in July of 2009.

There you have it: My horn-tooting, just for you! Enjoy...and feel free to toot back what you find interesting, awesome, silly, or sick ("sick" meaning nauseating or cool, your choice). Or, let me know what you think is missing on Grandma's Briefs and what you'd like to see more of. I appreciate the feedback.

Thanks for indulging me in this rooting, tooting good time!

Today's question (from The Christmas Conversation Piece):

What gift have you wanted for years but still haven't received?

Words, regurgitated

Today is my first full day visiting with Baby Mac, Bubby, and Megan and playing Gramma, so I figured I'd take the easy way out for the day and simply re-run my posts from last week. All of them...except the Grilled Grandma and those from Saturday and Sunday. Only in different form.

So here ya go—last week's posts regurgitated, by way of Wordle:

I'll have fresh words for you tomorrow. I promise.

Today's question:

What else from last week will repeat for you this week?