Old enough to be a grandma

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Gramma Bubby hugs.jpg
 

I often come across women who eschew being called "Grandma." As they put it, they're "not old enough to be a grandma," the distaste heavy on their lips, on their words as they offer the disclaimer accompanying the label.

Well, I am old enough to be a grandma, and it doesn't bother me one bit. Having accumulated the number of years necessary to have borne children who in turn grow, mature and bear children of their own comes with many perks, many privileges, many insights younger women may not be privy to.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I no longer feel it's necessary to sort out my past for the sake of my future. What's done is done, what will be will be. I'm living my future ... and it's far better than I once expected.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I can delight in my daughters as adults, not just worry about them as children.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I know it can happen to me. Invincibility is an illusion of youth; reality rings harder and louder as you age. Which means I always wear my seat belt, take vitamins, look both ways. And I savor the moments granted by my precautionary measures.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I trust my gut instinct more. I finally realize it's right more often than not.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I more deeply appreciate and more thoroughly understand the importance of "I'm sorry." And "thank you."

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I find contentment more often in the small things, have stopped pining for the big things. For the most part.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I no longer stifle my feelings simply to keep others comfortable.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I find truth — sometimes ugly, sometimes freeing — in discomfort. Mine and that of others.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I forfeit the beauty competition, having accepted that I will never again look like I did at 18 nor will I ever look like a moneyed celebrity. (One of those freeing truths mentioned above.)

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I put more effort into accepting others for who they are, less effort in trying to make them who I want them to be.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I like my siblings more than I used to.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I say "I love you" more often ... without hesitation or embarrassment.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I am a grandma. I'm proud to say so, proud to be so.

Now that I'm old enough to be a grandma, I feel thoroughly, thankfully blessed and will gladly take the title — and the years — over the alternative.

Today's question:

Fill in the blanks: Now that I'm old enough to _______, I ___________.

Wherein Birdy is shot down

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This is NOT an injured bird, just a baby bird.As many of you know, I call my soon-to-be-born second grandson, brother to Bubby, Birdy. At least here on my blog.

Megan called Friday to chit-chat and, after a bit, she told me that Bubby had chosen a new name for his baby brother. All morning long, she said, Bubby had been calling the baby, for some unknown reason, "Wacky Mac."

"So I was thinking, that's what you could call the baby on your blog, Mom," she said, "instead of Birdy."

"Wacky Mac?" I asked.

"No, you can't call him Wacky Mac. But I was thinking Mac. Since Bubby picked out that name. Instead of Birdy."

I told Megan I couldn't call the baby Mac because I have an Uncle Mac, so that name is already taken. In my mind, at least.

To which my formerly-hesitant-to-hurt-anyone's-feelings-with-her-words-but-now-never-minces-them-ever daughter replied: "But we hate Birdy, Mom! We detest Birdy! Even <friend who reads this blog> asked 'What's up with Birdy?'"

Okay. I get it. Megan hates, no, detests the name Birdy. And because I don't want to write about my grandson in a manner that his mother detests, I hereby cave. Going forward, my second grandson's name — for blogging purposes, at least — will be Mac.

To Megan: Consider it done.

To Uncle Mac: I'm sorry, but you're now in second place in my mind when thinking of Mac. Baby Mac he'll likely be for a while. But still, you're no longer the No. 1 Mac. I'm sorry.

To Birdy: I'm sorry to you, too, for you will no longer be known as Birdy. You will be Mac. Except in secret. A secret we'll keep between us. So if I ever accidentally let the name Birdy slip from my lips to your ears, Baby Mac, please, whatever you do, do not tell your mother. Like I said, it'll be our secret. And it will be the one and only time I ask you to keep a secret from your mom. I promise, Baby Birdy, er, I mean Baby Mac.

Gah! I'll get used to it. I promise.

And I'll love him regardless of name. I promise.

Photo: stock.xchng

Today's question:

What is your favorite macaroni dish? (Sorry, Meg, had to do it just once!)

Guest post: Grandparents can be fun AND consistent

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“Mommy lets me stay up late”: How you can have fun and be consistent as a grandparent

by Mary Albert

Grandparenting is a lot of fun. I have a great time with my grandchildren when they come to visit, no matter what we end up doing. Even a lazy day around the house becomes much more entertaining when you’ve got kids to keep you busy.

I struggled, at first, because I didn’t know the rules and etiquette of being a grandparent. I have learned a few things, though, and it has made a world of difference.

I guarantee the first time that I kept my oldest grandson, David, overnight he was old enough to pull the ‘but Mommy lets me’ routine, and I was gullible enough to fall for it. I wanted to be fun, after all, and I didn’t realize that it was a bad thing. I learned quickly that this is NOT the way to do things.

You have to be consistent and make sure that you follow the rules that the parents have set forth. Not only was David not allowed to stay up past 8:00 on Fridays (he was 7 at the time), but there were other rules I accidentally broke during that visit as well. There wasn’t any permanent damage, but I did create a little tension with my daughter that could have been avoided.

You’re a grandparent and it’s supposed to be fun. However, kids need structure and they need to respect you. If you give into their every whim and don’t follow the rules that their parents have, you’re going to create a difficult situation for yourself and the kids.

I still give my grandkids cookies before dinner and take them to get ice cream for no reason at all, but I do try to follow the basic rules that my daughters have set out for them so that I don’t get the kids too spoiled.

Trust me; it’s better to be a fun grandparent that follows the rules than to have grandkids who are too spoiled to really appreciate your time together.

Mary Albert is a blogger for a senior lifestyle web site that provides advice for the 55+ age group as well as information on medical alert systems.

Photo: stock.xchng

Today's question:

What rule(s) do you break on a regular basis, with grandkids or otherwise?

15 things I look forward to as a grandma

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As a relatively new grandma — and a long-distance one at that — I often feel like I've yet to get the full grandma experience. I've not yet had the joy of many activities, events and more that I hear about from other grandmas.

Typical grandma happenings I've heard about, that I look forward to experiencing include (but are far from limited to):

• Pre-holiday activities with the grandchildren: coloring Easter eggs, carving Jack-o-lanterns, trimming the Christmas tree.

• Attending school programs.

• "Thank you, Gramma" phone calls, e-mails, cards.

• Impromptu visits to Gramma's house.

• Working together in Gramma's pumpkin patch.

• Taking a youngster shopping for the perfect gift for Mom and Dad.

• Grandparents Day at school.

• Being introduced by a grandchild to his or her friends.

• Grandma camp.

• Picnics.

• Scary stories in the dark.

• Family vacations.

• Stargazing.

• Artwork to display on Gramma's fridge.

• Phone calls just to say "hello."

I've had incredible visits and awesome moments with Bubby. He's touched my heart like nothing before. I'm just eager for more. I look forward to more — from him and from all my grandchildren I've yet to meet.

Today's question:

What are you looking forward to, personally, professionally or otherwise?

Shared pleasures and treasures

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As grandparents, I think it's important to not only explore and enjoy the interests of the grandchild — like the hours we recently dedicated to trucks, Bubby's favorite thing in the world — but also for grandparents to share their interests with the grandchild. Sharing such things strengthens the grandparent/grandchild bond as the youngster learns more about what makes his grandparents tick. Depending on the interest, it also can lead to a lifelong shared interest, shared joy.

One of my favorite things is books, so I shared plenty with Bubby while he was here. We read My Name is Not Alexander, Share With Brother, Amazon Alphabet and more, including Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go, which killed two birds with one stone: my love for books and Bubby's love for trucks.

One of Jim's favorite things is coins. Collecting them, counting them, sharing them, and searching for them. With Bubby.

In our back yard, Jim buried handfuls of coins specifically for "treasure hunting" with Bubby — an activity they've enjoyed together since Bubby was able to walk. Bubby delights in unearthing the "treasures" and taking them home to add to his piggy bank.

SORRY! VIDEO DISAPPEARED IN BLOG REDESIGN!

Without a doubt, treasure hunting makes for a far more exciting slideshow than book reading might. Plus, there are only so many photos of me reading in my jammies first thing in the morning — sans makeup — and even fewer I'm willing to post for people to actually see.

Today's question:

What interest do you enjoy sharing with others?

Guest post: Grandtravel

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Bubby and Megan arrived last night so I sincerely thank Mary at HappyHealth.net for the following guest post submission which allowed me to enjoy my visitors from the get-go instead of fretting about a Friday post. Plus, it's perfect timing for grandparents considering their summer travel plans. Enjoy! ~ Lisa

Grandtravel provides opportunities for quality time

On HappyHealth.net, we recently did a post about the perks of grandtravel, a new type of traveling that anyone can enjoy during their retirement. What is this mysterious grandtravel, you might ask? Let me explain it to you because it can be really amazing. Quite simply put, this is the practice of taking vacations with your grandchildren. There are certainly many benefits to be had from this type of travel, most namely that you can spoil the grandchildren to your heart's content without their pesky parents stepping in and telling them (or you) "no" about anything.

I've always loved to travel, which is what I've been doing with most of my retirement. I've taken a few trips with my own grandchildren, and let me tell you it definitely creates a time to remember. When kids get older, they tend to have less in common with us boring grandparents, so taking advantage of these opportunities while they are young will give the both of you memories to cherish for a lifetime.

I remember one trip where I took my 6-year-old granddaughter with me to visit Florida. She, of course, loved the beaches and the shopping and all the money that Grandma spent on her. I loved having the company, and especially having the livelihood of a young one around because it made the trip all the more fun and exciting than if I had went alone.

I do love my relaxing getaways, so don't get me wrong. However, I've realized that in my retirement I can have all the relaxation and privacy that I want at home. Why not enjoy my time traveling with the people that I love the most? Plus, by taking my granddaughter without her parents, we had more fun and I was able to spoil her to my wit's end, which is just what I love to do.

If you want to spend more time with the grandkids, take them on vacation. Just remember, it'll be more fun if you leave Mom and Dad at home.

• Contributed by Mary Albert, a blogger for HappyHealth.net, a senior lifestyle and senior health web site that provides advice for the 55+ age group as well as medical alert reviews.

Photo courtesy HappyHealth.net.

Today's question:

What are your summer travel plans ... so far?