Holiday travel with kids: 5 tricks for an easier time

I leave this afternoon for an early holiday visit with my grandsons. I've got my grandma bag packed with lots of festive fun, and I shipped my Christmas gifts via UPS yesterday to arrive at Bubby and Mac's house tomorrow. No sense lugging them in my luggage when I could ship them for basically the same price—and be able to wrap them beforehand, with no complaints (or tearing open) by TSA.

I'm excited and all set to go. The only thing that will be missing from the trip is PawDad. This will be a solo trip for me to see our grandsons as the primary reason for heading to the desert is to cover childcare while Megan and Preston cover their seasonal obligations and celebrate their birthdays (Preston's was yesterday, Megan's is Friday).

Mac and Gramma 2011It's pretty easy for a grandma to get up and go for a holiday visit to the grandsons. It's not so easy to do the celebrating the other way around, with the grandsons and family traveling to Grandma's. Megan and Preston know that for a fact, as that's what they did last year—traveled over the river and through the woods to Gramma and PawDad's house.

I naturally had no trouble at all welcoming my grandsons and their parents to my home Christmas Day last year. For Megan and Preston, though, the trip was rough, and they've sworn to not travel again at Christmas—at least not while the boys are young and restless.

Bubby at Gramma's 2011I would love nothing more than to have my entire family together for Christmas celebrations, but I get it: Traveling with young kids is hell challenging.

That said, there are some tricks for making an easier time of it. Claire Haas, mom of two and Vice President of Education for Kiddie Academy, offers the following tips for handling holiday travel with kids. Share her ideas with the moms and dads heading your way with your precious grandkids in tow, ripe and ready for seasonal spoiling by Grandma and Grandpa:

•• Consider traveling at off-peak hours. Start the trip at 9 p.m. instead of 9 a.m. Doing so will avoid traffic, and the kids may just sleep for part of the trip. Increase the chances for sleep by an extended playground trip to burn off energy before buckling them in the car seats.

Courtesy Kiddie Academy• •A dollar store cookie sheet with magnets works great as a lap desk for the car or on a plane. The raised edge can help prevent crayons and cars from landing on the floor.

• •If facing a long car ride with the kids, pack each a "travel activity bag" with new games and activities to keep them busy. Keep the bag in the front seat and dole out a new item each hour. For example, a printed map for playing the license plate game or bubbles to blow out the car window.

• •Consider relaxing any restrictions on daily screen time. Video games, iPads and laptops can be true lifesavers when dealing with kids facing hours in close proximity to their siblings.

•• You have two choices on bedtime disruptions during holiday travel—stick to the routine while away from home, or just accept that rules are out the window and make the best of it. For some children, staying up past bedtime during the holidays is a special treat they'll remember fondly. Do what will work best for your family, and shrug off raised eyebrows from a great aunt or other relative because kids are allowed to stay up late or required to stay on schedule.

Today's question:

Would you rather travel to visit family at the holidays or host the family at your place?

From Huff/Post50: Who puts baby in a corner? Not this grandma

This post, sans the photos, was originally published on Huff/Post50, my first post as an official Huffington Post blogger.

Different grandmas, different styles

My favorite grandma never spanked me. She also never yelled at me, reprimanded me, restricted me.

My not-so-favorite grandma? Well, she never spanked me, either. She did, though, once make me drink grape juice I didn’t want. I immediately vomited up the purple stuff; Grandma immediately yelled at me for doing so. From that moment on, my “Favorite Grandma” title went to my other grandma—and my “Least Favorite Juice” designation went to grape.

When it came to being disciplined by my grandmothers, things could have been far worse. Back in the day—yes, that day—it was common for grandparents, heck, even neighbors and strangers, not to spare the rod when they deemed necessary, even when it came to children not their own.

I got lucky. Not in that I was a child above reproach and reprimand, but that my grandmothers pretty much left such things to my parents. Except when it came to drinking one’s juice.

Now that I’m a grandma, I consider those grandparenting styles, the disciplinary actions of my grandmothers, as well as the way the grandparents to my own children—my parents, my in-laws—conducted themselves with their grandkids.

The (step) patriarch of my husband’s family regularly swatted upside the heads those grandkids who committed minor infractions. I often wondered as a new member of my husband’s family if his step-dad’s popping kids for this and that was how he became known as “Pop” to the family.

My own mother, grandma to my three daughters, didn’t pop grandkids upside the head, but she often spanked on the rears the children of my younger sisters, regularly made them sit in the corner for misbehaving.

My sister-in-law and my sisters were okay with Pop and Grandma coming down hard on their kids. Both grandparents played a prominent role in helping the single moms raise the kiddos, so that may be why they were given more authority. It worked for their families. To each his own.

I, though, wasn’t okay with such disciplining of my own.

Not that my children were perfect by any means, or that they didn’t deserve to be disciplined upon breaking bad. But if the discipline necessary went beyond a stern look or word, perhaps a slight swat upon a diapered bottom for safety’s sake, we had an unspoken “hands off” policy. Nobody puts my babies in a corner—except for their dad and me.

Yet my husband and I didn’t put our kids in the corner. Nor did we pop them on the head now and then. We did, though, hand out some fairly strict disciplinary action when our daughters needed it. We sent them to their rooms, and we took away privileges. On occasion, we even spanked them.

When it comes to my grandsons, though—ages four-and-a-half and one-and-a-half— spanking, shaming, popping upside one’s head just isn’t my style. I know some grandmas do it, but I won’t. I simply cannot imagine inflicting the slightest bit of pain upon my grandsons.

That doesn’t mean I’ve not inflicted emotional pain, though. Unintentionally, I assure you, just as my not-so-favorite grandma did with the grape juice.

Case in point: As a long-distance grandma, I pack a pretty hefty lot of luggage when I visit my grandsons. In that luggage is always what we call my “Grandma Bag,” filled with crafts, books, and fun to fill the time with the boys. The rule is that my grandsons must wait until I share treasures from my bag, not go into it themselves.

Also in my luggage—as surely applies to many a grandparent—is medication. Pills and more that should never, ever be touched by little ones and one of the reasons my grandsons are not allowed in “Gramma’s room” unless I’m with them.

Most can likely guess what happened: I entered my room one morning to find my oldest grandson sitting on the floor, happily going through the goodies in my Grandma Bag, the bag that had been in my suitcase, right beside those other things he was to never, ever, touch. He peered up at me with a grin over all the fun Gramma had in store—then immediately realized the mistake he’d made. He burst into tears, I calmly reminded him that he’s to never, ever touch Gramma’s things without first asking.

After lots of tears from him and lots of lecturing from me, my grandson apologized for the bad choice he’d made. I, of course, forgave him. The question is, did he forgive me? I know firsthand that grudges toward grandmas can run deep, and I didn’t want my grandson to forever hold against me the Grandma Bag incident.

Regardless of whether my grandson forever revokes from me the “Favorite Grandma” designation or not, I hope he will eventually realize my response could have been far different, could have included a spanking.

With the holidays upon us, what other grandmas might do may be tested. Families will gather, kids will act up. Some grandparents will spank or send kids into corners, some parents will bristle. Or not. To each his own.

I just know that when it comes to my own, nobody puts my grandbabies in a corner—except, maybe, their own mom and dad.

Today's question:

What is your experience with grandparents disciplining your children or you disciplining your own grandchildren?

One-word Wednesday: Engrossed

Mac and Bubby, engrossed in color selection for chalk drawing.
October 25, 2012

Today's fill-in-the-blank:

Lately I've been engrossed in _______________.

Photo replay: The child that was

"For in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be." ~John Connolly

 

My youngest and my oldest on Thanksgiving Day. With every visit it gets harder to see the adorable child each once was in the lovely women they've become.

Today's question:

In which of your children is it most difficult to see the child that once was?

20 Thanksgiving jokes to share with kids

Kids—and some grown-ups, too—love corny jokes. Here are 20 to share during the Thanksgiving holiday.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside.

Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?

Because he had the drumsticks.

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?

Their age.

What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?

Your teeth.

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot.

Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America?

Because they missed their plane.

What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock.

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?

Your nose.

Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?

Because they never learned good table manners.

Who isn't hungry at Thanksgiving?

The turkey because he’s already stuffed.

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Yes, because a building can’t jump at all.

When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?

On their feet.

How many cranberries grow on a bush?

All of them.

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?

The letter “g”.

What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

The tur-key.

Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

In the dictionary.

Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?

Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.

What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?

They both have stuffing.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Harry.

Harry who?

Harry up, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Gladys.

Gladys who?

Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren’t you?

Today's question:

What corny joke lovers will you dine with this Thanksgiving?

Grandparenting as a second chance: 15 things I'd do this time around

Some grandmas and grandpas consider being a grandparent their second chance at parenting, their opportunity to do things right, do things forgotten.

Not me. I don't see my time as Gramma being a do-over for my time as Mom. I've already had the headache, hassle, heartache of being a parent. I'm happy now to enjoy my time with my grandchildren without feeling the need to make good on all the things I neglected, all the ways I screwed up with my children. For one thing, there's no way to make up for what was—with those kids or with the kids of those kids.

If it were, though, if being a grandparent really did provide an opportunity for do-overs, here are a few things I'd do better the second time around:

• Go on more family bike rides.

• Complete a doll house for the girls. Boys, too, if they wanted one.

• Be more adamant about flossing.

• Allow them to order dessert now and then when dining out. Or an appetizer, instead of saying the budget's too tight for either.

• Teach them to sew, regardless of their gender.

• Not allow them to quit musical instruction, be it band, choir, guitar lessons.

• Not allow them to quit sports mid-season, either.

• On the other hand, I'd be more adamant about them quitting bad relationships sooner.

• Take them camping as teens, even if they didn't want to go. Once they got out in the boonies, they'd surely appreciate the s'mores, stories, and sky of endless stars regardless of their protests from home.

• Go on more picnics. And Sunday drives, with no particular destination, agenda, goal.

• Buy them each a camera at a younger age. (A far easier consideration now that the cost of developing photos is no longer a factor.)

• Allow more slumber parties. Though not co-ed, as seems currently in fashion.

• Sing more.

• Hug more.

• Remember more.

Today's question:

What would you do differently if given parenting do-overs?

Tunnels of a silly sort

While many in the eastern part of the country (justifiably) despaired over tunnels that once got them where they wanted to go but are now impassable thanks to Hurricane Sandy's devastation, I (rather guiltily) pored over photos of tunnels of a more joyful sort.

Far from crowded corridors for commuters, Bubby and Mac know tunnels as nothing more than colorful tubes of pure pleasure. Tubes that are always in operation. Tubes that are doubly delightful when shared by two.

 

Today's question:

When did you last go through a tunnel of any sort?