What I learned this week: Our voices matter

I used to sing, now I mostly whistle. For as long as I can remember, I've enjoyed accompanying music of all varieties, from big bands to little bands, from songs that rock to those that roll classically or otherwise. That accompaniment most often came by way of singing along.

Then I started losing my voice on a regular basis. Year after year — afteryearafteryearafteryear — I would get a bad cold that would quickly become laryngitis and I couldn't speak at all for days on end, much less sing. So I whistled.

Whistling came in handy when I had no voice, at least for carrying a tune. It didn't help a bit, though, when I needed to speak. For one long stretch of years, the years when I was a writer then editor at the newspaper, the loss of my voice every couple of months frustrated me to no end. I'd have interviews to conduct, people I'd have to speak to on the phone.

I'd gargle lemon juice in the morning before going to work, gargle lemon juice in the restroom at work, gargle it (or sometimes straight vinegar) before conducting an interview. The sour juices would cut through whatever rendered my vocal cords silent and and I could speak... for at least a few moments.

Sometimes, when the lack of a voice made it impossible for me to conduct my editorial business as I should, I had to ask my coworkers at times to return phone calls on important matters or I had to resort to emailing those who needed to talk to me. And this was before the days when folks checked their email on a regular basis — and long before texting was an option.

When my newspaper department was cut and my associates and I were left surviving on freelancing gigs, the loss of a voice still tripped me up now and again. I clearly recall one horrendous interview for a freelance article, a time when Froggy from Little Rascals had nothing on me and my croaking voice, yet the show, er, interview had to go on. I was so embarrassed listening to myself later as I transcribed that interview. So painful it was to hear, and so painful for my poor interviewee.

Soon after that interview, I started my blog. I've not lost my voice since.

As silly and new-agey as it may seem, I do believe in the mind-body connection, and the connection to losing my voice was this: I wasn't saying what I needed to say, the things I needed to let out, the things I wanted people to know about me and hear from me. My blog allowed me to make my voice heard. I was saying the things I needed to say, so no longer would I lose my voice.

Because I've been sick many, many times since starting my blog but have not once lost my voice, I firmly believe that through my blog I found my voice.

Through my blog others have found my voice, too. My voice seems to have resonated with the grandmas and others who have read Grandma's Briefs during the past four years. And this week I learned that my voice has resonated with others beyond grandmas, too.

See, back last year, there was a moment when I was incredibly frustrated by the manner in which I felt grandma bloggers were treated (or ignored) in the bloggy world. So I wrote a post about it, called it The Grandma in a Box. The post was so well received by the readers of Grandma's Briefs that I decided to enter it in the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year, which is a pretty big honor for the bloggers chosen.

And this week I learned that post of mine was named — out of the 2,600 entries — not only a Voices of the Year honoree, but the People's Choice selection in the humor category. (The other categories were Inspiration, Heart and OpEd.)

My voice... among the 100 chosen. My voice... one of four People's Choice winners. My voice... now officially a voice that mattered.

So unexpected, so humbling, so exciting.

All 100 bloggers selected in the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year — including several other midlife voices such as my Generation Fabulous friends Lois Alter Mark, Sandra Sallin, Janie Emaus (a Grilled Grandma!) and Shannon Bradley-Colleary — will be honored at the BlogHer conference July 26 in Chicago. The honor is a big deal, for me and for all the other bloggers named for their voices.

But the honor is a big deal for all grandparent bloggers, too, because my voice — a grandma voice — apparently mattered to folks who are not grandmas, folks who selected the Voices of the Year. Which is huge! That means grandma (and grandpa!) bloggers are finally getting noticed, finally being heard, finally, I hope, being let out of the box.

Not only does my voice matter, our voices matter. And that is what I learned this week, courtesy the 2013 BlogHer Voices of the Year.

I'm over and out for the week, but I look forward to seeing you again Monday here for the GRAND Social link party for grandparents. It's where you can share your posts — your voice — so I hope you'll join me.

Have a lovely weekend!

Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

What I learned this week: Beware of bad grandmas

Tuesday night, as I watched the last episode of The Voice (and crossed my fingers Michelle Shamuel or the Swon Brothers would win), I received on my phone a Facebook message. It was a friend alerting me to posts and pictures of my grandson Mac that were being prominently featured on another grandma's Facebook page.

The Facebook page in question isn't that of a friend or a regular reader of Grandma's Briefs. It's a Facebook page unrelated to a blog or website, and it bills itself as dedicated to "grandparents and grandkids."

After checking out what my friend directed me to, it was clear the content was not something I had shared on Facebook, not a "share" from my Grandma's Briefs Facebook page. No, it was my original copyrighted material copied in full from this post. Worse yet, it featured the photo of Mac that went with the post, stolen from this blog and pasted on that Facebook page as if it were their own material. No attribution, no mention of Grandma's Briefs, no admission that it was not their material and not their grandchild they were sharing. (There were, in fact, two of my posts that Facebook page had stolen from this blog, but only the written text from the second.)

Worse yet... that stolen content was being shared and shared and shared across Facebook. My words. My grandson. My post. My copyrighted material. Yet no one seemed to notice that the bad grandma who put it on her page was not the owner of the material, not the grandmother of the precious little boy they all found so cute and shareable.

I was livid. I was literally shaking as I commented on the post on that page, asking the grandma to please remove my content, but more importantly, to remove my grandson's photo from her page. There was no response to my comment on that post requesting it be removed (even though I know she was there as new posts were being added as I steamed), so I had to private message her. Her response — as the sharing from her nearly 25,000 Facebook fans of my post and grandson continued: "...sorry, your pic should have a link or a owner name. ( your mistake, not ours)."

I was appalled at her response, her refusal to accept responsibility for stealing from my blog (as I said, I had not shared the full post on Facebook, ever) and her refusal to completely remove my grandbaby and my copyrighted words from her page.

It took quite a few go-rounds, many private messages from me to those who unwittingly shared stolen property and my grandson's photo, many threats from me to that unethical grandma that I'd be reporting her for copyright infringement before she finally and reluctantly removed my content. After it had been shared across Facebook by nearly 300 of her fans.

Okay, I know my grandson is cute. And my 10 commandments for grandmothers post was a fairly clever one if I say so myself. And ya know what? If that grandma had requested permission from me to post it on her page or had included the fact it was from my site and noted that the photo was my grandson (whose face isn't visible in that photo, thank heavens... it's the one above, just with different text for that stolen post), I probably would not have cared. I probably would have welcomed the request to share my work. But she didn't ask. She came into my house (my blog), stole my stuff (my words and photos), and offered to share it with the world as if it were hers to share.

So very, very wrong. Even more wrong was that she refused to accept responsibility for her actions or apologize for the mistake.

What makes this even worse is that I am not the first person this woman has stolen from in this manner. I have a grandma friend — who shall, at her request, remain anonymous — who experienced the very same thing, sans the photo of a grandchild, luckily. My friend went round and round to have her content removed.

Finally my friend won, the content was removed from that page. Time went by. Then the bad grandma stole content from my friend again, giving no attribution to the owner of the copyrighted material. Oddly and sadly enough, there are other Facebook pages that have done the exact same thing to that exact same grandma friend.

Truly unbelievable. Especially because all the pages that did it are grandmas. Or claim to be.

As I told the bad grandma who stole from me, she should be ashamed of herself and that I hope her grandchildren do not follow her lead. She came back at me with a "no need to get personal," which seemed rather ironic to me because when you steal photos of my grandchild, copy and paste my words/writings/works, that seems quite personal.

I continue to "like" that Facebook page — only so I can keep an eye out for my content, photos of my grandchildren being shared without my permission. It's one thing to "share" something I have placed on Facebook for friends and family, such as you folks, to share; it's entirely another to come to my blog, copy/paste/steal my content then post it on Facebook and pretend it's yours.

So the bottom line, the reason for this long-winded diatribe is to warn you all to beware the bad grandmas who may steal your content and share it on Facebook. I will keep an eye out for your content being shared. I hope you will keep an eye out, too, not only for my content but for that of all the grandmas in our grandmahood, those of us who know each other — even if only online — those of us who have each other's backs.

Together, we must beware of bad grandmas. That, my friends, is what I learned this week.

<heavy sigh>

As I step down from my soap box, I'd like to wish each and every one of you a fantastic weekend. I so very much appreciate you all, and I hope to see you here again come Monday!

Cheers!

Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

What I learned this week: Fans make a difference

As the temperature soared to nearly 100 degrees early this week for the first time this season, I complained and complained about not having air-conditioning.

When temps did the same the next day, I pulled from storage our nine fans (some oscillating, some box, some desk top) and placed them strategically around the house. Then Jim went and bought two more (window fans), and we added those to the strategy.

The next day, as the temps rose yet again, I didn't complain about the heat. Because it wasn't all that hot in the house. Because of the fans.

I thought to myself: With the help of fans, I can weather most anything.

Then I considered how true that is — and not just because I have the humming and whirling of fan blades cooling things down throughout my house.

See, it's been a tough week. Not as tough and heartbreaking as what many around me have faced in the last few days, yet still a challenge... for me. I've had two very important writing deadlines to meet in the midst of one of the more trying family times — for myriad reasons — that I've dealt with in a while. There's the heat and my cold that won't go away. And there's the Black Forest Fire, which doesn't affect me directly, but sure affects my heart, soul, and mind at a time that all three seemed at maximum capacity.

Because of the tasks at hand, I've not been online much this week. Not on social media, not on my blog, not on the blogs of others, not reading and answering emails as I should. But every single time I did get online, I'd see something from Grandma's Briefs readers — be it number of visitors to my blog, Facebook updates, emails, tweets, or comments — that would warm my heart, make me smile, emphasize that there are people I've never, ever met who kindly and unselfishly support me and my words. People who are, for want of a better word (because this one sounds so vain, so egotistical), my fans.

Such things I'd see online kept me going, in one way or another. They made a difference. I made it to Friday. I completed (most of) the week's tasks. I met deadlines by Thursday for which I, on Monday, considered requesting extensions. I accomplished the family stuff I set out to do, too. And I even found time to consider and pray and fret about the fire.

So what I learned twice this week is this: With the help of fans, I can weather most anything. I'm incredibly thankful for fans. I'm incredibly thankful for you.

Have a wonderful weekend! I hope to see you on Monday.

(And please do continue to keep those affected by the Black Forest Fire in you thoughts and prayers. Thank you.)

Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

My frustration: 8 things I can't seem to master

I'm pretty good at a few things. I really stink at accomplishing other things, though, things many folks seem to have no problem at all achieving.

Here's my short-list of the latter:

8 things I can't seem to master

NOT one of mine, for mine don't even bud.1. Getting my irises to bloom. I have dozens upon dozens of (what I think are) irises in the back yard. The foliage sprouts from the ground every spring. The healthy green blades grow and grow and grow... then never become anything more than tall green sentinels guarding the rock garden. No blooms, no flowers, ever. They've been that way since we moved into this house. I can't seem to master making them bloom. They're not overcrowded, they're not in shade. They're not going to be allowed to stick around if they don't start doing something soon.

2. Finding the time to play with friends. I'm talking Words with Friends, Candy Crush and any other number of fun things folks play online with faraway friends and family. I've received many invitations, all have been ignored... or flat-out refused. I can't seem to manage my time to allow for play. Not even solo Bejeweled 3 play, and I love Bejeweled.

3. Photographing the moon. We had a fantastic full moon this past week. Despite having a great camera and using the correct settings plus a tri-pod, I still can't seem to master this. My latest effort:

4. Pretty summer feet. Soft and silky tootsies elude me. Despite pedicures, pampering creams, powerful pumicing and pretty polishes, my feet never reach soft and silky status. I'll spare you the photo; even at their prettiest, feet photos are funky.

5. Accepting my long-distance grandma status. Mac's birthday is June 1. Bubby's birthday is June 18. A joint party is scheduled for this Saturday. I can't be there, wasn't even invited to be there, as it's just accepted that I can't come. Accepted by everyone but me. I'm especially struggling with this one today.

Bubby and Mac, jumping on the trampoline in their jammies.

6. Commenting regularly. I try, bloggy friends. I really do try to get around to blogs and comment and let you know I enjoy what you're writing, doing, sharing. I read blogs via Feedly, marking those to comment on as soon as I have time. Then time evaporates. How do those of you who faithfully comment on blogs manage it? I really, really, really want to master this one. I welcome your tips.

7. Redesigning my blog so I have comment threading. Speaking of commenting, I also have good intentions of staying on top of replying to you wonderful folks who comment on my posts. My good intentions are thwarted primarily by no comment threading here on my blog. If I could pop in now and then and reply directly to each comment, I think we'd all be happier. I actually already have a sister site where I intend to move Grandma's Briefs. I have a few posts there, I have few photos there. Most importantly, I have comment threading there. But getting everything else there seems so incredibly daunting that I've not yet managed to wrap my head around it, much less master it.

8. Quitting. Despite my inability so far to master any of the above, I've not yet figured out how to quit trying. So I will keep trying. Chances are I'll eventually master at least a few. Except No. 5, of course, which is one I'm sure I will never master.

Today's question:

What have you not yet mastered but hope to eventually?

Walk MS 2013 — Photo recap

Thank you to everyone for the fantastic support of my participation in Walk MS 2013 on Saturday. I finished the three-mile course, only pooping out a tad at about the two-mile mark, then finishing strong thanks to the support of my fellow team members, Brianna and Andrea.

Here, a selection of photos from the event — many of the photos taken by team photographer Jim:

Lots to see and do.

Family support matters!

Toyota generously serves as Official Vehicle Sponsor of Walk MS 2013.

MS Society representatives (from left): Chelsea Hixson, local Walk MS Manager, and Kristin Gibbs, Vice-President of Development/Colorado-Wyoming Chapter.

Before the start and heading out...

With three miles under our belts (or fanny pack, in my case).

Even the dogs enjoyed the day.

Again, I sincerely appreciate the support of one and all. With your help we exceeded our team fundraising goal of $500. Thank you for helping make a difference!

Note: This is not a sponsored post for Toyota or the National MS Society; I'm simply appreciative of the positive difference made by both.

Today's question:

When the going got rough and I thought the MS might get the best of me, I kept telling myself to just "keep on keeping on." What is your motto when the going gets rough, physically or otherwise?

What I learned this week: Google+ hates me

The last couple of weeks, I've been spending much time and energy trying to better figure out Google+. Most specifically, I'm working on getting the hang of Google+ hangouts. Google+ hangouts are quite similar to Skyping, only it's super simple to have a large number of people join you. They're a fantastic way to participate in (or just watch) online interviews and information sessions on a variety of topics, as well as visit with friends and family.

Chloe from GenerationFabulous.com has been instrumental in encouraging all the Generation Fabulous members — of which I'm one — to hop aboard the Google+ train, and she led the first Google+ hangout I've joined. It was an opportunity for those of us who have never hanged out (or whatever the grammatically correct term might be) to try it in a low-stress atmosphere.

During that first hangout, Chloe taught me and some other newbies a thing or two, such as how to make our names show up during a hangout — especially handy for those of us who want to look professional when getting interviewed online. I've never been interviewed online (nor am I ready to be) but I followed her directions and now come across quite professional looking in a Google+ hangout. Well, at least the label does.

(The picture of Jim is there because I did this practice one with Jim to get shots for this post; hangouts require you to, well, hang out with someone. He didn't use video, so just his profile photo shows up.)

Chloe also showed us how to access nifty tools that make us look the opposite of professional. They're fun things that enhance the experience when participating in a hangout with grandkids, which is one of the more awesome reasons to figure out Google+ hangouts, if you ask me.

I'd also like to figure out the hangouts so I can hang out with friends who are scattered across the country. I'd be happy to wear a crown or smiley face then, too.

There also are some fun sounds to make grandkids (and big kids) chuckle while hanging out:

Also cool for hangouts with grandkids: The storytime feature in which you can choose a book from the bookshelf and read it aloud to kiddos watching and listening from their end.

That's just a small snippet of Google+ hangouts and why I think they're pretty darn cool.

So why do I say Google+ hates me?

Well, because with all the cool things I could do with Google+ hangouts, my microphone doesn't work most of the time. I can Skype just dandy in the morning, but when I attempt a hangout in the afternoon, I sound like I'm underwater. Or I can't be heard at all.

I first thought it was a problem with my computer and my microphone, but it's not. Like I said, my mic works fine for Skype. It does not work fine for Google+ hangouts. And yes, I do have all the settings set correctly (I've checked... about 316 times). I've also replaced the audio drivers on my computer just in case... and my mic still doesn't work for Google hangouts. At least not most of the time.

I've searched and searched and searched for an answer online. Only to find a large group of equally unhappy folks with equally distressing problems when it comes to Google+ hangouts. It's not us, it's them. Meaning it's Google+.

Google+ hates us. For some unknown reason.

And that just plain stinks because I want so badly to play in Google+ hangouts. I so want to wear a pirate hat and patch while reading a story to Bubby and Mac. Or while enjoying a drink and some girl talk with faraway friends.

But I can't. Because Google+ hates me.

And that, unfortunately, is what I learned this week.

(I'm hoping what I learn by this time next week, though, is how to make my mic always work in the hangouts. I'm not giving in to the Google+ hate that easily. Stay tuned.)

Today's question:

What did you learn this week?

Twenty-one years of MS, plus the GRAND Social

Yay! Today is my anniversary! It's kind of a funky one to celebrate, as it's the anniversary of the date that I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. But I've done so well, I can't help but celebrate and share.

On Mother's Day 21 years ago, Jim literally carried me through the doors of the hospital emergency room so we could figure out why I couldn't walk and was losing my vision. My legs had gone numb a few weeks earlier, on April 24. I vividly recall the date because it was the night of a school carnival, where I'd helped man the booths at my daughters' elementary school. My feet were numb after the event, and the numbness progressively worsened, as did my vision. My general physician responded to my daily calls about the problem by telling me it was "just stress."

Long story short, thanks to a new doctor, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, told I'd likely never walk and possibly never see again. I was a young mother with young children, and I was scared to death. But I quickly learned the MS diagnosis wasn't a death sentence, that they were (thankfully!) wrong about my walking and vision, and that life goes on. In the past 21 years, I've learned many other important lessons about myself and my world that I wouldn't have without the MS. In many ways, it's been a blessing.

That said, though, it's a blessing I'd never wish upon others — especially not anyone I love, especially because not everyone is as fortunate as I have been in terms of progression of the disease. Which is why I support the annual MS Walk — which this year celebrates its 25th anniversary — and am once again walking in it this coming Saturday. Brianna has been instrumental in getting me to do it, and we first walked together in 2008. I finished the walk, but I could barely walk after crossing the finish line (Brianna even had to bring the car to me as I couldn't get to it). Because of that, it took me several years to get up the nerve to do it again. Finally, last year, we gave it another shot, and Andrea joined us. I did well, we had a great time, and we're doing it again this year.

Here's a little plug for Walk MS 2013:

I tend to shy away from fundraising efforts, even for great causes. But when I wrote about the walk after completing it last year, several readers asked why I didn't mention it before the walk so they could support me. So this year I offer here — with no obligation or expectation — the link to my MS Walk 2013 webpage, where you can sponsor my walk, if you feel so moved. If so, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And thank you all, in advance, for crossing your fingers and sending good thoughts my way as I tackle MS Walk 2013 with Brianna and Andrea at my side. I look forward to sharing with you photos of our success!

Plus, there's another anniversary of sorts: Today's GRAND Social is the FIFTY-THIRD one here on Grandma's Briefs! Thank you for participating once again!

How it works:

• All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

• To link up, copy the direct URL to the specific post — new or old — that you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post and graphic to the list.

• You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky. And no contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites, please.

• Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button anywhere on your page using the following code:

<a href="/" target="_blank"><img src="http://grandmasbriefs.squarespace.com/storage/GRANDsocialbutton.jpg " alt="Grandma’sBriefs.com" width="125" height="125" /></a>

• The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

• If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. Bloggers who link up would be honored to have one and all — bloggers and readers — visit, read and, if so moved, comment, even if just a "Hey, stopping by from the GRAND Social."

• Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday.

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social!