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November 06, 2012

To my 20-year-old self

November 06, 2012/ Lisa Carpenter

I'm fortunate to be part of a Facebook group of midlife women bloggers, called GenFab (Generation Fabulous). This week we have our first blog hop, posting on "What would you tell your 20-year-old self?" Here is my response, followed by links to the moving posts from my GenFab friends.

Dear 20-year-old Lisa,

You became a mom when still just a child yourself. As you suspect, the age at which you have your three precious daughters (yep, that babe in your belly right now is a girl, too) will affect everything you do and are throughout your life.

That can be a good thing, though—if you allow it.

In hopes you will indeed allow it, I have some advice for you. Despite you being stubborn in ways many have yet to realize, I do hope you'll take my advice to heart, act on it.

My advice is this:

Stop being so scared. You're scared about what's to come, what people think of you, what your girls—hell, what you—will grow up to do and be. You're scared of the other, older moms who seem to know and have and be so much more than you. You're scared of not knowing enough, not having enough, not being enough.

Well knock it off! There's no reason to be scared. Well, there is reason sometimes. But there will soon be an advertising tagline that says, Feel the fear and do it anyway. Do exactly that—always, in all ways.

Question authority. That principal who tells you it's okay to send your barely five-year-old daughter to kindergarten? Question that. That doctor who tells you tubes in a child's ears are a thing of the past? Question that. That same doctor, who tells you your daughter has an infection when it turns out to be a <cuss> hernia? Question that. When you're assured a negative amortization loan is okay, question it. And when an editor rejects your work, question that—then send it to other editors and never. ever. give. up.

Don't take the job. A few years from now, you'll be offered a job by someone you consider worldly and wise. Don't take it. The damage to your self-esteem, marriage and more because of "friends" you make there is so not worth it. Trust me. Yes, your household desperately needs the money, but Just say NO! (another slogan that will soon be a pop culture hit).

Brace yourself. I know you, I know you'll ignore the advice above. So brace yourself. The stress caused by the consequences of that bad choice will wreak havoc on your health in ways that will affect you each and every day for the rest of your life. Seriously. But know this: It's not as bad as doctors first tell you. You will walk again. You will see again. In fact, your neurologist will one day tell you you're a miracle. Trust that doctor. And trust that you will be okay.

Brace yourself, part two. Those little girls you hold in your arms today and the tiny one in your womb? Well, they're going to hate you. They will love you at first, of course. But when they're teens, they will hate you. Or at least think they hate you and make you think they really do. Because you'll be a mean mom and won't allow them to do much of what their friends do. Yet you won't be able to stop the typical teen stuff your girls manage to do anyway. And your disapproval, restrictions, and determination that they respect themselves and their parents—and that they just plain stay alive through the trauma-filled teen years!—will have them screaming, crying, resisting, and swearing they hate you because you are such a mean mom.

Be mean anyway. Regardless of their freakouts and your heartbreak and self doubt, be mean. It's what those girls—what many children—need. One day they will thank you, I swear. In fact, one night 28 years from now, that tiny bundle in your belly, the baby whom you've not yet met, will send you a text (something you'll learn to do decades from now) that says this:

Your baby girl's text—along with similar gratitude from her older sisters, once grown—confirm being mean was one of the most right things you'll do.

Have no doubt, the years ahead will definitely suck at times. But those sucky times will make you stronger, smarter, bring into breathtaking focus the brilliance of the many non-sucky times. Ultimately, you, your marriage (which does last, by the way, despite the challenges, stats, and naysayers), your babies, your eventual grandbabies, your life will turn out far better than you ever imagined.

Even if you don't listen to my advice.

Which I know you won't. Because you've always been far more stubborn than most people realize.

I love you anyway.

~ Your far older and a wee bit wiser self

Today's question:

What would you tell your 20-year-old self?

Please enjoy the heartfelt posts from my GenFab friends. Warning: Tissue alert for most!

November 05, 2012

Blessed by the view, plus this week's GRAND Social linky

November 05, 2012/ Lisa Carpenter

Last night as I made dinner, I noticed a tinge to the sky through the kitchen window. I quickly moved the pans off their burners, grabbed my camera, and ran outside to capture this:

The top photo was taken from my front yard, the bottom from my back yard. Colorado has been blessed with the most glorious sunsets the past several weeks, and I just had to share.

Time now to share our links in the first GRAND Social of November. Thank you for joining me!

How it works:

All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

Posts shared can be an old one or a recent one, your choice. I like to link up to older posts that current readers likely haven't seen.

To link up, copy the direct link to the specific post you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post to the list.

You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky.

No contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites.

Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button using the following code:

Grandma’sBriefs.com

The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday (open to links through Monday nights).

If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. All bloggers who link up would be honored to have you click, visit, read and comment.

READERS and PARTICIPATING BLOGGERS: Please visit the posts others have linked to by clicking on the thumbnail photos. Comments are always appreciated by the bloggers whose links you visit, even if it's simply "Hey, stopping by from GRAND Social."

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social grandparent linky!

October 29, 2012

Collaboration is key plus the GRAND Social grandparent linky — October 29

October 29, 2012/ Lisa Carpenter

The GRAND Social has always been a collaboration of sorts. People add links and people read links to create an enjoyable experience for all. Without those posting, there'd be no GRAND Social. Without those reading, there'd be no GRAND Social, at least not as it's meant to be—a collaboration.

Here is another sort of collaboration, one in which commuters in the United Kingdom add notes here and there to create something beautiful, something worth sharing. A collaboration.

Thank you for collaborating with me today on the GRAND Social. I appreciate those who link, as well as those who read. Together we, too, are creating something beautiful, something worth sharing.

How it works:

All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

Posts shared can be an old one or a recent one, your choice. I like to link up to older posts that current readers likely haven't seen.

To link up, copy the direct link to the specific post you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post to the list.

You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky.

No contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites.

Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button using the following code:

Grandma’sBriefs.com

The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday (open to links through Monday nights).

If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. All bloggers who link up would be honored to have you click, visit, read and comment.

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social grandparent linky!

October 28, 2012

Photo replay: Grandma playdate

October 28, 2012/ Lisa Carpenter

While in the desert visiting my grandsons, I had the pleasure of meeting my bloggy friend and fellow grandma, Connie from Family Home and Life. I assure you, she's just as delightful and down-to-earth in person as she seems to be from on her blog.

Bubby and Mac—whom she now knows by their real names—adored her, warming to her in ways not typical of my grandsons when it comes to strangers. Her grandma appeal was undeniable, and they were happy to share stories and hugs with her, without coercion from Gramma.

Thank you to Bubby for his exceptional job in using Gramma's camera to capture a few photos of the two grandmas together. Thank you especially to Connie for taking time from her busy schedule to meet my grandsons and me in real life and for the delicious gift of her famous Mason Jar 3-2-1 Cake. It was a true pleasure.

Today's question:

How often have you had the pleasure of meeting online friends in person?

October 22, 2012

GRAND Social — Grandparent linky — October 22

October 22, 2012/ Lisa Carpenter

I'm off in the desert this week, visiting my grandsons. You'll still find posts here each and every day, though, because I'm anal a bit of an overachiever that way (and I write in the night, after everyone's asleep).

I appreciate you stopping by for the GRAND Social in my absence. I'll be checking in now and again to visit your linked posts. Thank you for linking, and thank you for reading the posts of those who have linked.

Enjoy this week's GRAND Social!

How it works:

All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

Posts shared can be an old one or a recent one, your choice. I like to link up to older posts that current readers likely haven't seen.

To link up, copy the direct link to the specific post you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post to the list.

You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky.

No contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites.

Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button using the following code:

Grandma’sBriefs.com

The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday (open to links through Monday nights).

If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. All bloggers who link up would be honored to have you click, visit, read and comment.

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social grandparent linky!

October 15, 2012

Music to my ears plus the GRAND Social grandparent link party

October 15, 2012/ Lisa Carpenter

Happy Monday! Thank you for visiting on this fine fall day.

For more years than I can remember, George Winston has been my soundtrack for the season. Please enjoy a sampling from Autumn, my prelude to this week's GRAND Social.

And now, the GRAND Social:

How it works:

All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

Posts shared can be an old one or a recent one, your choice. I like to link up to older posts that current readers likely haven't seen.

To link up, copy the direct link to the specific post you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post to the list.

You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky.

No contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites.

Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button using the following code:

Grandma’sBriefs.com

The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday (open to links through Monday nights).

If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. All bloggers who link up would be honored to have you click, visit, read and comment.

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social grandparent linky!

October 08, 2012

GRAND Social — Grandparent linky — October 8

October 08, 2012/ Lisa Carpenter

We're off and running into the new week.

My week starts on a bittersweet note, with this being my last day with my grandsons. My, how time does fly.

Thank you for starting your week here, with the GRAND Social.

How it works:

All grandparent bloggers are invited to add a link. You don't have to blog specifically about grandparenting, but you must be a grandparent who blogs.

Posts shared can be an old one or a recent one, your choice. I like to link up to older posts that current readers likely haven't seen.

To link up, copy the direct link to the specific post you want to share, not the link to your blog's home page. Then click the blue "Click here to enter" text below and follow the directions to add your post to the list.

You can add up to three posts, but no duplicates, please, and none you have promoted on a previous GRAND Social linky.

No contests, giveaways, or Etsy sites.

Adding a mention at the bottom of your linked posts, such as This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky, is appreciated. Or, you can post the GRAND Social button using the following code:

Grandma’sBriefs.com

The GRAND Social linky is open for new posts through Wednesday evening, so please come back to see those added after your first visit.

Looking for another grandparent linky? Be sure to visit Connie's Grandparent's Say It Saturday Link Party each Saturday (open to links through Monday nights).

If you're not a blogger, you have the pleasure of being a reader. All bloggers who link up would be honored to have you click, visit, read and comment.

Thank you for participating in the GRAND Social grandparent linky!