Can you see the real me?

I want to be authentic here. When you visit Grandma's Briefs, I want you to feel like you know me, like I'm showing you my true self. And I am. To a certain degree.

Some of the blogs I read bare all, laying out the most intimate, the most heart-wrenching, the most (in my mind) embarrassing details of one's life in order to connect with readers.

Other bloggers I read write of sunshine and flowers and thanks for the bountiful blessings and, as another blogger succinctly put it, regularly "shit rainbows" instead of being down and dirty (read: "true").

Both tacks are fine ... for them.

For me, though, my level of self-revelation in my blog posts is somewhere in between. My goal is to allow you into my life to see the blessings, the many good times that warm my heart and put a smile on my face, in hopes that it'll do the same for you. I also want to share with you the challenges I face, the darker times, the moments that knock me and my heart for a loop, in hopes that you'll see you're not alone.

It's those darker times that I share less often. Mostly because I refuse to host a pity party and I abhor whining and complaining, which such posts sometimes come across as. But also because I want you to feel good about your visits here, not click away with a heavy heart, questioning whether it's worth your time to visit a dark and depressing place.

Yet, because I've not yet mentioned the dark cloud surrounding me right now -- the result of myriad crises swirling about me and my family -- I'm feeling inauthentic. Possibly like I'm deceiving you. And like those who know me in real life might be thinking I'm perpetuating a "Grandma's Briefs" persona that doesn't accurately reflect my reality, my struggles, my heartache.

Thing is, the sources of the many crises currently clogging up my heart and requiring constant prayer are not my direct story. Although the crises color my every waking moment, I'm in the periphery not the eye of the storm ... thank God. Because of that, because the stories aren't MY stories, I don't feel right sharing them, sharing the details, sharing the cuss that right now is irreversibly cussing up the lives of those around me.

And I've struggled with that. I want to share. I want to ask for prayers. I want to be authentic.

So I will compromise. I will tell you that all about me and my family is turmoil, trying times and tears. But because the unabridged stories are not mine to tell, I will share only to an extent that doesn't betray confidences or privacy.

Here's what I can share:

• The loved one of one of my very closest loved ones attempted suicide in a horrid manner last week. The person didn't succeed and is now in limbo physically, spiritually, psychologically. That limbo -- and whatever direction the person's life takes after the scale of survival eventually tips -- will have a forever impact on my loved one. And there's nothing I can do about it. And that sucks.

• Another loved one has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Not as fatal as most brain tumors, I'm told, as it was found on the pituitary gland and is potentially removable ... once it shrinks. In the meantime, spots of suspicion have now been found on this loved one's liver. And that sucks ... on both counts.

• Another loved one had half a leg amputated just before Thanksgiving. This is the least heart-wrenching of the current crises as at least the pain is gone ... and there are prosthetics. But still, the challenges ahead and the mourning what was lost matter. A lot. And that sucks.

Those are the biggies. Of course, like everyone, there are smaller challenges all the time, challenges that assault the heart but are overcome, slowly but surely. Most pale in comparison to those above. Thankfully.

There you have it: The real me, as of right now. I've shared as much as I can share without offending those who own the rights to the stories. In all honesty, I feel better, a little lighter for having shared even that little bit.

I hope my sharing won't lead you to click away with a heavy heart.

And I hope you won't be disappointed to learn that I don't have Technicolor BMs. But if that's what you're looking for, e-mail me -- I have links for plenty of other bloggers who do, and I'd be more than happy to share those with you, too.

Photo credit: stock.xchng

Holiday question of the day:

What holiday movie would you most like to live in, even if just for a while?

Guest post: Becoming Grand Aunt

Today I'm hosting my very first guest post on Grandma's Briefs. My new bloggy buddy Ridgely and I have teamed up to try out guest posting as part of a "tribe building" activity on SITS. Ridgely usually waxes humorous about midlife; I, as you know, write primarily about grandma-related topics. Today we take turns trying out each other's niches. Read Ridgely's sweet story below, then head over to her place to see my take on midlife in my guest post on her site.

Dear readers, I'm honored to present to you Ridgely:

Becoming Grand Aunt by Ridgely of Savor the Ride

The phone rings. Recognizing the number, I see it's D, my best friend as well as a fellow middle-aged crony. I grab a Diet Coke, looking forward to a phone call packed full of giggles and squeals of hysteria.

I say hello and the screaming begins. D is ecstatic about something. I’m sure of this. Why? That, I have not established yet.

Possibilities flash through my mind. She got a raise? No, she doesn’t work. She got engaged?  No, she just celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary. One of the twins is getting married? No, S got married last summer, and L is in med school.

I can't think of anything else, unless she has the winning Powerball lottery ticket.

She pauses to breathe. I tell her to slow down, quit yelling and explain what is going on. I cannot understand one word she is saying. Pulling back on her throttle of words, she declares, “I‘m going to be a grandmother.”

Grandmother, I exclaim to myself.  She’s only fifty-one. I ask, “Don’t you have to be 65, sport gray hair and wear hushpuppies to be a grandmother?”

She laughs, and then quickly tells me she is on her way to my house. She has a full day of baby shopping laid out for us. We’re going to begin at Koo Koo Bear Baby & Kids’ Store, work our way through BabiesRUs, Baby Gap and end up at Gymboree.

I get off the phone, dazed. Shopping for the baby? Don’t we have nine months? What do I know, I am only the … D’s children have called me Aunt R since they were born.

What do I wear to go shopping for baby stuff? I settle on my pink corduroy pants with a tailored pink shirt with ruffles. I mean, she is going to have a girl, right? I would be clueless around a little boy. I have no brothers or no boy cousins.

Hearing her screaming my name, I grab my pink Vera bag and run to meet her in my kitchen. She runs up, hugs me repeatedly crying, “I’m going to be a grandmother!”

Suddenly, the information sinks in, D is going to be a grandmother; S is pregnant. I helped potty train S. I have been Aunt R since she was born.  I realize I’m going to be a Grand Aunt. I burst into tears of joy.

Here we are in my kitchen: two best friends sobbing over the greatest news a mother can receive; she is going to be a grandmother.

My excitement grows. Visions of birthday parties, cookies for Santa, dance recitals and skinned knees fill my thoughts. I understand clearly how grandmothers love their grandchildren unconditionally before they are even born.

Grand Aunts do, too.

We better get going.

We don’t have much time before the baby gets here.

Photo credits: baby, crib

Today's question:

What new title has most recently been bestowed upon you? Grandma? Grand aunt? Mom? A new job title?

Life is GRAND

You may have noticed the header I've posted above for the past few days noting my good news. If you did notice that header (which no longer touts my good news) you will already know most of what I'm about to tell you.

The good news is ...

Grandma's Briefs was named one of the Top 12 GRANDparent Blogs in GRAND Magazine's Best of the Web 2010!

I'm honored to be included among some of the sweetest, brightest, most interesting and talented grandmas in the blogosphere. I'm even more honored that six of the Top 12 are grandmas I've featured as Grilled Grandmas right here on Grandma's Briefs! (Heads up: I hope to soon grill those in the Top 12 that haven't yet been subjected to my grilling.)

But the badges and glories go not only to me. (And this is the part you don't know about, even if you did read the header I ran for the past few days.) For all my readers, I have, courtesy of GRAND Magazine in recognition of my fancy pants designation, a one-year complimentary subscription to GRAND Magazine! That's 12 issues -- a $19.95 value -- for FREE just because you read this little blog o' mine. How to claim it? Well, all you gotta do is click right here: http://bit.ly/GRANDMAG.

Before you click away, though, I have one more thing to say: I'm very honored to have been named one of GRAND Magazine's Top 12. But I'm even more honored that each and every one of you come back here again and again to read, comment, and become part of my home on the Internet. Without you, there certainly would not be a Grandma's Briefs. So thank you!

Now go get your free subscription!

9 grandparenting ideas from 9 grandmas

I've met such fantastic grandmas through blogging, all with abundant wisdom and more to share.

Here are nine of my favorite -- most useful! -- posts from nine of my favorite grandmas around the web:

1. Grandma Susan, guide for About.com: Grandparents, offers up Baby Supplies for Grandparents. If the little ones will be visiting your house on a regular basis (lucky you!) or even just occasionally, Susan's list is a great starting point for stocking up.

2. All grandmas want to be Super Grandma, to be the provider of mega-memories for our grandkids. Donne of GaGa Sisterhood shares a hard-learned lesson on taming unrealistic expectations of yourself in Super Grandma Vacation Advice: Pace Yourself.

3. Scrambling for toys to entertain the grandkids? Grandma Ronda Kay of GrandGifting shares the giggle-and-grin inducing Unconventional Playthings in Unexpected Places.

4. Reading picture books together is a given, when it comes to grandmas and their grandchildren. Consider taking it a step further -- extending the time engrossed in the story as well as the enjoyment of each others' company -- with this Story Wheel activity from Grandma Lizzie of Grandma Lizzie's House.

5. Being a long-distance grandparent is much harder than it looks -- on the heart, the pocketbook, the relationship between Grandma and grandbaby. Grandma Sue of GrandLoving offers up a super collection of ideas for Long-distance Love and staying in touch across the miles.

6. Button, button, are you a grandma with lots of buttons? Oma of Travelin' Oma shares her ideas for keeping grandkids entertained by pulling out the button box -- or tin or jar -- and making the very most of Button, Button.

7. If you have grandsons to entertain, Grandma Shelley of Grandma's Little Pearls has the absolute coolest idea for the guys. She even calls it The Perfect Outing for Little Boys. Regardless of the title, though, I'm pretty sure little girls would consider it the coolest of cool, too.

8. Grandma Nina of Grandma Ideas has so many nifty ideas for activities with grandkids you likely won't even know where to begin. But as the older kids are often a little more difficult to entertain -- and impress -- you can't go wrong by checking out Nina's Video Fun with Teen-aged Grandchildren.

9. One of the quickest and yummiest ways I found to impress the grandkids -- and their dads ... and everyone else -- is with the Fried Egg Treats from Grandma Judy of Bible Gal. They don't involve eggs or frying, but you'll just have to click on the link to see what they really are, as I'm not at liberty to divulge the secret here. Click on the link then scroll down the page and you can't miss them. I bet you'll be impressed, too.

The greatest thing about the advice and ideas from these grandmas? You don't have to be a grandma to put them to good use -- they work just as dandy for moms, grandpas, aunts and more!

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Today's question:

If you could live in any children's book, which one would you choose?

My answer: "The Secret Garden" would be the place for me.

525,600 minutes ago

I interrupt the regularly scheduled Sunday programming to present this announcement:

Today is the ONE-YEAR BLOGIVERSARY of Grandma's Briefs!

Yeah, baby! One year ago today I set out to create a blog to help ease the distance between myself and Bubby, to share my successes and failures as I venture out on the grandparenting road. Since then, this little site o' mine has seen 396 posts, 2,393 comments, 15,385 unique visitors, and 44,748 page views.

Most of all, though, this site has seen YOU! And it's YOU that has made Grandma's Briefs such an awesomely incredible experience for me!

There simply are no words to describe how much I appreciate you showing up and reading and commenting on my words and pictures, making it seem like this crazy journey I'm on -- the same one taken by millions of others, yet oh-so personal to me -- matters to someone besides myself and my family.

You all mean the world to me, and I'm offering up a few prizes as just a very small token of my gratitude for the difference you've made in my life. I'd like to give each and every one of you a great big bear hug, but a little giveaway will have to do.

But first ...

DarrenRowse, masterful mentor and blogger extraordinaire of Problogger, recently proposed a 7 Link Challenge that I thought would make a perfect one-year-blogiversary post. Darren's challenge is to present seven links in seven themes that best represent to new and long-time readers what one's blog is all about and to possibly introduce one and all to a few posts they may have missed.

In that vein, here are my answers to the 7 Link Challenge (Be sure to keep reading after the links for details on my blogiversary giveaway!):

1. Your first post – And so it begins ... featured -- naturally -- an absolutely adorable photo of Bubby.

2. A post you enjoyed writing the most – One woman's pleasure is another's worst job ever. I absolutely hated, hated, hated this job but I found writing about it rather cathartic because I knew I would never, ever, ever again be in a position to have to work such duty. Plus, I kind of enjoyed making you all say "ewww!" over the stinky job instead of the usual "awww...!" over the always precious antics and photos of Bubby.

3. A post which had a great discussion – Wanted: Crazy, quirky confessions. Wow! I loved reading all the quirky things you all got going on, and apparently you did, too. This post had the most comments of any other so far, and it doesn't even include the equally quirky comments I got when posting the same thing over on Vibrant Nation.

4. A post on someone else’s blog that you wish you’d written – There are so many great blogs I read by interesting and insightful women, but it's the posts of Pat at Mille FioriFavoriti that I envy the most. Not one particular post, but every single one. Why? She's a grandma, just like me, but she lives in this wonderfully exciting place (NYC) and has the most awesome photo skills to document the world in which she lives and travels. I don't hanker so much to write posts like her; I just want to be able to take photos like her ... and take those photos in places as awesome as those in which she takes hers.

5. A post with a title that you are proud of – Bikes, trikes and big-boy beds. Other than the always adorable photos of Bubby, there's nothing particularly special about this post. But I think the title just flows well -- and tells exactly what the post is about.

6. A post that you wish more people had read – With this kiss, I thee wed. Without the first kiss, there would be no me and Jim, thus no Brianna, Megan and Andrea; no marriage between Megan and Preston; no Bubby. Ultimately, without that first fateful kiss, there'd be no Grandma's Briefs. Well, this post isn't about that kiss. But it is about the anniversary of that kiss.

8. Your most visited post ever – Two men and a toddler (haircut) was published last August, but to this day I still get at least one -- often more -- clicks on it daily. I like to think it's because it is such a wonderfully wacky documentation of Bubby getting a haircut by Preston and his buddy. I shudder at my stats, though, showing there may actually be a more disgustinglypedophiliac factor to the searches that result in some of the visits. I've considered deleting this post because of the thought of what's behind the searches, but I love the photos too much to do that -- and I hope the icky folks doing the searching feel gut-wrenching guilt when they unexpectedly click on the wholesome photos of Bubby getting his hair done by Daddy.

And now, for the Grandma's Briefs One-Year Blogiversary giveaway:

Like I said above, I'd like to give all of you something. But what I have is three prizes to award, at random, to three folks who comment to this post telling me Why do you read Grandma's Briefs and/or what topics or features would you like to see more of in the coming year?

The prizes are:

Grand prize: A Grandma's Briefs One-Year Blogiversary tote bag filled with a few books from my stack of advance reader copies from publishers, plus homemade chocolate chip cookies made by Grandma (that's me)!

1st place: A Grandma's Briefs One-Year Blogiversary tote bag and homemade chocolate chip cookies!

2nd place: Homemade chocolate chip cookies!

(Do note that I'll ship the prizes within 24 hours of making the cookies so you won't be getting stale yucky pucks in the mail!)

Comments received by midnight MST Wednesday, July 28 are eligible for the drawing; winners announced Thursday, July 29.

Again, I appreciate you all! Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring!

Update

on 2010-07-25 23:35 by Lisa Carpenter

Okay, I'm the biggest dork of a grandma in the world, as Megan just pointed out that the Rent song -- and the facts -- show that it's 525,600 minutes in year, not what I originally had as the post title. Correction to title made! Thanks, Megan!

Tweeting without Twitter

I never thought in a million years I'd say this, but I use Twitter. Daily. Sometimes hourly.

After several years of saying how stupid the social networking site seemed to me, I'm now a tweeter. Which is kind of like a tweaker, as it is rather addictive, but it costs far less. In fact, being on Twitter pays me -- in the form of new followers and friends. Some of you reading this may have even followed me here from Twitter. (Welcome, SITSGirls!)

Anyway, so I tweet. No big deal.

Apparently it is a big deal to my daughters, though. A laughable big deal.

My daughters don't tweet; they think it's silly (like mother, like daughter, I suppose). They text, they're on Facebook, one even has a blog. But "I'd never tweet on Twitter!" is pretty much the common refrain from all three, incredulous that their mother -- a grandma, even, and someone they thought was intelligent ... on most days -- would actually participate in such drivel.

Funny thing is, my daughters do tweet. All the cussing time! Just not on Twitter. They send me little chirps and shoutouts via 140-character-or-less texts and 140-word-or-less phone calls and voicemails all day long. Which, in my opinion, puts them firmly in the "tweet" category.

The girls call or text to tweet about their trip home from work, the weather, what temperature you preheat the oven to for banana bread and on, and on, and on.

Don't get me wrong; I love their pseudo-tweeting. I truly do. I love that my daughters are comfortable calling and texting any time, any day, any night, for any reason whatsoever, however inane that reason may be.

Here is a small sampling of the pseudo-tweets I've received from my daughters just in the last two days:

"I finally feel like I have friends again!"

"What do I do if the power goes out?"

"Have you accessed my bank account for any reason?"

"Yay! I signed a lease!"

"I've never hated a job as much as I hate this one."

See what I mean? Those are tweet-worthy texts and telephone calls. More like Twitter direct messages, but Twitter talk just the same.

The one serious difference between tweets from my girls and tweets from my Twitter pals? No matter how often they tweet, no matter how often they bug the cuss out of me with the chirping, I can't unfollow the girls. There's definitely no "unfollow" button when it comes to my lovely offspring. And in all honesty, I don't want there to be. (Some folks on Twitter? Well, that's a different story. And I do use the unfollow button.)

Oh, and another big difference: Retweeting certain tweets from the girls is bad. Very, very bad. And may result in a total lockout of the service.

Which means this post will likely get me a big 'ol #mymomdoesntknowwhentokeephermouthshut mention.

If only the girls knew what that means.

And how to do it.

But they don't.

Because they're not on Twitter.

Ha!

Today's question:

Do you find it easier to form new friendships online or in real life? Why?

Flushing Grandma's potty mouth

I don't swear a lot, but I do swear. Probably more often than I should. Most often of the H-word, S-word, D-word variety.

I never ever use GD, and the F-word only flies in my head ... when I stub my toe, poke my eye with the mascara brush or get really, really, REALLY angry at Jim. But like I said, it's only in my head.

I do try not to swear around Bubby at all, but I'm thinking that I should probably just clean up my language a tad so I don't have to consciously consider what's coming out of my mouth when around him. Yeah, he's 819 miles away, but eventually I'll have grandkids nearby that I see more often and being a potty-mouthed grandma isn't what I aspire to be.

So I've decided I'm going to follow the lead of George Clooney ... as Fantastic Mr. Fox. He cusses all the time ... but he uses the actual word CUSS in place of the cuss words. Take a look:

How cussing cool is that!? I think I even picked up on an F-word replacement here and there. Which means I can actually tell Jim what I'm thinking at those times I'm really, really, REALLY angry and I'll still be a relatively clean-mouthed grandma!

So if I start using the "cuss" word around here, you'll understand, right?

Oh, and if you've not seen "Fantastic Mr. Fox," what the cuss are you waiting for?

Today's question:

What cuss word do you say most often?

My answer: The one most often flying from my mouth is the H-word ... and it's not when I'm reading the Bible.