National Humor Month: Giggles and grins for kids

April is National Humor Month. Don't let it end without getting in a few giggles, grins, and groans with the grandkids.

Here are a few to get things started:

What does a baby ear of corn call its father?
Pop Corn.

Why are movie stars cool?
Because they have so many fans.

How many months have 28 days?
All of them.

Two snowmen are standing in a meadow. One snowman turns to the other and says, "Do you smell carrots?"

What is the strongest bird?
A crane.

On which side does a leopard have the most spots?
On the outside.

What did the hat say to the hat rack?
“You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.”

How do you find a lost rabbit?
Easy. Just make a sound like a carrot.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut ask me any more silly questions.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”

How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Eleven—T..h..e...A..l..p..h..a..b..e..t

What is the difference between here and there?
The letter T.

What did the bad chicken lay?
A deviled egg.

Why did the students eat their homework?
Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs he would fall over.

Where can everyone always find money when they look for it?
In the dictionary.

Why do male deer need braces?
Because they have buck teeth.

What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy.

What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A Minnie van.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mayor.
Mayor who?
Mayor days be filled with love and laughter.

Today's fill-in-the-blank:

The last person I shared a joke with was _______________.

Missing the ordinary everydayness

Now that my kids are long grown and long gone, I occasionally miss the little things about having kids in our midst. Like watching them fully engaged in and enjoying ordinary, everyday activities. No posing or posturing, just playing.

Fortunately I have Megan to text me photos of ordinary everyday moments that, to a grandmother, are not that ordinary at all anymore and are truly something special to see.

To wit, scenes from a recent playdate—an afternoon hosted by Bubby and Baby Mac, featuring a car wash, snack time, and play pals:

So cool to see Baby Mac hanging with the big kids. And Bubby, too, obviously relishing his role as king of festivities.

Today's question:

What ordinary everydayness do you miss from your childrearing years?

Grandma's going to the desert and in her bag she'll pack...

I leave Friday for a twelve-day visit with my grandsons—seven days of which I'll be sole caretaker of kids while Megan and Preston attend an out-of-state conference.

In campfire-game fashion, I've made a list to ensure I remember all I need for the duration of my longest desert stay yet.

Grandma's going to the desert and in her bag she'll pack...

A — Aluminum foil for trying the back yard foil river we never got around to doing last time.

B — Bandaids to share with the boys. Decorated with VeggieTale characters.

C — Coffee. Lots and lots of it. (Okay, I'm not really packing the coffee but I've made sure it's included—in bold letters—on my list of demands that Megan have on hand.)

D — DSLR camera manual. And the camera, too. In hopes I can figure out a few more fancy functions while I have super subjects for shooting.

E — Earth-friendly crafts from Green Kid Crafts. The owners of the subscription service sent me several packets o' fun to review with Bubby, including Pirate Loot, Fishbowl, Great Horned Owl Mask projects and more.

F — Frozen Planet DVD. I'm excited to share it with Bubby.

G — Glasses. And a spare pair of glasses, too. I can no longer fake my way through reading small print—sometimes not even large print—and must bring a spare just in case something happens to the first pair.

H — Humor, or a good sense of it. From what Megan says, I'm likely gonna need it as the boys have been pills of varying sorts for the past week or so.

I — Ibuprofen. I'm pretty sure I'll be needing these pills for the above-referenced pills. If they really are pills. The boys, that is, not the pain reliever.

J — Jammies that are sufficiently grandma like as I don't want to scar my grandsons for life with any unintentional over-exposure.

K — Kitchen stuff. To include vanilla candy coating, sprinkles, and my grandma apron for making Confetti Popcorn with Bubby.

L — Laptop. A telecommuting working grandma can't leave home without it.

M — Music. On my laptop, on my iPhone. Because everything's better with music...and dance parties with cute boys. Cute boys named Bubby and Baby Mac, of course. (Well, named that at least here on the blog. In real life, those cute boys go by even cuter names.)

N — Ninety-four things I'm forgetting about as of this writing. Luckily there's still time for me to remember what those ninety-four things are. I hope.

O — Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott. In-flight reading material my good friend Heather recently bought and had autographed for me. (I'll be finished by then with Lamott's excellent book about becoming a grandma, Some Assembly Required. Huge Anne Lamott fan here.)

P — Power strip for ensuring I'll have plenty of spots for plugging in my laptop, camera, and iPhone each night as I nestle into bed.

Q — Quality hugs, kisses, and grandmotherly attention to be doled out in excess.

R — Realm for Women by Erox perfume. I really stink at accessorizing, but I always wear a (light!) squirt of an understated perfume. I like to smell good. And I like to think my grandsons will always remember that Gramma smells good. (Not that my Realm was purchased with them in mind. It was actually a gift from Jim—who always remembers that I like to smell good.)

S — Stickers! Race Cars Sticker Fun for Bubby.

T — Treasure. Also known as coins. PawDad always gives me treasure I'm supposed to pass along to the grandsons. Most times I do; sometimes I forget. (Just kidding, PawDad.)

U — Underwear. Because I had nothing else that started with a U. Well, because they're a necessity, too, but you know what I mean. Umbrella is the typical U word in such lists, but it's not likely I'll need one as the forecast's for triple digit heat while I'm there. (Maybe undertaker would have been more appropriate as the heat just might do me in.)

V — VeggieTales: Robin Good and His Not-So-Merry Men DVD.

W — Water balloons and the nifty gadget that makes them easy to fill. Will be So. Much. Fun. Especially on the trampoline.

X — X-tra patience. "See H — Humor" above.

Y — Yellow crayons...and every other color of crayon, too, to be used with the coloring book I'm packing.

Z — Zoris. I received a pair of Neat Zori sandals for review, but Colorado weather is not yet conducive to sandal wear. Days in the desert, though, are a perfect opportunity to see how the shoes stand up to days upon days of active fun in the sun.

photo: stock.xchng/bb_matt

Today's question:

Any recommendations of things I should add to my bag?

The Saturday Post: Egg inspiration edition

Tonight Jim, Brianna, Andrea and I will color our Easter eggs. I thought I was being fairly creative by breaking with tradition and buying all we need to try decorating our eggs using Kool Aid. Well, let's just say our colorful eggs to come ain't got nothing on these interesting creations, some of which I plan to try out next year.

Today's question:

What is your most tried and true egg-decorating technique?

The Saturday Post: Rise of the Guardians edition

Spring may have just sprung, but it's never too early for a movie lover to start making her list of must-see films for the holiday season.

The following trailer hit the Internet just this week, and it's a movie I definitely want to take Bubby to see when it comes out around Thanksgiving. (That is, I must add, as long as the yet-to-be-rated movie ends up PG or tamer; I've mentioned before my cringe-worthy experience with Bubby and a PG-13 movie.)

Movie talk aside, spring has indeed sprung. Cheers to getting outside and enjoying it!

Happy Saturday!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch

As I'd mentioned we'd hoped to, Jim and I spent Saturday afternoon at my sister's ranch, and we were delighted Brianna accepted our invitation to join us.

We rode ATVs...

Gave target practice our best shot...

Indulged in a little horseplay...

And enjoyed time with family we hadn't seen in a while...

Three things I learned from the day:

1. Allow more time next visit so we can go on an actual horseback ride after warming up the horses in the corral.

2. I'm a far better shot with a .22 than I—or anyone else—expected, especially considering I had never shot a gun of any size before. A "natural" even, according to the best ranch host ever, my nephew Coltan.

3. I'm still a big chicken when it comes to ATVs. I (reluctantly) rode with Jim to the shooting range; after target practice, I told them to enjoy their wild four-wheeling in the canyon without me and walked back to the house. Which was fine because it allowed me to add a few scenic photos to my collection of 980 photos from the day.

Today's question:

What were your picture-perfect moments from the weekend, whether you had a camera in hand to document or not?

Grandma's a chicken

♪♫ "Grandma's a chicken. ♪ Grandma's a chicken." ♪♫

That's what my sister told me last week.

Well, no she didn't.

I'm not only a chicken, I'm a liar, too. My sister didn't tell me that at all.

That's just what I felt like after getting off the phone with her. Not only did I feel like a chicken, I felt like a party-pooping chicken at that.

See, my sister and her husband own a ranch. With lots of outdoorsy activities for energetic people with get-up and go and gumption. And last week she called to invite Jim and me to spend a day or two at the ranch.

"We can go four wheelin'!" she said.

To which I immediately said, "Uh, no. I'm not a four-wheelin' kind of person."

"Not canyon-wall-climbing kind of four wheelin', you silly goon," she swore.

Still, my answer was no.

"Then you and Jim can ride the ATVs!"

"Definite no on that!" I quickly countered. After many years as editor of a parenting magazine and receiving a plethora of press releases from safety organizations of all sorts proclaiming ATVs the deathtrap of all deathtraps, my invitation to hop on a deathtrap just for the heck of it was DE-CLINED. No ATVs for me. Or Jim.

"Well, you can sit in the hot tub."

We have a hot tub...that we never use...and recently emptied because we never use it. Not a big draw for either of us.

"Jim can shoot things! We have a shooting range and everything you can imagine to shoot with. Manly violent stuff Jim will like."

Jim with a gun? Now THAT is scary?

"And we have horses! Do you like horses?"

Of course I like horses. Who doesn't like horses?

"And would you get on one?"

Umm...maybe.

I texted her a few days ago. Yes, we'll come this weekend, I told her.

And, yes, I'll ride a horse. Which I've not done since the late '90s when a family trip to Estes Park included a horseback-riding excursion. I'm crossing my fingers she'll saddle up one that's more of the walkie-walkie not trit-trot-trit-trot-gallopy-gallopy-gallopy sort.

And, yes, Jim will shoot things, I added. Maybe. (He has no idea I told her yes on that one. The shooting range will be a test of possibly unrealized machismo; this paragraph a test to see if he reads to the end of my posts.)

"Good. Then he can go on an ATV ride, too," she offered. "A sissy one."

We'll see—on all counts.

I'll keep you posted on all counts.

Including whether I chicken out and sit in the hot tub instead.

photo: stock.xchng/jdrjosh

Today's question:

What are your plans for this weekend?