Feast or famine: The plight of the long-distance grandma

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My grandsons and I had a week-long visit the end of June, at my place. When they left for home, there were no plans in place for visiting again. No plans to visit before Halloween, nor for Thanksgiving, nor for Christmas. Even my annual week of care giving each January when Megan and Preston head off to one of Preston's conferences was off the books.

That is one long stretch—the longest yet in my four years of grandparenting—of having no contact with Bubby, no contact with Mac. Which broke my heart.

Well, my heart is now repaired. And full. And looking forward to not just one trip to see Bubby and Mac in the next couple months, but three. That's right, three!

You see, after being pretty darn bummed about having no plans in place for visiting and the famine we faced, Jim and I decided to just go for it. We booked tickets to visit the desert the first part of October.

Then, lo and behold, just days later I was offered an awesome opportunity with a popular maker of electronic toys, games, and learning gadgets for kiddos. I'd be given great products to share with my grandsons and their friends. I, of course, jumped at the chance. Thing is, my grandsons and their friends live more than 800 miles away. And the introduction of the products had to be done by the end of August.

So guess what? I booked another trip to see my grandsons. For the end of August. (And I'll share details of the affair soon after.)

And trip No. 3?

Well, as many of you know, Megan has gone back to work, back to teaching. Full time. Which can be a challenge at times. Turns out that works to my benefit. Her most pressing challenge is that near the end of October, Megan has school conferences. Which means Bubby, who attends the school at which Megan teaches, has no school that week. Which also means he'd have to join Mac at the daycare center each and every day of that conference week. Which, as you may have guessed, would cost a heck of a lot of money. More money, in fact, than flying Gramma—that'd be me, a freelancer who can take my work with me wherever I go!—down to the desert to care for the boys during conference week.

Megan asked if I'd be up to it. I answered yes. Preston booked tickets—for my third visit to see my grandsons in a two-month period.

A far different scenerio than what I'd imagined as Bubby and Mac and their parents flew away from the mountains and back to the desert at the end of June.

A feast or famine affair, for sure, when it comes to seeing my beloved boys.

Thing is, any time I'm with my grandsons, it's not only a feast of hugs, kisses, silliness, and fun, it's a feast of photos. I stock up on as many photos as I can, to get me through until the next visit. Photos to look at myself, photos to share with friends and family, photos to share here.

Now, as I anticipate another visit—another week-long photo shoot, as Megan says—in mere weeks, I realize I have literally thousands of photos left from our time together in June that I've not yet shared. So today I'm sharing some of my favorites. Okay, I'm sharing lots of my favorites, served up collage-style.

Enjoy this feast of photos! Leave room for seconds, though, as I'll surely be dishing out more soon, to ensure all leftovers are gone before the next round is ready.

Today's question:

What's the longest you've gone without seeing one of your grandchildren or children?

Brusha, brusha, brusha

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I receive hundreds of press releases in my Grandma's Briefs mailbox each week. I get lots of info on lots of things: good things, scary things, important things, fun things, nifty-gadgety things. And more often than you might think, bizarro things that make me wonder why in the world the PR folks thought I'd appreciate such information.

One of the recent scary-but-important things I received was a press release relaying the information that, according to top U.S. dental associations, the United States is experiencing a resurgence in childhood tooth decay. An especially interesting stat was that dental disease is now the top chronic health problem for children, per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

BUBBY'S FIRST DENTIST VISITThe news made me thankful Bubby recently had his first dental visit, where he, his pearly whites, and his teeth-brushing techniques were given an A for effort.

Part of the reason dental disease is such a problem nowadays, according to the information, lies in the fact many parents don’t think baby teeth are important, as they’ll be replaced by a child’s permanent teeth. Also, some pediatricians—my grandsons’ included—typically recommend a child first visit the dentist at three years of age. Dental associations, though, have recently updated their recommendation for dentist visits, saying it should happen once the very first tooth erupts.

Which means Bubby, at four years old and with a mouthful of teeth, was way late in getting to the dentist. And that even Mac, at 13 months but well on his way to a full mouth, needs to get in the dentist's chair pronto.

Dental care is a parent's duty, not a grandparent's. In light of the stats and the updated info, though, here are a few ways grandparents can help promote good brushing habits and cavity prevention in their grandchildren:

• Encourage parents (without overstepping your boundaries, of course) to take the kiddos to the dentist as soon as that first tooth is celebrated.

• Be sure grandchildren brush morning and night when staying at your house. Have fun (and spare) toothbrushes on hand, as well as flavored toothpastes that appeal to the little ones. Perhaps make a game of it and brush together. Also, be sure to supervise the older ones and do the actual brushing for little ones.

• When seeking small gift ideas, consider giving new toothbrushes and toothpastes featuring a child’s favorite characters. Or maybe a battery powered one, if a grandchild doesn’t have one at home.

• Limit candy, soda, and sweet treats that aren’t good for teeth.

• Same goes for fast food and processed foods, which are typically high in sugar.

• Never share eating utensils with children as that can transfer cavity-producing bacteria from your mouth to theirs.

• Keep on the lookout for tooth decay and halitosis (bad breath). If noticed, mention it—again, tactfully—to Mom or Dad.

• Read books together that focus on good dental habits. Consider ABC Dentist: Healthy Teeth from A to Z by Harriet Ziefert as well as the numerous books in which favorite characters—Dora the Explorer, Berenstain Bears, Elmo, Spongebob—visit the dentist.

Unless you’re in the dental field, you probably don’t spend a lot of time focusing on the dental care of your grandchildren. Grandparents are in a perfect position to help promote good brushing habits and cavity prevention, though, so it can't hurt and will surely help.

Bubby and Mac best prepare to get a fair share of toothbrushes from Gramma going forward. Though I have a feeling gifts of toothbrushes will be accepted by my grandsons in a manner similar to that of Bubby's robot dishes.

If nothing else, they'll have healthy teeth to grit while expressing their (forced) appreciation for Gramma's gifts.

Today’s question:

What's the going rate per tooth from the Tooth Fairy in your family, in the past or nowadays?

Right versus real

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Bubby and Mac had the privilege of going to California last week. They saw the ocean for the first time, frolicking on the beach and splashing in the waves.

They visited Disneyland for the first time, experiencing the thrills and chills of one of the happiest places on earth. They rode rides at the recently opened Cars Land.

I'm so jealous.

I'm not jealous because I want to have fun in the sun or meet up with Lightning McQueen and the gang in Radiator Springs. I'm jealous because it was the other grandparents who treated my grandsons to the grand weekend trip.

I know, I know, I know: That's not right.

But that's real.

Believe me, I wish I didn't feel that way.

I wish I didn't look at the pictures Megan posted on Facebook—and graciously granted me permission to use—through the green-tinged lens of a jealous grandma.

I don't want to be jealous. At all. Bubby and Mac had the time of their lives, and I'm ever so happy for that, for them. I'm ever so happy the other grandparents are able and willing to do things Jim and I can't.

Yet, I'm jealous.

That doesn't mean, though, that I wish the trip wouldn't have happened. Or that it would have been a bust, that the good times hadn't rolled for one and all. I truly don't begrudge the boys, their parents, their other grandparents the delightful trip, filled with new thrills and chills and colorful fun beyond compare.

Being jealous also doesn't mean I gloated over the not-so delightful parts of their trip. The forgotten sunscreen and the subsequent burned grandbabies. Or the terrifying moments for Bubby when he rode a thrill ride with heart-pounding thrills he's not yet ready for.

Or the equally terrifying moments for Mac when he came face-to-face with the silly-but-oh-so-scary-to-a-one-year-old Sully.

I didn't and don't gloat over such things. I don't want my grandsons to experience pain or terror. Ever. I want nothing but good times, delightful times for them. And I'm genuinely thankful and appreciative their other grandparents—who are good and kind and loving people—help provide rich, exciting, interesting experiences for our mutual grandchildren, so the boys will lead rich, exciting, interesting lives.

That's what I want for the boys. Always. Without a doubt.

Still, I'm jealous.

That doesn't make me bad.

That makes me human.

Today's question:

When were you last jealous of the other grandparents—or your child's in-laws, if you're not a grandparent?

Friday field trip: Play Area at Focus on the Family Welcome Center

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I'm not a follower or affiliate of Focus on the Family. Fortunately, you need not be either of those to enjoy the free kid's play area in the ministry's Welcome Center in Colorado Springs. Everyone is welcome, regardless of one's religious or spiritual beliefs—and there's no proselytizing of even the slightest degree. Here, the focus really is on fun, and it's a great way for kids to burn off some energy in a clean, cool environment.

On Bubby and Mac's most recent stay with Gramma, they got to visit the play area not just once, but twice, thanks to a playdate there with Megan's long-time friend Amy just a couple days after they spent an afternoon there with Gramma, PawDad and Aunt B.

The list of things to do at the Welcome Center's play area is long (see below). For Bubby, though, the fun typically begins with a climb aboard the airplane.  

Mac likes to stay busy crawling through the numerous tunnels throughout the place. 

There's a Narnia Adventure room to explore—with the entrance being, naturally, through a wardrobe.

Refreshment from the Whit's End Soda Shoppe capped off our recent afternoon adventure.

In between the airplane and the ice cream, there was no shortage of fun for Bubby and Mac.

At ages one and four, my grandsons most enjoy the colorful Camp-What-A-Nut room, designed with safety in mind and specifically for kids through age four. There are plenty of options, though, for kids of all ages, including:

• Kid's Korner climbing structure featuring the A-Bend-A-Go three-story corkscrew slide. Riders must be at least 43 ½ inches tall and no taller than 5'9" so Bubby has yet to try this one. We begged but the ride operator stood firm in adhering to the policy.

• The Discovery Emporium, featuring a puppet stage and reading area.

• Two birthday party rooms with bright murals painted on the walls. The room with the firetruck and more on the walls was empty when we visited, so Mac and Bubby enjoyed some free roaming and dancing in the festive space.

• The KYDS Radio room where kids can record their own voices on an Adventures in Odyssey episode and take home the complimentary CD.

Interested in visiting the Play Area at Focus on the Family? Find details here:

Focus on the Family Welcome Center • 8685 Explorer Dr., Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Today's question:

What fun do you have planned for the weekend?

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work she'll go

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My daughter Megan, mother to my grandsons, is going back to work. She was and is an early childhood educator. After taking one year off of work to try her hand at being a stay-at-home mother to Bubby and Mac, she's decided to go back to work. Full time.

I'm not thrilled.

But I support her.

One hundred percent.

Megan needs to work. Not because her household needs the money, but because Megan needs to do and be what she is. And what she is is the very most awesome teacher of young ones. A very most awesome teacher who, in order to be the very most awesome of mothers, too, needs to do what she—without a doubt—has been called to do.

This wasn't an easy decision for Megan. She wanted desperately to be the kind of mom who stays at home with her sons, who does crafts and activities and outings with them. And is content with that. She tried her hardest—her busy calendar and plethora of Pinterest projects around the house and put into use for parties in the past year prove it.

But she wasn't content. And that's understandable. Squishing yourself into a box in which others want you to fit makes for a most uncomfortable position. And a most unhappy mommy.

By going back to work as a teacher, Megan will be a better mommy. A content mommy. As her mother, I want Megan to be content. A content mommy, a content teacher. Thankfully Preston agrees, supports her return to work and the extra work that might make for him, too.

So why am I not thrilled?

Well, I must be honest: It's because I want my grandsons to be with their mother. At least most of the time. Most of Megan's time come August 1, though, will be dedicated to full-time teacher mode, as no part-time first-grade teaching opportunities currently exist in her town.

A part-time teaching position would be best for all concerned, Megan and I both agree. But this full-time opportunity, despite the challenges that will accompany it, will be far better for her, her kids, her household than the full-time mommy gig she worked—and really did often enjoy, I must add—this past year.

The full-time mommy gig is hard. It can be frustrating, endless, monotonous, thankless. Most importantly, it's not for everyone. I'm glad Megan realizes that, accepts that instead of trying to be someone she's not. (As well as someone who's not putting to use that expensive private-school education many of us are still paying on, if you'd like to know another brutal truth.)

Yes, part-time work might provide a little more balance in Megan's wants and needs, but a full-time position as a first-grade teacher is what she has to work with. And she will indeed make it work—while making sure things work for my grandsons, too.

Bubby managed to survive and thrive with Mommy working part-time during his first couple of years. This won't be all that different for Mac, as his hours beyond those Megan worked as a part-timer with Bubby will be spent napping at a well-researched and thoroughly vetted daycare center. As long as the bed's comfy and cool, Mac likely won't give a hoot if it's Mommy or daycare personnel twiddling their thumbs in the next room while he sleeps the entire afternoon, as he's wont to do. I have no doubt Mac will survive and thrive, too. Probably even better than he might have if Mommy didn't work, thanks to the social interaction he'll get with kiddos his own age at the daycare center.

And Bubby? Well, Bubby will be delighted to see Mommy off and on throughout the day as he will attend preschool at the very same school where his Mommy's working. When Megan gave him the news she was returning to teaching, a big ol' smile spread across Bubby's face, she reported, as he expressed genuine pleasure at hearing Mommy's good news.

Bubby's reaction to the news of Megan returning to her true calling is admirable. And it's how all of her family, friends, fans should be responding—by being genuinely supportive. A mommy's got to do what a mommy's got to do. And what Megan Mommy's got to do is get into the classroom and be awesome with other kids. So she can be awesome at home with her own kids, my grandkids.

What more could a mother want for her daughter?

What more could a grandma want for her grandsons?

Congratulations, Megan! I applaud you. I support you. One hundred percent.

Today's question:

Removing the child factor and what you did/do as a working or stay-at-home mom, would you rather work outside the home full time, part time, or not at all?