Two thumbs up

As I've mentioned before, we are a movie-going family. We love movies and we love going to them together, sharing the cinematic experience.

Bubby went to his first movie with me and Jim (and Megan and Preston, of course) when he was just days old. We saw "Wanted" with Angelina Jolie. He did great: no crying, no screaming, no fussing. Grandma didn't do as well. "Wanted" is an insanely loud film, with gunfire, explosions and more, and I spent the entire time worrying that we had made a huge mistake in taking Bubby with us and that we'd ruined our brand-new grandson's hearing beyond repair. But he seems to have done just fine with it and (as usual) my fears were unfounded.

We also took Bubby to his second movie: "The Dark Knight." Again, it was a loud movie. But as he was just one year old, he did okay with it, pretty much sleeping through the whole thing. I do believe Megan had to do a little walking around with him, but nothing outrageous, nothing to curb the movie going.

So we took him again. To see the last "Indiana Jones" movie. No major problems there. Bubby seemed to do quite well with the adult fare. Although from that point on, Bubby hasn't joined us -- or his parents -- for a film. Common sense prevailed over our movie fanaticism, and we didn't want to reach a point where Bubby would actually cry during a movie and upset other viewers who had paid a high price to watch a big show on the big screen.

This past weekend, while Jim and visited for Bubby's second birthday, we decided to forego the adult fare and give Bubby a shot at seeing a film on his level ... with popcorn and all ... and trillions of other kids in attendence. We went to see "Toy Story 3". And Bubby loved it!

He patiently awaited the beginning of "the big show," sitting nice and tall --and quiet -- in his booster seat:

Once the big show began, he watched ... and watched ... and watched ...

... until he didn't want to watch anymore. But in all fairness, his antsy-pants didn't kick in until about 15 minutes before the movie ended. And he had Grandpa to visit when the antsy-pants kept him from sitting in his seat.

All in all, Bubby's first real movie-going experience was a success. This final scene says it all:

Yep, a true success! 

Next up: subtitles! He's already such an advanced movie-goer that I don't see it being long before subtitled fare is on the bill.

Looks like we'll be keeping this kid in the family!

Today's question:

What's the first movie you remember seeing at the theater or drive-in?

My answer: "Benji" on a school field trip.

Five grandparenting mistakes

I recently read an article on Grandparents.com about some of the mistakes made by grandparents. Titled "5 Mistakes Even Good Grandparents Make," the article warns Grandma and Grandpa to watch out for these issues that mar a near-perfect grandparenting record:

1. Encouraging tantrums
2. Agreeing to do too much
3. Getting frustrated
4. Falling for the hype
5. Breaking too many rules

Well guess what? I don't do ANY of those!

Does that make me the perfect grandparent? Not by a long shot.

What it makes me is a long-distance grandma. A long-distance grandma physically incapable of committing such mistakes. For each of those mistakes -- with the exception of No. 4, but I'll get to that -- requires a grandparent to see his or her grandchild on a regular basis. And I definitely don't see Bubby often enough to rack up the faux pas, at least not those presented by the article.

To wit:

I've never committed No. 1 because Bubby is the perfect child who never, ever throws a tantrum. Okay, that's not true. But because I don't see him often, he's usually on his best behavior when he's around me and I can honestly say I've never seen him throw a tantrum. So I certainly can't encourage them.

The No. 2 mistake is impossible for me to make because I simply cannot agree to do too much. Believe me: I'd love to babysit too much and all the other "too much" issues of which the article speaks, but unless Megan were willing to send Bubby to me as an unaccompanied minor a few times a week -- or pay for me to fly to the desert a few times a week -- there's no way in cuss I can do too much.

No. 3? Well, the article notes how easy it is for a grandparent to become frustrated upon having to hear an Elmo CD again and again and again. I don't get to hear Elmo singing at all ... which presents frustration of a different sort, but not to the degree nor manner of which the article speaks. So I'm clear on No. 3.

No. 4 is one I could commit from afar. But I don't. I'm not one to fall for the hype when it comes to buying Bubby high-tech or uber-educational toys. In fact, I'm probably guilty of getting him oddball creative crap, er, cuss, that most grandmas may not consider. Witness the Bilibo I'm getting Bubby for his birthday. Actually, I've bought him two Bilibos for his birthday. Yeah, I choose weird gifts. Sorry Bubby, sorry Megan. But at least this grandma's not committing Grandparenting Mistake No. 4.

And No. 5, the mother of all grandmother mistakes, doesn't happen either. I see Bubby rarely enough that I don't feel compelled to break all the rules and try to instill the "There are no rules with Grandma" rule. I just go with the flow of the family and do what Bubby is used to. No sense upsetting the norm just because Grandma's around for a few short days is my thinking. Now if Bubby lived nearby in the mountains -- or when there are local grandchildren added to the family tree -- things may be entirely different. But I'd never admit that, of course.

On the surface it appears that I surely must be the perfect grandparent.

More truthfully, though, I'm just mistake-free by default, by a technicality, by 819 miles in between me and my Bubby.

And I have no doubt at all that I'm screwing up in hundreds of other ways, the ways long-distance grandparents screw up.

Hmmm ... Now that I think of it, that is the list I should be consulting. But I've searched and there doesn't seem to be one anywhere online ... yet!

Coming soon to Grandma's Briefs: 5 Mistakes Even Good Long-Distance Grandparents Make. You won't want to miss it!

Today's question:

What's one mistake you've made in the past six months that you're willing to admit?

My answer: I burned Jim's bacon on Sunday, Father's Day, his Father's Day Breakfast bacon. He likes it crispy and I went a little too far in trying to please him.

Bubby's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Today is Bubby's birthday. He's two. Instead of partying til the cows come home, though -- or the javelinas, as the case may be in the desert -- Bubby is recovering from what Megan said he surely must consider the very worst day of his life.

Bubby woke up early Wednesday morning with a fever of 104.7. That's one-hundred-four-point-seven! Panic level. Mama Megan called the doctor and the doctor said, "Get him in."

So in Bubby and Megan went, and for the next several hours Bubby underwent a strep test, blood tests, chest X-rays, and two attempts at collecting urine via a catheter. Poor baby. In fact, toward the end of the long, long visit, Bubby expressed his dismay to Megan by telling his mommy, "Baby sad. Baby sad."

Right off the bat, Bubby tested positive for strep. The quest for proof of a UTI causing the high fever went unresolved as the timing of the catheter insertion never seemed to coincide with the call of nature. The results from the blood tests and chest X-rays were ordered STAT and sure to arrive within two hours, Megan was told. But apparently STAT doesn't mean what it used to, so after spending about five hours at the doctor's office and various labs, Megan was told to just take Bubby home and she'd be called with the results.

Just before 5 p.m. the call came and the diagnosis was given. Turns out Bubby has something in one of his lungs called "air-space disease" that either has developed or may develop into pneumonia. To me, "air-space disease" sounds a little like some covert operation NORAD should be involved in, but I guess that's not the case. According to Wikipedia, air-space disease "is a general term that described edema and exudates in the airspaces of the lung (the acini and alveoli)." Clear as mud, I say.

Seems the blood tests confirm there's something definitely going on, as they show "a high number of the blood cells that fight infection."

Treatment is the same as if Bubby indeed has pneumonia: round after round of amoxycillin, Motrin and Tylenol. Of course, Bubby didn't want to take the first dose, so Megan followed the technique of effective mothers throughout history: She threatened him. "If you don't take this," she told him, "we will have to go right back to the doctor." Bubby swallowed the yucky stuff in no time flat.

End of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Sort of. That night wasn't all that wonderful either, Megan reported.

That was Wednesday, this is Friday. Today Bubby returns to the doctor for a follow-up. I'm crossing my fingers it's a far less painful day than Wednesday. And I'm crossing my fingers Bubby will be up and at 'em by next week. For that's when the real birthday partying til the javelinas come home -- or the two-year-olds wear out -- is scheduled.

And that's when Grandma and Grandpa are scheduled to arrive to hug and kiss and cuddle a hopefully no longer sad baby, and to wish him the most wonderful, pleasant, all happy, very good birthday ever!

Happy birthday to the bright and beautiful Bubby who totally rocks this grandma's world!

Today's question:

What's the worst medical procedure you've undergone?

How to survive being a long-distance grandma ... of a baby

Bubby celebrates his second birthday this week, which means I've made it a full two years playing grandma from 819 miles away. At first I didn't think I would make it -- at least not without a maxed-out credit card from hundreds of flights to visit Bubby or hundreds of visits to a therapist to help me deal with the distance.

It was upon learning I'd be a grandma that I fully grasped the definition of the word 'bittersweet.' I was thrilled to have a grandbaby on the way, but it literally hurt my heart to know I'd be only a minor player in the baby's daily life, due to distance. My search for books and websites related to my plight turned up primarily information on how to stay connected to grandchildren of a more advanced age, very little on connecting with a newborn or baby.

So I plodded along, making up my own rules, my own way of coping with the distance between myself and my newborn grandson. Now that time has passed and I'm a seasoned long-distance grandma of a baby -- a baby who has grown into a toddler -- I feel qualified to pass along a few tips on how I survived the less-than-ideal situation, in hopes of helping other grandmas dealt the same bittersweet hand I was two years ago.

Get there often ... with permission. Visit the websites of the airlines that provide service between you and the little one, then sign up for their newsletters highlighting special deals. Take advantage of those deals, visiting as often as your budget -- and the baby's parents -- allow. Never, ever surprise the little family with a visit, though, as there's nothing more unnerving than unexpected guests, even when it's Grandma.

Use that webcam. Most newer computers come with a built-in webcam; learn to use it to Skype on a regular basis. Sure, the baby can't interact much in the first year or so, but you can see live shots of the little one. And slowly but surely that baby will sprout into a toddler and be happy to see Grandma's smiling face on the monitor. It's the next best thing to being there.

The telephone still comes in handy. Mom and Dad are busy raising Junior and won't have as much time to sit in front of the webcam as you'd like. So telephone calls are great for quickly touching base and keeping your voice top of mind for the baby -- as long as Mom or Dad don't mind holding the receiver up to the ear of the oblivious kiddo.

Can't beat Picasa for pictures. Save Mom and Dad some time -- and some long-winded begging from you for photos of the baby -- by encouraging the use of Picasa. If they'll upload photos on a regular basis, you can download them to your computer then print any and all those you want for framing and displaying, all without Mom or Dad having to pay for printing and/or postage. Picasa also makes it possible to display the photos on your computer desktop. I'd be lost without Picasa ... or at least just really sad and lonely for my Bubby.

Send pictures of yourself to be placed in baby's view. As soon as Bubby was born, I got busy creating a photo frame to be placed in his room so he could see it on a regular basis. The words "My Grandma & Grandpa" outline the photo of me and Jim, providing a constant reminder of Grandma and Grandpa, despite the miles between us.

A mommy or daddy blog ups the ante. Some grandparents advise others to get on Facebook with their adult children to make it simple to share photos and news of the grandkids. To me, that's not private enough; I don't like that all the "friends" on either end, some not really friends at all, just mere acquaintances, can see everything shared. Yeah, privacy settings can be set to the max, but it's much more private and personal when Mom or Dad create a blog for sharing the news with real friends and family. Blogger.com is an easy and free place to blog and integrates well with Picasa. Plus, a blog creates a wonderful record of the baby's growth.

Give them space, stay outta their face. The baby is the most important thing in lives of the new mom and dad right now, not pleasing grandma. Despite all the opportunities for making yourself a part of the baby's life, don't make a nuisance of yourself just because you simply can't get enough of that kid. Be happy with what you're given, and don't take offense if it's not as much as you'd like. 

Get busy. As noted above, you don't want to be a thorn in the side of the new parents, and the best way to avoid being one is to get on with your life. Find other things to keep you busy, other things to take your mind off missing your grandchild. Racking up experiences unrelated to grandparenting makes you a much more interesting -- and happy -- person, which goes a long way in making the moments you do have with your grandchild far more enjoyable.

Being a long-distance grandma of a baby is harder on the heart than it looks, but you can survive. I did. There really is no other choice. But take heart that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel, for the older your grandchild gets, the easier it is to stay connected, despite those unforgiving miles in between.

Today's question:

What do you consider the ideal distance for adult children to live from their parents?

My answer: I definitely don't want my kids living next door or even on the same block -- we all need a little space -- but my preference would be for my daughters to live a max of a one-hour drive away. Hey, I can dream!

Photo replay

Bubby requested a special Skype session with Grandma and Grandpa this past week, specifically to show us the caterpillar he made at day camp.

June 10, 2010

Today's question:

What is the best part of your Sunday routine?

My answer: When Jim and I sit at opposite ends of the dining room table and peruse the newspaper while sipping our morning coffee, swapping sections as we complete them.

Skyping 'bout school

(Not from Skype, but the happy face that filled the screen just the same.)

Bubby is attending "school" this week, participating in the summer camp for two-year-olds at church while Megan works the VBS. He loves the class, the interaction with the "teacher" and other kids, and he had lots to share with us about his day during our Skype session Tuesday night.

First he held up to the web camera his newly planted flower: a Play-Doh container packed with dirt, and somewhere within, a seed he's hoping will bloom. Relying on Megan to translate, Bubby told Grandma and Grandpa all about the "dirt," the "flower" and "water." We kinda sorta understood those words ... as long as Megan repeated them for us.

Next up was a picture of which Bubby was oh-so proud: A popsicle-stick frame embellished with glued-on buttons perfectly complementing a plant picture cut from a magazine. High art for a toddler!

Seems that "plants" was the theme of the day, and Bubby learned lots about plants in his few hours of "school." And he was more focused than usual during the Skype session, as he wanted to be sure Grandma and Grandpa heard -- and saw -- all he had gleaned from the day.

It was pretty exciting on our end to get our first glimpse of what it will be like when Bubby calls us up after a day of real school, to animatedly share via Skype the news -- and art projects -- of the day.

Only thing is, Bubby and Grandpa will have to come up with some other male-bonding motion by that time, as doing "knucks" at the end of the conversation already rocks and knocks the computer monitor on Bubby's end. I can only imagine what it will do when it's a five-year-old -- or older -- punching fists on the screen with Grandpa!

Today's question:

When recalling doing art projects as a child, what's one thing that stands out in your mind?

My answer: The smell of the paste. I remember the tubs of paste with a stick applicator attached to the lid and trying to spread the goo where it needed to go. Of course it never applied smoothly, thanks to the rigid stick, so cutouts glued to paper always had a lump here and there. I loved squishing down those bumps of glue, releasing the sweet scent of a masterpiece in the making.

Bikes, trikes and big boy beds

Bubby tackled two big milestones this past week: getting his first bike and moving out of the crib and into a big boy bed.

The bike, actually a trike, was a birthday gift from his paternal grandparents.

He's still getting the hang of the coordination for the pedaling, Megan said. But I have no doubt that he'll have it down in no time!

The move from the crib to the big boy bed didn't actually require a move at all, just a conversion of his crib. (Smart designing of cribs nowadays, wouldn't ya say!)

Megan said the first night went fantastic. She told Bubby it was bedtime, he crawled up in place, and he stayed there all night long! There was no crying, no waking in the night, no falling out and bonking his head.

That shouldn't be too surprising, of course, because I've probably mentioned before that Bubby is absolutely perfect!

With the exception, I should add, of the position in which he sleeps!

Today's question:

TGIF! What are your plans for the weekend?