25 things grandmas supposedly say that I've never heard fellow grandmothers utter

25 things grandmas supposedly say that I've never heard fellow grandmothers utter

My husband's niece delivered a beautiful — and big, 10-plus pounds! — baby boy last week. When I saw photos she'd shared of him on Instagram, I commented, "What a precious little love bug!"

To which I immediately thought to myself, "What a freakin' grandma thing to say."

I considered adding another comment cracking on my initial comment but figured what the heck, I am a grandma, and that's just the kind of thing grandmas say.

Which led me in my ever inquisitive way to soon after google "things grandmas say."

The results were sometimes hilarious, sometimes...

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The F-ing guide to grandparenting

how to be a grandparent

Without consistent commitment to the use of certain F-words, where might a grandparent be?

Not nearly as effective — or memorable — if you ask me.

Though many grandparents eliminate F-words from their vocabularies (at least when the G-kids are around) or ban the use of them from the kids themselves, I feel quite strongly that F-words should be accessed and emphasized. As often as possible. Especially when grandchildren are around.

Following are a few such F-words, five favorites of mine I focus on and do my best to use regularly in an effort to make a memorable impact...

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7 benefits of being a long-distance grandparent

I am a long-distance grandma. Have been from the beginning of my grandma gig.

The first few years I moaned and groaned ceaselessly about the miles separating me and my sweeties.

I'm now nearly nine years into grandmahood. In that time I've thankfully learned there is indeed — unbelievable as I first thought it might be — a bright side to my grandbabies living so far from me.

Following are a few such perks on which fellow long-distance grandparents just might agree.

long-distance grandparent 

 

ONE
Bathroom breaks at my house are a breeze.
I never need straddle a step stool when using the toilet. Nor do I have to question who left the seat up as only two...

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I say that shutting up is hard to do

Dear Mr. Sedaka,

You were so right. I know that it's true. Breaking up is hard to do. Especially for teens, when true love seems a fickle, heartbreaking foe.

I do know how difficult breaking up can be. I've been there, done that. Long, long ago, admittedly one of the billions of boomers who once sang away heartbreak blues crooning along to your catchy, comforting tune.

I'm decades removed from being a youngster longing for love. And in the years since breakups with beaus broke my heart, I've found something more difficult to do than breaking up, Mr. Sedaka. And that's shutting up.

Trust me: It's waaaay harder to do than breaking up.

I'm not talking about shutting up regarding social or personal injustice. No one should ...

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On adult children: Learning the boundaries of communication (guest post)

Dear readers: This guest post was written by my grandma friend and fellow GRANDparent Network member Donne Davis of GaGa Sisterhood. Thank you so much for sharing this wisdom on the tricky-at-times relationship between parents and their adult children, Donne.

mother and adult daughter

When it comes to communicating with your adult children, where do you get stuck? I posed this question to the 25 GaGas attending our January 15 meeting and added, is it around discipline, visitation, values or boundaries?

All of the above, and more, they answered. One member said: “All I have to do is open my mouth and my son misinterprets what I’m saying.” Another joked: “OMG! Just asking ‘how are you’ can trigger...

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5 reasons I like to play games with my grandkids

My grandmothers never played games with me. My daughters' grandmothers never played games with them, either.

Considering the grandmas who came before me, the ones from whom I most learned what grandmothering looks like, I'm unsure how I became a game-playing grandma. But I am.

And I love it. Here's why:

 

I enjoy watching them learn.
Kids learn so much from playing games. They improve motor skills and ...

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7 things long-distance grandparents do that local grandparents don't

My name is Lisa and I'm a long-distance grandparent.

My grandsons live more than 800 miles away.

Following are a smattering of things — seven, to be exact — that I and other long-distance grandparents do that grandparents who live near their grandkiddos likely don't.

(Featuring photos from my grandsons' most recent visit in November.)

long-distance grandparents

SEVEN
Stock up on Priority Mail Flat-Rate shipping boxes.

The mailman delivers empty boxes to my house. Free...

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5 BEs from a grandma on composing meaningful gift cards and inscriptions

The gift-giving season is upon us, and many grandparents like to include a meaningful, memorable message with the gifts they give their loved ones.

Whether you plan on crafting quips for gift cards or unforgettable inscriptions in gift books, here are my top five tips for meaningful and memorable — as well as short and sweet — sentiments for your sweeties.

tips for writing to grandchildren 

ONE

Be yourself. Use words and phrases you...

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Seeking practical, finding poignant

The latch on the door to the cabinet where I keep my kitchen garbage needs repair. It won't stay closed. And though I know it won't stay closed without me fiddling and finagling the broken latch to keep it shut, I open the darn thing each time I need to throw something away.

With Jim still as broken as the door — hobbling about on crutches and currently unable to help with even the smallest home repair — I'm determined to fix the thing myself.

"Why don't you just switch the garbage to the other side?" one of my daughters asked... after she'd opened it when I warned her not to as I had just finagled the thing shut... again.

It doesn't work that way, I told her. I've opened that door a billion times to throw something away. Moving the garbage can to the other side won't change my habit of opening the current side. I have no doubt I would still open the darn broken door out of habit, still have to fiddle and finagle the door to stay shut.

The other night I told Jim I was going to run to Lowe's to get a new latch. "Don't!" he said. "I'm pretty sure I have another in the garage, in one of those drawers."

Unable to go through any of "those drawers" himself, I headed out to the garage yesterday morning to look for the spare cabinet latch.

After an hour or so, I came back with this...

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