Shared pleasures and treasures

As grandparents, I think it's important to not only explore and enjoy the interests of the grandchild — like the hours we recently dedicated to trucks, Bubby's favorite thing in the world — but also for grandparents to share their interests with the grandchild. Sharing such things strengthens the grandparent/grandchild bond as the youngster learns more about what makes his grandparents tick. Depending on the interest, it also can lead to a lifelong shared interest, shared joy.

One of my favorite things is books, so I shared plenty with Bubby while he was here. We read My Name is Not Alexander, Share With Brother, Amazon Alphabet and more, including Richard Scarry's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go, which killed two birds with one stone: my love for books and Bubby's love for trucks.

One of Jim's favorite things is coins. Collecting them, counting them, sharing them, and searching for them. With Bubby.

In our back yard, Jim buried handfuls of coins specifically for "treasure hunting" with Bubby — an activity they've enjoyed together since Bubby was able to walk. Bubby delights in unearthing the "treasures" and taking them home to add to his piggy bank.

SORRY! VIDEO DISAPPEARED IN BLOG REDESIGN!

Without a doubt, treasure hunting makes for a far more exciting slideshow than book reading might. Plus, there are only so many photos of me reading in my jammies first thing in the morning — sans makeup — and even fewer I'm willing to post for people to actually see.

Today's question:

What interest do you enjoy sharing with others?

9 books I own - but won't read

I may have mentioned a time or two that I have an addiction ... to books. I buy them, collect them, ask for them as gifts, eagerly request them for reviewing.

Unfortunately I don't read them ... at least not at a rate equal to the rate at which they fill up my shelves.

I do plan to read them eventually. At least most of them.

Here, though, are nine books I own that I've not read. Nine books I likely never will read. Nine books I can't get rid of ... simply because they're old and I like the way they look on my shelf ... even unread.

(Call me shallow, if you wish; you're probably right.)

1. The Complete Plays and Poems of William Shakespeare edited by William Allan Neilson and Charles Jarvis Hill (1942)

2. A Treasury of American Folklore edited by B.A. Botkin with a foreward by Carl Sandburg (1951)

3. The Philosophy of Man by Henri Renard, S.J. (1948)

4. Home Geography by C.C. Long (1894)

5. Guilderoy by Ouida (1903)

6. Phonology and Orthoepy by Albert Salisbury (1907)

7. The Lost Prince by Frances Hodgson Burnett (1915)

8. Lorna Doone by R.D. Blackmore (1906)

9. Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell (1964)

Those aren't the only unread oldies on my shelf; there are plenty more (e.g. Character Reading for Fun and Popularity). But because I like to make list posts that contain 9 things, those are all I'm sharing this time around.

Today's question:

What book(s) do you own that you've not read and possibly never will?

Worth the time?

  PLUS    EQUALS 

We're all busy, we're all trying to fit 26 hours of activity into the allotted 24. And in that flurry of fun are lots of things we do -- or at least that I do -- that I really don't think are worth the time it takes to do them.

Making coffee? So worth the time. Making the bed? Not so much. (Luckily bed-making is Jim's job, not mine.)

The ultimate example of something that I consider not worth the time it takes to do it is the Thanksgiving meal. I enjoy cooking. I like making yummy stuff for my family, immediate and extended. But gee whiz! You spend weeks planning and shopping for it, days cooking for it, hours getting it on the table and POOF! It's over in less than one hour, sometimes even quicker than that.

So not worth the time.

Fortunately life is not a total waste of time; we're not forking out minutes without racking up emotional payoff. Indeed, there are a few things in life that, despite the hassle, despite the time investment, prove to be totally worth it.

Tuesdays at 6 p.m. is our standing Skype time with Bubby. I had purchased four picture books to be shipped from Amazon to him and four of the same books shipped to myself so I could read a book to him while Skyping. This past Tuesday was the designated day for Bubby to open the boxes and choose the first for us to share.

But Tuesday evening was crazy busy. Jim had lots to share when he got home from work, then we had even more to discuss after his telephone conversation with his out-of-state brother. Then my boss from the literacy center called with a request that caused a bit of consternation (and guilt) on my part and when I hung up with her, it was after 6 p.m.

Then the phone rang again.

It was Megan. "Umm, it's after 6 p.m. and you're not online? What's up? I'm sitting here explaining to my crying son exactly what it means to be stood up."

"Cuss!" I replied, explaining why I was running behind.

She was just kidding about Bubby crying and about making him think Grandma's a screw-up, of course, and she said we could just do it another time. For a split second I was tempted to take her up on the offer. Skyping does take up some time, which I was short on, and it is a bit of a hassle because I have to unplug my laptop from the big monitor, keyboard and mouse and move to the dining room with it so Jim can participate, as it's too crowded at my desk for the two of us.

But I had said we would Skype, that we would open the books, that we would share a story. And this grandma doesn't go back on what she says she'll do.

So we Skyped. Jim and I watched as Bubby eagerly -- but patiently -- awaited the opening of the Amazon box with the surprise goodies inside. His eyes grew bigger and bigger ... then his face lit up, his smile became a grin and he exclaimed, "Books!" All the while goosebumps covered my arms and my heart grew not just three but ten sizes that day.

I showed Bubby that Grandma has the very same books, holding each up to the webcam. He immediately selected "I Love Trucks" and off we went, sharing a story across the 819 miles between us. I read, he turned pages, Megan and Jim listened. We all laughed about cows and bunnies and trucks.

Bubby loved it. I loved it. Megan and Jim loved it, too.

Was it worth it? You bet your bippy, it was! For that, my friends, is one of the very few things in life that was, is and always will be so worth the time that it takes.

(Disclaimer: Astute regular visitors may think these Skype photos are from a previous session and you are correct! I was too busy reading -- and grinning -- to take photos of the session of which I write.)

Today's question:

What is one thing you think is definitely worth the time it takes?

Book talk

Bubby packin' books -- a gift he LOVED from my friend Debbie.I love books. My girls love books. Bubby loves books. I know LOTS of people who love books.

But the book industry is flailing. And that worries me. Mostly because I love books, my girls love books, and Bubby loves books.

(Full disclosure: It also worries me because I've got one of my books submitted to a few agents and the industry can't -- simply CAN'T -- wither down to nothing before I get one or two or ten published!)

The impetus for today's worry is information I received in a newsletter I'm subscribed to from a site called Shelf Awareness that focuses on the book industry. Here's the scary news I got yesterday (quoted directly from Shelf Awareness):

Net book sales in 2009 in the U.S. fell 1.8%, to $23.95 billion, according to estimates by the Association of American Publishers based on sales data from 86 publishers as well as on data from the Bureau of the Census. In the last seven years, the book business has had a compound annual growth rate of 1.1%.

Category	Sales	Percent Change
E-books	$313 million	176.6%
Higher ed	$4.3 billion	12.9%
Adult hardcover	$2.6 billion	6.9%
Children's/YA paperback	$1.5 billion	2.2%
Book clubs/mail-order	$588 million	−2%
Mass market paperback	$1 billion	−4%
Children's/YA hardcover	$1.7 billion	−5%
Adult paperback	$2.2 billion	−5.2%
Religious books	$659 million	−9%
Audiobooks	$192 million	−12.9%
El-hi books	$5.2 million	−13.8%

Sure, there are still millions and billions of books still being sold, but the number is decreasing. And at the rate at which it's decreasing, will Bubby have books readily available when he's an adult? Will he be able to pass them down to his grandchildren? Will the ones I've given him -- and will continue to give him -- become relics of days gone by?

That el-hi number? Those are textbooks, the books kids use in school. To think schoolbooks are decreasing at such a crazy rate is absolutely frightening.

And that number for Children's/YA hardcover? Aack! Picture books are my forte; picture books are Bubby's best friend. What's up with that?

People are still reading, obviously. The adult hardcover and higher ed numbers are encouraging. And readers are obviously snagging up those e-books like there's no tomorrow. Now I'm a fan of technology and all, but I'm a bigger fan of books -- real, live, turn the page by hand, fall asleep with it on your lap and worry about scrunching the pages books.

I'm sure books will never completely disappear. There are too many people who believe as I do that books not only fill out one's time and mind marvelously, they also fill out one's room quite nicely. You can't line the walls of the study with Kindles and Nooks.

Well, you could, but how ugly -- and expensive -- would that be?

You might as well just buy books.

Today's question:

If you were to buy any book today, what would it be?

My answer: I'd buy "The Quiet Book" by Deborah Underwood for Bubby and "Divisadero" by Michael Ondaatje for myself.

What real grandmas read (and think, and feel)

I recently received a press release for a new book on being a grandma. The book is titled "Eye of My Heart: 27 Writers Reveal the Hidden Pleasures and Perils of Being a Grandmother."

Believe it or not -- and those of you who know me and my book obsession well won't believe it -- but I have very few books about being a grandma. In fact, I have only one: "Long-Distance Grandma" by Janet Teitsort, and it's a holdover from my editing days when packages of books for review came across my desk.

I think the main reason I don't have any is because books about grandmas always look like they've been written for, by and about grandmas the age of MY grandma, not grandmas who look and act like me.

But because I'm a grandma AND a writer, the press release for "Eye of My Heart" piqued my interest and I went to the publisher's website to learn more. An abridged (by me) version of the book description from Harper Collins says:

In Eye of My Heart, twenty-seven smart, gutsy writers explode myths and stereotypes and tell the whole crazy, complicated truth about being a grandmother in today's world. Among the contributors:

Anne Roiphe learns—the hard way—to keep her mouth shut and her opinions to herself.

Elizabeth Berg marvels at witnessing her child give birth to her child.

Beverly Donofrio makes amends for her shortcomings as a teenage mother.

Jill Nelson grapples with mother-daughter tensions triggered by the birth of her grandson.

Judith Guest confesses her failed attempt to emulate her own saintly grandmother.

Sallie Tisdale pays a high price—financially and emotionally—for her fast-growing brood of grandkids.

Susan Shreve finally accepts that she's the grandmother, not the mother.

Abigail Thomas plots her escape when she can't bear to bake one more cake.

Mary Pipher explores the primal role of grandmothers in a fast-changing world.

In this groundbreaking collection, you will encounter the real stories that usually go untold. Free of platitudes and clichés, the essays in Eye of My Heart are linked by a common thread: a love for grandchildren that knows no bounds, despite inescapable obstacles and limitations.

These are my kind of grandmas, my kind of essays. Keywords that made this a must-have book for me: "real stories that usually go untold," "free of platitudes and cliches." Seems that everything related to being a grandmother, whether it's books or coffee mug sayings or silly T-shirts are cliched and platitude-ridden -- and rather nauseating, in my opinion. I want REAL stories by REAL grandmas who aren't afraid to say what it's REALLY like when your child has children. It can't all be sweet and rosy and chicken soup for the soul. No relationships are, and being honest about that makes the bond between loved ones stronger than those built on mushy-gushy superficial sweetness.

So I headed to Amazon.com, purchased the book, then perused the "Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought" suggestions ... and it only confirmed my lament that few candid books on grandparenting exist. A sampling of the cliches and platitudes (title and author not revealed because I'm sure they're very nice women with good intentions):

"Words of advice to 'accidentally' leave on a daughter-in-law's kitchen table."

"Read and re-read -- then joyfully live out -- a devoted grandma rabbit's fun-filled, love-inspired book of promises."

"It will make you laugh, it will make you cry...it will make you want to run out and buy something nice for your grandchild!"

Gag me! And get me my copy of "Eye of My Heart" quick!