Grilled Grandma: Melinda

How many children do you have? 2, a son and a daughter

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? 3 boys, aged 2, 6, and 8½

Any great grandchildren? No

What do your grandchildren call you? “Minna” I didn’t want to be called “Grandma.”

Other than the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would be a grandmother? That I was “too young” to be a grandmother! I didn’t like the traditional connotation of the role and didn’t see myself. I also wondered how I’d fit it into an already busy life.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? On average, once a month, because I live in four different places, only one of which is less than an hour away.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? Grandchildren give you a chance to re-view the world from a younger perspective–you hear music, visit places, and have experiences through their eyes. Also, it’s a special kind of unconditional love that goes both ways. The connection I have with them is different from what I have with my children or any other kind of relationship for that matter. But the best part is that the relationship is both very close and yet brings with it the element of constant surprise. I wrote a book about “consequential strangers”–people outside your intimate circle who are neither family nor close friends. Your loved ones are reliable and comforting–but they don’t usually bring novelty and excitement into your life. Only grandchildren do both!

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Not spending as much time as I’d like.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. I can’t think of only one time. It happens all the time when I’m with them, when we Skype, in pictures my daughter sends when I’m not around. All three always astound me with their comments. They all have a very good sense of humor, even the two year old. What I love most are the moments that tell me how they’re thinking. Recently, for example, I told the oldest a story, and he said, “That’s pretty good, but it needs more detail.” At eight, he’s already my editor!

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Cuddle! I love having them to myself without their parents around. What we do depends on which house we’re in! In my home in Massachusetts, I live on a river, and I love to take walks with them in the wooded area. In Florida, we swim and go to the beach.  

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Cuddle! I like them to show me what they’ve been doing, working on. I love building Lego creations with the two older ones, and Play-Doh is fun with the younger one. I like to cook with and for them.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? We talk on the phone, Skype, and sometimes email (but they’re on the young side for that, and I don’t encourage too much computer time, nor do their parents). In between visits, my daughter, with whom I have a very close relationship, keeps me up to date on their progress.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? My love of words. The oldest is already playing Scrabble and loves to read. All three like me to tell them stories. I have a “series” of stories that I’m thinking of turning into a children’s book, but I want them to write it with me.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Creative, fun, and always there for them, even when we’re apart. I know, that’s more than one!

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? Nothing, really. The joy is in the constant surprise.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Get ready for the best ride of your life. But remember that he or she is not yours to mold, discipline, or make plans for. That’s the mother’s and father’s job–and the surprisingly good news. Although you can’t “parent” them, you can love them to pieces and share everything you’ve ever learned with them. You can just be with them in a new and life-enhancing way.

Do you have a website or blog? MotherU is the website/blog I co-founded with my daughter eight years ago. It’s a place for contemporary grandmothers and mothers–members of what my daughter and I think of as “the Motherhood Union.” I write a blog, and we also have a guest feature, “The Buzz,” where other mothers and grandmothers explore the complexities of their respective roles and their issues with one another. It’s a growing community of voices.

Journalist Melinda Blau, the voice of the Consequential Strangers blog, as well as the author of the book, has been researching and reporting about relationships and social trends since the seventies. She has written more than ninety magazine pieces and a dozen other books, including the best-selling Baby Whisperer series.  She also blogs for Psychology Today and More magazines and writes a bi-monthly column for Shareable.   Melinda is a mother and grandmother–and co-founder of Mother U, a website for contemporary women of both generations.  She is also a very good cook (if she says so herself).  She has consequential strangers in New York City, Fire Island, Northampton, Massachusetts, Sunny Isles Beach, Florida, and Paris, France.

Grilled Grandma: Marion

How many children do you have? 2

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? 1 grandson - 23 months

Any great grandchildren? No!

What do your grandchildren call you? I'm planning on Grandma but so far its Mamama

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? I just hoped the baby would be healthy.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? About 5 times a week

What is the best thing about being a grandma? My grandson loves and I love spending time with him. It is wonderful to read, play with toys and go to the playground in the park. I love it all!

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? My daughter reminds me all the time that she is the mother and she gets to decide EVERYTHING. Bummer when I don't agree.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. My grandson will sometimes belly laugh at something he thinks is funny and that makes me laugh out loud too.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Read and play with blocks or a puzzle at the table and chairs we bought for him.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Read

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? We see him often enough so that this is not an issue.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? Good values, that he is loved and the importance of family.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Love

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? Too early for this question - I am still learning everything.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Don't criticize parents too much - they are very sensitive and want to ascertain their authority. Don't let that become an issue.

Be sure to visit Marion's blog, The Grandma Chronicles and "Like" her on The Grandma Chronicles Facebook page, too.

Grilled Grandma: Olga

How many children do you have? I have two — son, Kevin, and daughter, Amy.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? My grandchildren are Amy's daughter, Kristen (9 years old going on 40) and Amy's son, Dane (4 years old).

Any great grandchildren? No.
 
What do your grandchildren call you? Grandma

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? At the time, we were planning a move out of state—so being a part of his/her life was a big concern.  We ended up not moving.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? I try to see them once each month.  I do spend the winter in Florida so there is a long three-month break there.  I really want them to visit there.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? Being able to do the fun stuff without the day to day worries and chores of raising a family. When I am with the grand kids, we play.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? I am concerned about the future--what kind of world we seem to be living in right no with the economy and the politics of mean-spiritedness. Heck, I worry about those things TODAY, not just for the future.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. They come for a visit and say that they want to live at grandma's house.  That makes me laugh, but also gives me a nice warm fuzzy.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? I like doing out door things--going to the playground, hiking in the woods, going for a swim in the summer.  I also like when we sit down to read, draw or complete crafty projects.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Pretty much the same things that we do at my house.  At their house, they sometimes talk me into trying some of their computer games and then laugh at me for my inability to comprehend how they work.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? They are not big on talking on the phone.  I'll send little gifts or they will send me notes or pictures they have drawn. Their mom posts pictures on Facebook, too, sometimes.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? A sense that they are good and worthy people who can accomplish things in the world and a sense of adventure and willingness to travel.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Loved.

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? That certain things are going to become not only memories but established traditions!

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Enjoy the ride, but don't be a back seat driver.

Head on over to Olga's blog Confessions of a Grandma to learn more about this interesting grandma for whom this grilling has only scratched the surface!

Grilled Grandma: Kathy

How many children do you have? I have one delightful daughter who is the joy of my life! (and her hubby is pretty wonderful, too!)

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? I have three beautiful grandchildren ~ Mikayla who is 7 and a half, Naomi who is 4 and will soon be 5, and Sophia who is just over a year old.

Any great grandchildren? No great grandchildren yet.

What do your grandchildren call you? My grandchildren call me Grammy. I wanted a name that was different from all the grandmothers in my family and when I heard my friend's grandchildren call her Grammy, I knew that was what I wanted to be called.

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? When I found out about Mikayla and later Naomi, I prayed for a healthy pregnancy and a safe labor and delivery for both mama and baby. Aside from that, I prayed that I would be able to be a wonderful grandmother to the new little ones. For Sophia, I prayed LOTS of different prayers. The adoption process is lengthy and is full of many surprises along the way. When I would have been praying for a safe labor and delivery, I was praying for a safe flight to Ehiopia and home. Now there are lots of adjustments, but my prayer is still the same: that I will be a wonderful grandmother to all my grandchildren.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? I live about two hours away so I don't get to see them all the time, but I usually get to see them about every two weeks. Now that Mikayla and Naomi are older, they also like to visit my little 'farm'. Sophia has only recently joined our family and isn't traveling much yet, so right now I am visiting my family as often as I can.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? It is the same thing that I so enjoyed when my daughter was a little girl. I love to see the world unfold through their eyes. I love the excited way they share a discovery. And I especially adore the hugs full of love!

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Living this far away. My grandparents lived very near us and we saw them several times a week. I miss being available for those surprise babysitting events!

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. One time? They keep me laughing all the time! The last time I visited, Sophia stood with her head on the floor and peaked through her legs. She was also playing with a little toy. The toy scooted away from her and slid between her legs. When she reached for it, she toppled into a tangled heap of legs and arms while she giggled and laughed.  Perhaps we have a future gymnast here???

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? We have so many things that we like to do! Mikayla and Naomi have had several visits here and they love to go outside and help me with my animal 'chores'. I think that Benny Bunny must be one of their favorite little critters to visit. They like to pet my horse, Hershey, and they like to look for eggs in the chicken pen, too. We do artwork and sewing projects, and, of course, there are the doll houses that were Mama's when she was little. We even manage to watch a movie now and then. I am looking forward to the time when Sophia is a little older and we can show her how to feed the chickens!

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? We visit and play. Mikayla usually will show me her latest artwork and some of her school papers. Naomi likes to play horses with me and "do" my hair. All of us like to read books and be silly. Sometimes I take art projects for Mikayla and Naomi to do. Sophia likes to play and make funny faces. Her favorite thing is to raise her eyebrows so that you will raise your eyebrows. It's fun to watch her explore her new world. She really enjoys everything - except having her diaper changed...

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? I talk to them on the phone and sometimes I send them emails. The phone converstaions are the best! I have been doing that since Mikayla was really little. Phone conversations with a toddler are hysterical!

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? A love for the Lord Jesus! Once you have that, everything else seems to fall into place a lot better.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Love.
 
What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? Play more, take fewer pictures. Maybe that's why there are less pictures of the younger children. We all stopped taking so many pictures so that we could play more!

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Remember who the Mama is!

Kathy has several homes in the blogosphere. Spots where you'll find her:
http://www.tapestry316.etsy.com
http://tapestry316.blogspot.com
http://facebook.com/kathleen.roeth
http://twitter.com/tapestry316


Grilled Grandma: Sandy

How many children do you have? I have one son.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? Matthew, 12; Andrew 10; Kendal, 7; and another little sweetie will be joining us in late October or early November!!

Any great grandchildren?  Not yet - and I'm in no hurry!

What do your grandchildren call you?  Grama Sandy

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother?  That we live so far from our son. At the time he was in the Navy and stationed in Florida and then Virginia Beach. They now live near Washington, DC.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren?  About 4 times a year ... they try to make a trip to Michigan twice a year, and we try to get there at least twice.

What is the best thing about being a grandma?  The amazing joy of seeing your child as a parent himself. And the wonderful relationship we can have with the grandkids that is so different than being a parent. It's more relaxed, and in some ways more fun. Maybe because we ourselves are older and wiser.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma?  Not being able to see them on a regular basis. I hate that they've grown up so fast and we've missed so much - their births, Halloween costumes, birthday parties, babysitting, going to swim meets and ball games, school events. And it's never easy to say goodbye because I know it will be months before I see them again.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud.  When the kids visited last summer, my husband and I took the boys for a ride on our Harley's for the first time. Matthew rode with my husband, Mark; and Drew rode with me. As we were heading down the driveway, Drew said, "Grama, have you done this much?" I told him we'd ridden lots and lots of miles - and reminded him we'd ridden all the way to California and back one summer. And I asked him if he was scared and had changed his mind. He told me no. We rode to visit my mother that day. On our way home as we were riding back up our long driveway, Drew said to me, "Grama, this has been the best day of my whole life! The pancakes you made this morning were the best I ever ate. And now I've had my first ride on a Harley!" I couldn't imagine any Grama having more fun than I did that day, too!!

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house?  I am a massage therapist with my practice here at our home, so they all get massages when they come to visit. What an honor to lovingly massage their little bodies and know how much they love it! We love to play board/card games, Wii games, cooking, making popcorn and watching a movie together, shopping. Our favorite game is hide and seek. I think it's more fun now than it ever was when I was a kid myself! There is never a time when we all laugh longer or harder than when we're playing hide and seek together! Grampa Mark's specialty is wrestling - all three of them can't wait to tag team him!

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house?  We play games, cards, go shopping, read books, play hide and seek, and talk talk talk.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits?  Phone calls, and I'm just now shopping for a web camera.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren?  That we love them unconditionally, of course. And that they can do anything they want, be anything they want to be.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you?  Love

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent?  That time goes by with them even faster than it did when our son was growing up. Maybe because we ourselves are older, and time is so much more precious.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma?  Enjoy this opportunity to be a kid again with your grandkids! We don't have the responsibilities of parenting now - all we have to do is love them and have fun together!