Grilled Grandma: Barbara

How many children do you have? 3

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? I have 11 grandchildren ages 19, 18, 17 (2), 15, 13, 11, 7, 3, 2, and 1.

Any great grandchildren? No and I hope I won't be for a while. I want my grandchildren to grow up before they begin to raise children.

What do your grandchildren call you? Grandma (Grandma Barbara if there is more than one grandma in the room.)

Other than the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would be a grandmother? Because I lived across the state from my children, I was concerned that I would not be able to help them. It was an unfounded worry...they knew exactly what to do without me. They are all wonderful parents. After we retired, we moved to the city where they live.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? In the summers I see grandchildren almost daily. In the winter once every 3 months. This is a wonderful arrangement for my family. We love to be close but, as with any relationship, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? I was surprised at the initial reaction to being a grandparent helping in those first few days with the newborn baby. It was almost a primal, tribal kind of feeling. I loved that baby more than you could ever know but I found the greatest joy in putting the baby in my children's arms and watching them become a complete bonded family. The grandmother's place in the family became very clear right at the outset. It was perfect.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Keeping my mouth shut??? Really, I was not a perfect parent. So when I see my children doing things I know are not perfect but will do no harm I am quiet. I save my comments for safety issues and answers to their questions. I am older and I have seen too much so I could be a huge black cloud...I really do not want to do that. It is a challenge to say the least.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. My granddaughter (13) went through a "privacy" phase recently and did not want her mother and I to talk about her when she was out of the room. Still that girl was so funny. She came up with the idea of putting the ear buds for her ipod in her nostrils...her throat turned into a speaker for the ipod when she opened her mouth. She thought it was fun and we laughed. As she left the house to visit her friends her last words were "Don't talk about me while I'm gone!" Well, I ask you, how could we stop talking about her!

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? The little ones love grandma's toy box. Because they are little, they only want us to watch them play. The older the children are, the more we talk and play games. An old game of Bonkers is their favorite. I also let them use my computer to do crossword puzzles and draw pictures. We have a small park less than a block away and we go there to play or walk together. But of all the things we do, my favorite is to make cookies or macaroni & cheese (macky cheese my grandson calls it).  Then of course I just hug the stuffings out of them...it is a running joke with them all! When the boys were little and in trouble, I would tell they had better be good or I was going to kiss them all over their faces. They would laugh and straighten up!

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? (Clean???) I cared for two of my grandchildren for several summers. I cooked their lunch and breakfast, allowed them to play at home and watched them at bicycle activities and sports events. Children are in daycare a great deal of the time and "just being at home" is a great treat for all of them.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? We have been using Skype for several years. We can visit with the family for an extended period of time, see the look in their faces and we actually even hug the computer. Once in a while I catch a grandchild alone and we will visit early in the morning or in the evening. My husband and I get a lot of comfort from these connections. The grandchildren really don't even think of us as being "away". Skype is a grandparents' miracle I think.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? One of my grandchildren once told me I was a world traveler...I did not think they had even noticed. Since then I have come to realize that they know we are travelers, well educated and always with them no matter what. I want to pass that sense of family accomplishments along to them. Discussions at our table when they visit, include the children and we can talk about a variety of subject with ease. Hopefully, they will take those experiences with them into a family of their own.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? I Love you!...the end of every conversation.

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? I think all grandparents wish to be wiser! But then experience is the best teacher and we don't get any redoes. Sigh!

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Please, please don't be judgmental. I have hear so many grandmother tell a story about giving a daughter-in-law their favorite _____fill in the blank________ and then be outraged when they didn't see it being used. If you quarrel with your children or in-law children, you will be the loser. Being close to your grandchildren requires that you step back and become supportive.

Does Barbara have a website or blog? Of course! She says, "I write a blog called Retire in Style Blog for retirees. I also write a blog called It Crossed My Mind Blog where I write stories and musings."


Grilled Grandma: Janie

How many children do you have? Two sons and two daughters.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? I have three from my daughter Krystle ( one girl and two boys - 7, 4, and 9 months) and one on the way from my step-daughter Anna (it's a boy).

Any great grandchildren? That blessing is still a ways off for me, though I am looking forward to it.

What do your grandchildren call you? My grandkids have always called me GG. Not sure where it came from just started with my my granddaughter when she was young and kinda stuck.

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? I really can not think of actually having a concern. When I think on it now I think it would have to be that I am able to be there for them whenever and wherever they may need me to be.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? Three of my grandkids live in Tennessee (I am in Oklahoma). That is a distance of approximately 700 miles yet despite that distance last year I was able to see them a total of 9 times. Before they moved (2 years ago) I was only a mere 20 minutes from them. I was blessed with watching them often while their momma worked. It has been an adjustment not being as close to the new grandson. My step-daughter lives much closer so we anticipate seeing them often.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? All the hugs you get has got to be the best thing. However the fact that you are not the parent is sort of nice also. I love to spoil them rotten (within reason of course).

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Watching them grow. Was the same with my kids. Wanting to keep them from all the bad things yet knowing that it is an impossible task. Accepting the fact that sooner or later they will have their feelings hurt or worse. Just knowing that sometimes all you can do is just be there for them. And that never really goes away no matter how old they become.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. Laughter is a gift that my grand kids have given to me many times. Whether it is my oldest grandson telling me one of his make believe stories or my grand daughter and her logical thinking. A good example is when my grand daughter lost her first tooth. It was loose for some time and her mom kept wanting to help her. The main reason for this was so that she would know when she put it under her pillow and thus be able to exchange it with coins that the tooth fairy would bring. My grand daughter and her desire to test what seems to be everything had other ideas. After going to bed one night my grand daughter arose and went into the bathroom and commenced to pull her own tooth The next morning she came into breakfast a bit upset and when her mother asked her what was the matter she explained what she had done. When her mother asked her why she did that and did not let her help her, my granddaughter responded that she wanted to put the tooth under her pillow before anyone knew about it to see if the tooth fairy was real or if it was just her mom and dad putting money under her pillow.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? It seems that each one has something different. My granddaughter it is most definitely working in the kitchen. Whether it is baking cookies or making supper she loves to get her hands into all of it. My grandson loves the outdoors and helps a lot with my garden as well as tending the birds and animals outdoors.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? My grandson and I have to go for sushi anytime I go and see him. It has quickly become a tradition and "our thing" As for my granddaughter it is usually playing games or watching a favorite movie. She is quite the reader so often we plan a trip to the book store and pick out a new favorite book also.  The baby is the same no matter where we are. I hold him as much as he will let me.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? We speak on the phone often or occasionally Skype via the internet. Yet my grand daughter and I also write letters back and forth. A lost art that we both have grown to really love.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? That they are capable of doing anything they put their minds to. They just may have to realize that a bit of extra effort is required for some other things they may wish for. Life is too short to sit around wishing for something and expecting it to just drop in your lap. If you want it go out and figure out how you are going to get it. Also to never get too caught up in things that you lose site of the little things that can make you smile.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Dependable - I want them to know that I am will always be there for them as much as I possibly can be.

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? Hard question... Much like being a parent I think grandparenting is a constant evolution with the child. Each one has their own nature and ways. I am sure as time passes there may be things that I would have wished I had realized earlier yet at this time I can not think of any.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Sit back and enjoy. Being a grandparent is going to be one of the best experiences you will ever have. It will bring you more joy, tears, smiles, and laughter than you ever thought possible. And it all begins with the very first time you lay eyes on that baby. You can never have enough grandchildren.

Janie's blog bears the subhead "Words from someone on her journey to find the way and enjoying herself while doing so." Join her on her journey at Mother Moon.

Grilled Grandma: Marlene

How many children do you have? I have 4 children, 3 daughters and one son. Two of the daughters and my son are step children, 1 daughter is my birth daughter. I raised all of them from the time they were small and they are my children. From the oldest down they are Leah, Gayle, Mindy and Steven Jr. Mindy is my birth child and they are all within two years of each other in age. It was quite the scene when we went grocery shopping with four kids all about the same size, two hanging off each side of the cart. I made them hold on to the cart so I didn’t lose them.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? From the oldest down:
Kayla - 22
Shelly - 21
John - 21
Kelsey - 20
Reggie - 19
Daniel - 18
Ashley - 16
Bailey - 14
Kristyne - 10
Saxon - 10
Sayde - 7

We had one other grandson that drowned in the ocean 3-1/2 years ago, he was 16. This was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life. It really made our whole family know just how precious life is and that it can be gone in an instant.

I also have one other grandson that I have never met and do not know his name, he is my son’s new wife’s son and is older than the rest, maybe 25ish.

Any great grandchildren? Through marriage my son’s oldest child (whom I don’t know) has two children a boy and girl that live out of state. And her other son Reggie is expecting a child.

What do your grandchildren call you? They call me Gramma, and Daniel calls me G-ma. My husband used to try and get them to call me D.O.G, for Dirty old Grandma as a joke, but my two oldest decided that no they wouldn’t and started calling him C.A.T. for crusty ancient turd. They were about 4 or 5 at the time.

After the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would soon be a grandmother? My first concern with all of them has been that they be healthy. After that I guess it would be that they be happy and have wonderful lives.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? With all the birthdays in the family and holidays thrown in, at least once a month, and some of them more often than that. Now that they are getting older and off to collage, working and their own lives I do not see them as much.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? Knowing that I get a second chance and unlike my kids can spoil them and not make the same mistakes with them that I did in raising their parents.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? For me it is learning how to just let go and have fun and play. I am still learning how to do that. We love to sing Karaoke, we have had squirt gun fights, we play card games, watch movies. I would love to be able to just be a kid with them but my bones just don’t work that way anymore.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. I think it was when Kristy (9 at the time) got to go to a Justin Bieber concert. She told me, Grandma, he is my idol, and when I saw him I cried.. I didn’t laugh out loud when she was there, but got a chuckle later thinking about the dreamy look on her face when she told me, and passing the story on to Grandpa. Her 10th birthday is tonight (Jan. 25) and all she asked for was Justin Bieber items.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Play card games, do crafts, color Easter eggs, make hot chocolate, sing, enjoy meals. Watch movies. In the summer they ride the ATVs around the property and we usually bar-be-que.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Same thing as when they come to mine.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? They all have Facebook accounts and I check in with them there, even the younger ones have accounts. All but Sayde and her parents are not together and she lives with her mom so I see her when my son has her.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? To be honest in all their dealings. That they are wonderful people who can make a positive difference in this world and not to settle for mediocrity. Strive for the best in everything and always do their best.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Caring

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? How to see things from a child’s point of view.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Just relax and really listen when they talk to you. Kids say the most incredible things and you can learn a lot if you listen.

Marlene is an incredible artist. Take a moment to view her lovely artwork on her blog, Marlene's Musings.

Grilled Grandma: Nita

How many children do you have? I have two wonderful children. My son, Michael is 34 and my daughter, Katie, is 30.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? So far I have been blessed with two adorable granddaughters, aged 4 and 1.

Any great grandchildren? Not yet.

What do your grandchildren call you? At my request, my grandchildren call me Nona.

Other than the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would be a grandmother? My first concern was that I was living in a very small apartment at the time and I worried that a child wouldn’t be comfortable or have fun at Nona’s place because of this. I then moved to a bigger place, but it is still very small. Fortunately, I have since realized that this is not an issue. My grandchildren love to come to Nona’s house, and with a little imagination, I have managed to craftily store all the necessary paraphernalia needed to keep them comfortable, occupied, and safe.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? It varies, but on average I see them about once every two weeks.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? The best part about being a grandma is watching your own child become a wonderful, caring parent.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? The most challenging part of being a grandma is remembering that your wonderful, caring child IS the parent.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. We were playing school and 4 year old Hannah pointed to the Christmas Cards that were strung across the wall, pretending that they were the class rules. She “read” them to me one by one. Suddenly she stopped and spoke in a sympathetic voice (as if she were graciously letting me in on something that she thought I didn’t know, but should). “You know, Nona,” she said, “If you don’t follow the class rules you’ll have to get a consequence.” I cracked up.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? My favorite thing to do with the 4 year old is to have some kind of a hunt. We have had letter hunts, color hunts, and egg hunts, but my favorite was the treasure hunt I put together one sleep-over with a map, picture and riddle clues, and even a real buried treasure chest filled with fake jewelry and chocolate coins. It was a big hit and fun for me to plan, as well. My favorite thing to do with the baby is finding out, through play, what developmental skills she has mastered since I saw her last. I’m always amazed at how fast they grow!

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? My favorite is playing that I am a student at school and Hannah is the teacher. We put all the stuffed animals, dolls, and of course, baby Emily in a semi-circle and Hannah answers all of our questions, teaches us the alphabet, leads us in finger plays, and reads us her books.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? I keep them in my heart and send them good Reiki energy until I see them again.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? I want most to teach them that life is change; that change is not bad (just different); and that the earlier one learns to embrace change, the earlier one will be at peace with life.  I also would like them to know that they are lovable just the way they are. That’s why I used to enjoy Mr. Rogers, when their dad and aunt were growing up. He used to tell the children that every day.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Unconditional-Love (I hope that counts as one word, because the unconditional is really important).

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? I wish I had remembered earlier that the gift children like and appreciate most is the gift of undivided attention. I had learned this fact as a parent, but forgot about it over the years.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Give yourself time to grow into your new role. You didn’t become a successful parent overnight and it works the same for grandparenting.

Get to know Nita better by visiting Nona Nita's Grandparenting Blog.

Grilled Grandma: Mary

How many children do you have? One daughter.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? Two, a boy age 8 and a girl who will be 5 in March.

Any great grandchildren? Not yet, but I hope to see that day.

What do your grandchildren call you? Grandmother. I like the Native American use of this word as respected elder and wise mentor since I hope to be that for my grands.

Other than the initial elation, what was your first concern upon hearing you would be a grandmother? How I would form a relationship with him living so far away.

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? My daughter, her husband and my grandson lived with us for 2 years (aged 1 to 3) so I saw them daily. Wnen my granddaughter was an infant, I moved to Antigua for 2 1/2 years (aged 6 mos to 3) and saw them every other month. Now I live in Italy and visit them in Trinidad for Christmas/ New Years for 1-2 mos and they travel to Italy for 1-2 mos in the summer. It's less often but for longer time.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? Getting to love these two Dear Ones as a gift to the future of our family and the human family.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Staying in touch in between visits with children so young and so far away in a land of dial up connection.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. When trying to get photos for this interview, my grandson was clowning around making faces and making me laugh. My granddaughter gave me a big hug to make up for his antics and squeezed so hard she made me laugh. 

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Both kids like to go to the beach as do I. So usually it's to go there. But, this last summer, we had great fun having tea parties with a beautiful china tea set. They really got into the whole spirit of making and sharing tea and I loved it.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Going for hikes to the waterfalls or rivers near their house in the rainforest.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? Skype! Often! My grandson and I also swap emails but it's only in the last 2 months that my granddaughter has learned to read and write. Now I hope their village gets high speed internet and we'll be all set.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? My grands are biracial, bicultural children, so it's important to me to help grow their minds and their hearts to accept people as they are. I tell the stories of their Irish/ Scottish roots and give them opportunity to travel the world to experience all people as kin.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Loving.

What is one thing you wish you had learned earlier as a grandparent? That grandparenting is not just about our individual family but about the future of our species.

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma? Get involved with your grands because it really matters!

Be sure to visit Mary's blog, Journey Into Elderhood, which she says is, in part, "a chronicle of my journey for my grands."