Grilled Grandma: Sally

Sally and her granddaughterHow many children do you have? Two children, a girl and boy.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? Oh my, I have eight grandchildren.  Travis 17, Shoshanna 15, Latisha 12, Jaedan 11, Cian 10, Taila 9, Elizabeth 8 & the youngest is 5 1/2.  I can’t name her due to the fact that a government department has custody of her and we have additional guardianship and they don’t permit naming of children who are in their custody.

Any great grandchildren? Not that I am aware of and hopefully not for many years.  Have enough grandchildren to keep track of.

What do your grandchildren call you? All my grandchildren call me Sally; the youngest who we are raising calls me Grandma.

Sleeping with Poly-EstherHow often do you get to see your grandchildren? As often as we can.  Two of my grandchildren live in Christchurch in the South Island, 5 live in New Plymouth in the middle of the North Island which makes the commute to see them rather difficult.  To go to Christchurch we have to fly or drive to New Plymouth.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? For me the most wonderful thing about being a grandmother is the hugs and hearing my granddaughter say to me “I love you and you’ll never leave me.”  I love seeing the joy on her beautiful face when she comes home from school, climbs on my lap and gives me the best cuddle in the world. To watch her pretty face light up when she has lovingly picked a flowering weed for me.  The list is endless because whatever she does for me is the best part of being a grandmother.

Off to a disco.What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? The most challenging part for me is the battles that sometimes take place.  To make an instant decision on which battle I need to back down on and which one is important enough to keep saying no to. Even when she cries I have to stay resolute in my decision that this time no means no. 

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. My husband and I recently had our wedding anniversary.  When we told our granddaughter she turned to me and said “Grandma you’ll have to wear your wedding dress all day.”

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Just to be with them and to participate in whatever they are doing is special.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Due to distance unfortunately this does not happen very frequently. However, having said that, if I did go to visit, just being with them is what would make me happy.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? The best way it works for me is by emailing, texting and phone calls.

Lunch time at Hororata ChristchurchWhat do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? Raising a grandchild 24/7 allows me to pass on so many things to my beautiful granddaughter that to single out one thing is impossible.  I want to instil in her that she can be whatever she wants to be, but to have good manners and be polite to others will go a long way in achieving her goal.  To make her understand that not everyone is as fortunate as her but that everyone deep down as good qualities and that she shouldn’t judge someone on their appearance.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Unconditional Love

Visit Sally on her website, Raising Grandchildren, and her Facebook Group, Raising Grandchildren.

Grilled Grandma: Suzanne

How many children do you have?  My children are: Christopher, age 28, Mary, age 26, and Russ, age 50.  Russ is actually my husband, but on Sundays, he prefers to be treated like a child. 

How many grandchildren? What are their ages?  I have one beautiful grandson, Liam, age 2.

Any great grandchildren?  Not unless my kids haven't come clean on some things.  I did see a little girl pushing a stroller up my driveway the other day but realized that her baby was a catatonic Cabbage Patch Kid which, I've been told, are completely harmless.

What do your grandchildren call you? Liam calls me Nimmy.  I initially went by Grammy before Liam could speak.  He's never been able to say Grammy and Nimmy just seemed appropriate when he started calling me by that name.  My husband says the child is a genius in shortening the name "Nimrod" to "Nimmy."

How often do you get to see your grandchildren?  I get to see Liam every day because he and his mother live with us.  Need I say anymore on that topic?

What is the best thing about being a grandma?  The best thing about a grandma is that, by the time your grandchild arrives, you truly have become more seasoned in life, in love, and in the understanding of what is important.  I don't have to work as hard or as much as I did when my kids were little, and I relish the time with Liam.  I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom, but I am a stay-at-home grandmother, for the most part, and I am very involved in his life.  I have been there for his first steps, the sleepless nights when he was teething and I am with him when he is sick.  If I'd only had that luxury when my children were growing up.  I also believe that we are more relaxed about things by the time we become grandparents.  We slow the time down and it doesn't matter that there are dishes in the sink or the laundry needs to get done.  It'll be there later.  What's important is the here and now and the moments with Liam.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? The most challenging part, for me, is the fact that Liam and his mother live with me.  When a child lives with you and he is the central focus in your life, it is extremely difficult to draw the line as to when and when not to interfere.  Our daughter has made some good choices and some bad choices in her life - which is why they live with us.  Because of my closeness with Liam, I love him as if he were my own child.  I have to bite my tongue on occasion and remind myself that he'll be ok if he wears his slippers outside after a downpour instead of his sneakers or if, for whatever reason, he is given cookies at 5 pm when I'm just about to put dinner on the table and it throws his whole schedule off.  These are not drastic things and, while it is very hard for me, he will be ok.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud.  Liam and my husband were looking out the window at the birdies and the flowers.  Liam commented that the snow was all gone.  My husband said, "Yes, the snow has gone away."  Liam looked at my husband and said, "The snow has gone to be with Jesus."  That caused thunderous laughter and giggles.  When the snowman melted that he and my husband made, it, too, had gone to be with Jesus.  This all came about after his fish died a few months ago and his mother told him that the fish had died and went to be with Jesus (via a quick flush to Heaven).  It is so intriguing and entertaining watching how that little mind works.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Since Liam lives with me, we do many things together.  He is a great help in the kitchen.  I make everything fresh and there is a lot of vegetable chopping since we don't eat meat in this house.  I chop the vegetables and Liam puts them into a bowl for me.  Every time we get to the onions and garlic, he looks at me and reminds me that we never ever rub our eyes after touching onions and garlic.  I remind him that garlic and onions are fabulous additions to any meal and will be so until he's about 14 and takes an interest in girls.  We'll then stop cooking with them until he snags one, gets married, and starts a family of his own.  Then he can eat all the onions and garlic he wants again.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house?  Liam likes to make tents.  So when I visit him at his tent, we bring along several stuffed animals.  Nimmy holds each animal and makes them come to the entry of the tent and ask if they can come in.  Sometimes Liam lets a guest in; others, he shuns.  Of course, those little shunned animals go away, sulking, heads bent and despondent.  Liam then calls from the doorway, "Shaw-wee," and they come running back.  Occasionally, I am allowed into the tent and we whisper secrets and call for his mama to come find us.  While she is "looking" for us, we giggle, hold our fingers to our lips and deviously say, "Shh."  We repeat this game at least 67 times until mama can't take it anymore.

Suzanne's hubby.How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits?  Since Liam lives with us, we have a very strong bond with him.  It will be very very difficult for us if/when they move out (which his mother is constantly threatening to do when she's not happy about something - and to which I mutter to myself, "GOOD luck with THAT.")

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren?  I'd like to pass on the understanding that none of us are perfect and that each day is a new day to try to become better than we were the day before.  That forgiveness is the best medicine for ourselves and those who we feel have wronged us, that honesty is very important as it sets a foundation for all relationships.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you?  LOVE

Want to find out more about Suzanne? Visit her any time at Liam's Grandma or Maggie in Real Life.

Grilled Grandma: Karen

How many children do you have? 8 children

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? 10 grandchildren, ages 13, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 7, 6, 4, 3

Any great grandchildren? no

What do your grandchildren call you? Nana

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? Depends, some almost daily; some once every few months; one once a year if I am lucky.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? Being able to love the children without being responsible for everything.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Keeping my mouth shut when I would do things differently than the parents.

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. Listening to a 7 year old tell her 10 year old sister while preparing to go to Home Depot, “I don’t think that’s appropriate what you are wearing. There might be little children there to see  you.” The outfit was a bit odd but totally modest.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? This is a hard one. I spent so many years raising grandchildren that when the others came to visit, they played with the children not me. Now, I mostly go to their homes to visit.

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? That depends on how long I am staying. I may be taking them to their lessons, helping with home work, going to their school performances, fixing their dinner, or again working on my computer while they do other things. My work is never “done.” I am rarely the doting grandma who makes cookies. We make healthy smoothies instead.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? We talk on the phone mostly. One of my granddaughters and I do a blog together. She is 9. She tells me over the phone what to write and I type her words. She uses a fictitious name of course. We write about what she is learning in school, and I search and add appropriate clip-art to it. She enjoys showing her friends her blog. We started this project when she lived with me and continued it even though she is not with me anymore.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? Perhaps stories of their ancestors and a feeling of belonging. And of course knowing that no matter what happens, I am always here.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? 2 words – “Love” and “Healthy.” When they get older I hope they think of me as the epitome of health and a great example. I want to be spry and healthy well into my 90s. As little children, I hope they just know I love them.

You can visit more with Karen on her blog, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, and her website, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.

Grilled Grandma: Edna

How many children do you have? We have been blessed with five children, three sons and two daughters. They are the healthy main course of my life. I have loved being their mother.

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? We have seventeen grandchildren; Aubree 18, Curtis 16, Kaitlyn 15, Mikayla 14, Kerra 13, Faith 11, Steele 11, Briana 11, Chloe 10, Grace 9, Luca 9, Lincoln 7, Anna 6, Abby 4, Ande 2, Kai 2, Olivia 1. They are the dessert and I am loving being their grandmother.

Any great grandchildren? Not yet, although it looks like we are almost old enough!

What do your grandchildren call you? The young ones who try to say Grandma Henke sound like they are saying “HaHaHeeHee”. Now and then Anna calls me “M’ Lady”, but mostly it’s just plain “Grandma”.

How often do you get to see your grand children? We don’t get to see them as often as we’d like because two of our children live in Washington and the other three live near us in Southern Utah. Last year my husband retired and we bought a motor home so we can spend more time in Washington. We now consider ourselves as reverse snowbirds.

What is the best thing about being a grandma? Unconditional love and adoration … how can you possibly top that in a lifetime?

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Keeping in touch with and up to date on each grandchild and spending quality time with them doing what they want to do.  

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. Little two-year-old Ande loves to tell us about her movies … talking fast and furiously, throwing in hand gestures, phrasing, emotional expressions, pantomimes, and now and then some actual real words. We can actually tell exactly what she is saying even without very many words we recognize. She loves to make us laugh.

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? There is something to do with each age. I love to rockabye, sing and smell the sweet smells of a newborn, then comes the playing and playing and playing with the toddlers, the walks, the stories, the games come along and then they are teenagers and we go shopping … giggling over lunch as I listen to them chatter. If I was to choose one favorite thing they’ve all loved it would be my large bin of dress up clothes, purchased at the Deseret Industries (thrift shop). It is full of costumes, dresses, wigs, shoes, bags, scarfs, jewelry, suits, and fake furs.    

What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Believe it or not, when we go to visit the families I find I also enjoy spending time with my own children as well as the grandchildren. We often are all gathered in someone’s family room where we chatter and laugh with all ages mingled in. The little ones are on the floor, the middle ones are in and out, and the teenagers are part of the fun. Gradually we migrate into groups where I often find I’m with the youngest and we play silly make believe games.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? Telephones, texting, slow mail, and Internet. I couldn’t live without the Internet. It cuts the distance off the miles.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? I want my children to know they are part of a big family with lots of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents who love them. We are an eternal, forever family and there is always someone to turn to. My grandfather had a saying he always told his kids, then us grandkids, as we left his house. “Remember whose kid you are.” We are all children of a kind, loving Heavenly Father. I want them to always remember whose “kid” they are.     

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? One word I know they will think of is “funny”. I am the funny grandma who makes them laugh. I would hope that they would also think of the word love because I am pretty sure they know how much I love each one of them.

Find out more about Edna and her grandchildren on her blog, Grandma Henke. Stop by any time -- I'm sure she'd love to meet you.

Grilled Grandma: Sue

Making gingersnaps with Teddy.How many children do you have? Three of our own and over the years we had 8 exchange students – we love kids!

How many grandchildren? What are their ages? We are blessed with six. Ages: Nick is 16. Charlie is 12. Elyse and Will are 6, Teddy is 2 and Ingrid is 1.

Any great grandchildren? No, not yet but it’ll be wonderful when they do arrive!

What do your grandchildren call you? Oma

How often do you get to see your grandchildren? We try to see one of them almost every month – they all live a full days drive away but that doesn’t stop us from seeing them as frequently as possible.

Blowing bubbles with four grandsons.What is the best thing about being a grandma? Having more time to enjoy them.  As a grandma I realize how fast the stages go and therefore appreciate and enjoy each more than I probably did as a mom.

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma? Being a long-distance grandma…

Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud. When our six-year old granddaughter dressed our six-year old grandson up in a long blond wig and a long red velvet dress and high heels!  Or when our two-year old grandson pronounced “Big Mess” when we visited a neighbor’s buffalo farm that was in need of some serious cleaning up! I love the honesty of kids!

What is your favorite thing to do with grandchildren who visit your house? Making cookies, happy face pancakes, or muffins together, lying in the grass and picking out shapes in the clouds, putting them to bed at night with stories in the rocking chair, collecting eggs from the chicken coop, teaching them to row and sail a boat – it’s the simple everyday things that are the most meaningful.

Oma with Ingrid and Elyse.What is your favorite thing to do when visiting grandchildren at their house? Getting down on the floor and really playing with them. Getting to know their world…meeting their teacher, going to the playground, attending their concerts and games, and getting to know their friends. We also love it when the parents leave us in charge – it’s a break for them and special for us to be alone with the kids.

How do you maintain the bond between yourself and your grandchildren between visits? We do everything we can to communicate frequently when we can’t be with them – we phone, fax, email and Skype on the computer. Skyping is our favorite, as it’s real time.  The older ones take to it readily, the six-year olds love to dance and perform for us, and it’s a bit bittersweet with the two-year old, as he always tries to kiss and hug us through the screen.  We’ve loved watching our one-year old grow, pull herself up and learn to walk on Skype.  We keep books, puppets and things of interest to the kids near the computer so they are handy to pull out when we’re Skyping.

I’ve purchased personalized address labels for each grandchild and keep them in my top desk drawer so they’re handy when I pop something in the mail each week.  It doesn’t have to be expensive but can be as simple as a note in or on a balloon, or a photo of the two of us that I’ve cut into puzzle pieces and popped in an envelope with the note, “Put this together and see who loves and misses you!”  It’s the fact that we’ve touched base and that we’ve turned their mailbox into a treasure chest.

Sue with co-authors daughter-in-law Julie Carlson and daughter Elizabeth Bower.That’s actually one reason we wrote the book Grandloving: Making Memories with Your Grandchildren, now in a just released, new 5th edition. We were looking for fun ways to be part of our grandchildren’s lives despite the distance, and responses from the 350 families who answered our questionnaire with what has worked for them has become the cornerstone of the book.

What do you most want to pass along to your grandchildren? The feeling that they are loved unconditionally, family history and the value of family, and that they can do anything they set their minds to.

What is one word you hope your grandkids think of when they think of you? Love – I’ve given each of them a special name that they’ve heard me call them since they were infants, and each name has the word love in it – I have a “Honey Love”, a “Love Bear”, an “Angel Love”, a “Snuggle Love”, a “Huggy Love” and a “Happy Love”.  I have a special bear for each child and have made a heart button with the individual names that I sewed onto each child’s special bear.  The bears always greet the grandkids on their beds with a welcome note in the bear’s hands when the kids come to visit. 

Take a few moments to learn more about Sue -- and some wonderful grandparenting tips -- at Grandloving.