Dublin over: St. Patrick's Day jokes for kids (A #TBT feature)

Dublin over: St. Patrick's Day jokes for kids (A #TBT feature)

Dear readers: This #TBT feature originally appeared on Grandma’s Briefs March 15, 2017. Thank you for reading—and chucklin’ over—my corny collection.

Time for another round of seasonal silly stuff for kids and their keepers, be they grandmothers or others. This go-round the subject is St. Patrick and his special day.

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Risque rehab

Risque rehab

On Monday I visited my mom in the rehabilitation facility where she’s been staying since an especially difficult setback in her lung cancer journey a few weeks ago.

As I sat on the edge of the bed next to her, we perused the papers left by a CNA which listed various activities meant to get the patients up and about and socializing. I read the options for group entertainment to her.

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Remember Sniglets? Plus, GRAND Social No. 313 link party for grandparents

Remember Sniglets? Plus, GRAND Social No. 313 link party for grandparents

Remember Sniglets?

I watched a comedy show the other night and found myself more annoyed than amused. I'm bone-weary—and bored—by what seems to pass as humor anymore, that being primarily political skits, potty jokes, and TMI on anything and everything.

That may sound crotchety, but gee whiz, I sure could go for some of the wit and wisecrackery (yeah, my word) that made me chuckle—and sometimes snort—back in the day.

Yesterday I sought out some of the silliness that used to make me smile and stumbled upon several videos of one of my all-time favorite snicker-eliciting…

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Tell An Old Joke Day! Plus GRAND Social No. 265 link party for grandparents

Tell An Old Joke Day!

Odd events and celebrations fill each and every day of the calendar. Today, my friends — July 24 — is none other than Tell An Old Joke Day.

Why might such a day exist? Because, as the Days of the Year site states, "Like any endangered species, old jokes must reproduce if they are not to die out entirely."

Now, I'm pretty bad at remembering jokes, especially the punch lines. But I do have one joke I always remember. One corny joke. One old joke. So in doing my fair share to help keep old jokes from extinction, I'll share it with you here.

It goes like this:

Question: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Answer:...

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2016 Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop: 13 things I loved plus a few me-loved-nots

Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop 2016 recap

I've long dreamed of attending the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop presented by the University of Dayton every two years. The revered place writers of various formats — books, blogs, screenplays and more — gather to glean insider tips and load up on laughter and love from folks in their field. Attendance is capped at 200 each year, and I've never made the cut at registration... nor, to be honest, had the money for travel and hotel if I had.

This year, though, I clicked the Register button in time to obtain a coveted Golden Ticket for the event that sold out in six hours, and I eeked out the funds to make attendance at my dream conference a reality.

Unlike many dreams that eventually come true yet pale in comparison to one's expectations, the Erma...

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20 Thanksgiving jokes to share with kids

Kids—and some grown-ups, too—love corny jokes. Here are 20 to share during the Thanksgiving holiday.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside.

Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?

Because he had the drumsticks.

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?

Their age.

What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?

Your teeth.

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot.

Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America?

Because they missed their plane.

What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock.

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?

Your nose.

Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?

Because they never learned good table manners.

Who isn't hungry at Thanksgiving?

The turkey because he’s already stuffed.

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Yes, because a building can’t jump at all.

When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?

On their feet.

How many cranberries grow on a bush?

All of them.

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?

The letter “g”.

What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

The tur-key.

Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

In the dictionary.

Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?

Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.

What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?

They both have stuffing.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Harry.

Harry who?

Harry up, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Gladys.

Gladys who?

Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren’t you?

Today's question:

What corny joke lovers will you dine with this Thanksgiving?

National Humor Month: Giggles and grins for kids

April is National Humor Month. Don't let it end without getting in a few giggles, grins, and groans with the grandkids.

Here are a few to get things started:

What does a baby ear of corn call its father?
Pop Corn.

Why are movie stars cool?
Because they have so many fans.

How many months have 28 days?
All of them.

Two snowmen are standing in a meadow. One snowman turns to the other and says, "Do you smell carrots?"

What is the strongest bird?
A crane.

On which side does a leopard have the most spots?
On the outside.

What did the hat say to the hat rack?
“You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.”

How do you find a lost rabbit?
Easy. Just make a sound like a carrot.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut ask me any more silly questions.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”

How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Eleven—T..h..e...A..l..p..h..a..b..e..t

What is the difference between here and there?
The letter T.

What did the bad chicken lay?
A deviled egg.

Why did the students eat their homework?
Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs he would fall over.

Where can everyone always find money when they look for it?
In the dictionary.

Why do male deer need braces?
Because they have buck teeth.

What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy.

What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A Minnie van.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mayor.
Mayor who?
Mayor days be filled with love and laughter.

Today's fill-in-the-blank:

The last person I shared a joke with was _______________.

Snickers, smiles, and laughing out loud

I'm not one to laugh out loud a whole heck of a lot. I'm a fairly happy person, I've got a pretty active funny bone, but I tend to snicker or chuckle or just plain smile at things that might make others literally LOL.

Except, of course, when it comes to my kids and grandkids.

My daughters make me laugh out loud. Often. Once, when Megan and Andrea (my youngest two) were away at college, they came home for the weekend. The Monday they left, I spent a good while trying to figure out why I had such pains in my ribs, as we'd definitely not done a whole lot of physical activity while they were home. We did, though, laugh and laugh and laugh, and I eventually realized my ribs hurt so much because I'd been laughing so hard all weekend long.

My grandsons make me laugh out loud, too. I think grandchildren make most grandparents laugh out loud on a fairly regular basis. Which is why I ask the Grilled Grandmas, "Describe a recent time that one (or more) of your grandchildren made you laugh out loud." I love the stories the grandmas relate.

Because my grandsons live so far away and I only see them every couple months, my grandchild-induced LOLing happens only every couple months as well.

For the most part.

A few days ago, despite the 815 miles between us, my grandsons made me laugh. Out loud. By myself. And then again as I shared the story with Jim.

Megan texted me pictures of Baby Mac and Bubby on Monday, each preceded by her caption for the photo. The first two were certainly cute. It was the third, though, that elicited the elusive LOL from Gramma.

FIRST TIME IN A POOL

BRING YOUR SWIMSUIT!

THEIR REACTION TO ME IN MY SWIMSUIT

Baby Mac seems to have gotten quite a kick out of Mommy's poolside fashion. Such a silly, silly boy.

Turns out, though, it was Mommy who was silly. Megan admitted in a later phone call that her attire wasn't really the reason Baby Mac was laughing so hard; she just thought it would make a cute caption.

And it did.

And it made me laugh.

Out loud.

Like I said, my grandsons and my daughters are the ones most capable of making me laugh out loud.

Even if one particular daughter is a big ol' liar.

(Or maybe just a mom who would rather be considered a liar than a swimsuit-clad laughing stock to her sons.)

Today's question:

Who makes you laugh out loud the most often?