Fourth of July jokes for kids

Time once again for some seasonal silliness to share with the (school-age) grandkids. This time it's giggles — plus a few groans — related to patriotism and our beloved Independence Day.

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Why did the duck say bang?

Because he was a firequacker.

What did one flag say to the other flag?

Nothing, it just waved.

What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?

One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.

Do they have a Fourth of July in England?

Of course, it’s the day between the third of July and the fifth of July.

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?

Liber-tea!

What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?

Fire-crackers.

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?

Dino-mite!

What ghost haunted King George III?

The spirit of ’76.

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?

Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?

A Yankee Doodler.

What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker.

What was George Washington’s favorite tree?

The infantry.

What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?

My pop's bigger than your pop.

Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?

Because she can’t sit down.

Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?

They’re both cracked.

What was the most popular dance in 1776?

Indepen-dance.

What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?

Tea-shirts.

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?

The Americans licked the British.

What did a patriot put on his dry skin?

Revo-lotion.

Why does Uncle Sam wear red, white and blue suspenders?

To hold up his pants.

What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?

Chicken Catch-a-Tory.

What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.

And a bonus giggle for the crafty grandmas:

What famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?

A wreath o’ Franklin.

Today's question:

What are your family's Fourth of July traditions?