Grandma's Briefs

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29 holiday jokes for kids

'Tis the season of joy, and there's no more joyful sound than that of children's laughter. Share these jokes with your favorite kiddos to elicit some of that joyful noise this merry time of year.

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Where do snowmen keep their money?

In a snow bank.

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A puddle.

What is a snowman's favorite lunch?

An iceburger.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots?

What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?

Chill out.

Why can't the tree stand up on its own?

Because it doesn't have legs?

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet.

What does Santa say at the start of a race?

"Ready, set, HO!"

What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?

One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.

What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?

A pineapple!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?

Frostbite.

Why is Santa so good at karate?

Because he has a black belt.

What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture?

Santa Claws.

What do you call Santa when he takes a break?

Santa Pause.

What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?

Santa's burps.

How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?

Only one. After that, the sack is no longer empty.

What do elves do after school?

Their gnome work.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted flakes.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?

Claus-trophobic.

What falls a lot at the North Pole but never gets hurt?

Snow.

What goes "oh, oh, oh?"

Santa walking backwards.

How is the Christmas alphabet different than the regular alphabet?

It has NO EL.

Where do snowmen go to dance?

The snowball.

What do elves learn at elf school?

The elfabet.

Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?

Rude-olph.

What do mummies love most about Christmas?

All the wrapping.

How do you scare a snowman?

You get a hairdryer.

What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?

Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

How was the snowglobe feeling?

A little shaken up.

And one for the grandmas:Why are there only snowmen and no snowwomen?

Because only men would stand out in the cold without a coat.

Today's question:

What's your favorite holiday joke, riddle, or knock-knock joke?