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From the mouths of (gray-haired) babes

Kids may say the darndest things, but grandmas often say the most memorable things! Did your wise ol' grandma offer up nuggets of gold? Have you run across a sweet -- or shocking -- comment from a grandma in the news? Did a line spoken by a grandma in a book or movie wrap itself around your heart?

If so, share it with the readers of Grandma's Briefs. Just e-mail me the quote, who said it, and where you heard it. I'll add the quote to the Quotable Grandmas list. Publication of submissions is at my discretion, of course; this is a PG -- sometimes PG-13 -- rated site.

 

 

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Quotable Grandmas

 

“Just as you can’t know what being a mother’s like until you have your first child, similarly you can’t know what being a grandparent’s like until you have grandchildren. I think there’s so much to be gained in both directions." ~ Gloria Hunniford, author, "Glorious Grandparenting" (Liverpool Echo) 

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"Teaching a woman how to be a grandmother is like teaching a child how to enjoy an ice cream cone with colored sprinkles! This is a position that has been earned after the many years of raising children and then being blessed to watch them raise their own." ~ Linda Daya, (Community Magazine)

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"Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation." ~ Lois Wyse (1926-2007), author

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“As I get older, my age teaches me a lot. I’ve learned life isn’t hurry up and get to the end." ~ Joyce Rochette, 78, personal trainer for 44 years. (The Eldorado Hills, CA Telegraph)

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“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” ~ Phyllis Diller, "Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints"

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"I don’t have to make the hard decisions, but I do get to inform, mentor, guide, love, and nourish these young souls." ~ Dorothy Firman, Ed.D. (PsychologyToday.com)

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"There's no reason why you could not go back. Some people do give up the idea or postpone the idea. It's too late. It's too much work. They may not realize that once you try it it's exciting to go to school." ~ Hazel Soares, 94, the world's second-oldest person to graduate from college. (USA Today)

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"As much as I want my kids and grandkids to follow their dreams, I hope their dreams don't take them too far away." ~ Susan Adcox, grandma and About.com Grandparents Guide

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"Pretty is as pretty does" (in other words, "...no matter how you appear, if you don't act nice, you're ugly"). ~ Minnie Elizabeth Allen, aka Granny (Submitted by Ann Kelly)

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"A sign of maturity is delayed gratification. It's the essence of life." ~ Mickie Shapiro, 74-year-old grandma who has competed in 20 Ironman competitions -- and won 8 -- in the past 20 years. (Edmonton Journal)

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"God will mold your back to bear your burdens." ~ Grandma Schiffman (Submitted by Grandma Lizzie)

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"One thing that blesses a giver is to have a gracious receiver. Even receiving can be a gift to another." ~ Martha Penrose, 80, of Juneau, Alaska (Juneau Empire)

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"Before I was a grandmother, everyone said I would love it because when the baby cries you can give her back to her parents. That is a cliché. I'm not sure I can put the grandmother feeling in words, but if I had to, I'd choose lightness and joy. I think that's because my job is enrichment. Everything I do is extra, and therefore good." ~ Heather Lende, Heather Lende's Small-Town Alaska, Alaska Dispatch

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"I don't feel like I'm 90 although my body does. I thought just having a birthday party would be a bit tame." ~ Gean Hodsdon, a Linlithglow, Scotland grandma who celebrated her 90th birthday by going whitewater rafting. (UPI.com)

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"That child is no bigger than a bar of lye soap after a hard day's wash." and "That won't last as long as a clean shirt in a fight." and "You're as handy as a pocket on a shirt." ~ Juanita Blagg, mother and grandmother (Submitted by Janie B)

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"Be sure you lock the doors. There's just so much meanness in the world!" and "My Stars!" or "My Conscience!" ~ Jane Johnson, mother and grandmother (Submitted by Janie B)

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"You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached." ~ Louise Lard, mom and grandma-extraordinaire. (Submitted by Pam)

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"Any decent woman can tell when air is hitting where air shouldn't be hitting." ~ My Granny, Minnie Elizabeth Allen, regarding a woman with too short a skirt or too low a neckline. (Submitted by Ann)

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Grandpas can be quotable, too! Here are a few quotes from Gene Perret, submitted by Susan Adcox, Grandparents Guide at About.com. Susan says: "Perret is a comedy writer who has written for Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller and Carol Burnett and has also written children's books. I love his quotations about how grandchildren wear you out! I included a sweet quotation at the end to show that he's not all curmudgeon."

  • "On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town."
  • "I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It's a bargain."
  • "My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too."
  • "Do you know why grandchildren are always so full of energy? They suck it out of their grandparents."
  • "An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly."
  • "What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure."

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"I wish I'd been brave enough to not do anything but, instead, I chose to be a somewhat more glamorous grandma." ~ Jane Fonda on her recent cosmetic surgery at the age of 72.

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"We new grandmothers are not only not about to keel over dead -- we're not even next in line. We have as much as thirty years of being grandparents ahead of us. And great-grandparents!" ~ Adair Lara, "The Granny Diaries."

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"I'm going to bop until I drop." ~ Roey Pokrass, an 80-year-old grandmother of five who has taught dance and exercise classes near Milwaukee for more than 30 years and is still going strong. (Milwaukee, WI, Journal Sentinal)

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"Here is a baby for whom you don't have to grip the armrests, whom you can adore without being responsible for everything that goes wrong. You aren't in charge, so nothing will be your fault. It's like being told you no longer have to eat vegetables, only dessert -- and really only the icing." ~ Roxana Robinson, in "Eye of My Heart."

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"It makes it very easy to be a grandmother when your children are good parents." ~ Marian Robinson, Michelle Obama's mother and grandmother to Sasha and Malia Obama.

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"Why should he have my money when I've worked hard for it? He thought, 'white hair, little old biddy.' But I was so angry." ~ Margaret Stoneman, 69 and a 5'3" grandmother of five who fought off a 6' masked robber who came at her with a 6-inch serrated knife. (Mirror.co.uk)

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"One of the best things about being a grandparent, I decide, is getting a free pass to act like an imbecile whenever you're with the baby." ~ Barbara Graham, in "Eye of My Heart."

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"The birth of a grandchild reduces your basic female to a happy, drooling idiot." ~ Adair Lara, "The Granny Diaries."

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"What a grandparent knows that a parent does not know are the years of small failures, of wishing you had been this kind of parent instead of that kind, of decisions made and revisions tried, then the slow, inevitable, terrible, wonderful breaking away." ~ Susan Shreve, in "Eye of My Heart."

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"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be." ~ Grandma Moses, painter, grandmother to 9, great-grandmother to more than 30.

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