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Megan (middle daughter) with hubby Preston and Declan, Camden, and Brayden

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    « Picture this: Top 10 reasons why grandmas rule (Infographic) | Main | Grandmother Power, Jared and the GRAND Social »

    Wherein Grandma whines and wails about not getting her way

    grandma and grandsonsFor one bright, shining moment recently, all was right in my world as a mother and grandmother.

    Brianna, my oldest, was happy with herself, happy in her job, happy with her Harley-riding boyfriend.

    Andrea, my youngest, was happy with herself, in her job, and with her camera-toting boyfriend, too.

    Megan, my middle daughter — mother to my grandsons and a teacher, too — was happy with the prospect of the school year ending, happy with her ever-so-helpful hubby, happy with being Mommy to my grandsons.

    And I, mother and grandmother, was happy not only because they all were happy, but also because Megan mentioned she and Preston had accumulated enough Southwest rewards points that Megan and my grandsons could possibly, nay, probably, visit Gramma and PawDad at the end of May.

    A probable visit meant my entire family (except Preston, who would have to work) would soon be together for the first time since June of last year.

    A probable visit meant we'd all get to celebrate Mac's birthday and Bubby's birthday — which are both in June — while they're here.

    A probable visit would mean Megan would get to meet her sisters' boyfriends who just might one day be more than that.

    digging for treasureAnd a probable visit meant Bubby and Mac would finally get to dig for treasure in our back yard again, something Bubby had wished and wished and wished for during my visit a few weeks ago. (That and to watch Gramma make popcorn in the popcorn cart again, too.)

    All was right and good in my world.

    For one bright and shining moment.

    Alas, how quickly those bright, shining moments fade.

    Megan told me this past weekend that the possible trip to the mountains had become a definite-no-question-about-it no go. With many changes on the horizon for them, she and Preston would be consumed all summer working out important details on the this and that for their family.

    Plus, when not working on this and that, they'd be using their Southwest reward points to attend the wedding of Preston's cousin. With no Southwest rewards to spare, a trip to the mountains to see family was simply not going to happen. Not soon. Not in the not-so-soon either.

    *Poof!* My bright, shining moment vanished, with no reappearance likely for quite some time. At least when it comes to having my entire family together. At my place, at any place.

    Sure, I will likely (I hope) get to see my grandsons before the end of 2013... at their place. But they — and Megan — won't get to visit my place. Worse yet, they won't get to see PawDad, Aunt B or Aunt Andie. And PawDad, Aunt B and Aunt Andie won't get to see them.

    I get that other things must take priority at the moment. I sincerely get that. But that doesn't mean I can't be disappointed. Yet the word disappointed doesn't begin to explain how it feels.

    Yes, I know it could be worse, that people are dealing with devastation beyond compare to my relatively trivial complaints. And there are innumerable parents and grandparents who have it far worse than I do, parents and grandparents who get to see their loved ones far less often than I do... if at all.


    Perhaps I'm being silly. Jim and I have three daughters, and we get to see two of them as often as we — or they — choose. Two out of three ain't bad... or so I'm supposed to believe.

    Every once in a while, though, I want more than two out of three. I want the trifecta of daughters all at one time — plus a double dose of grandsons, too. With PawDad. At our house. More for the sake of Jim and my other two daughters than for myself, as I do get to see Megan and the boys far more than the others do. But it's important the others see them, too, for it's hard to create close ties with family if chunks of the family never see one another. I want my grandsons to have close family ties — with all the chunks of our family.

    grandpa and grandsons

    For now, though, it's not going to happen. Definitely not this summer, and for who knows how long after that.

    Priorities. I get it. I do. And I don't begrudge Megan doing what she must in figuring out important matters, doing what's right for her family. I really, truly, honestly get it.

    But that doesn't mean I — and PawDad, Aunt B and Aunt Andie — can't be disappointed... or whatever the word for mega-super-duper-disappointed might be.

    (It also doesn't mean I'll whine and wail forever. Just for today.)

    Today's fill-in-the-blank:

    The last time my family was all together was _____________.

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    Reader Comments (13)

    Darnit, so sorry to hear! I think you should give yourself at LEAST 2 days to whine and wail. While you're at it, perhaps stomp your feet and shed a few tears?

    My family was all together a week ago this past Saturday. My Granddaughter had a dance competition (we were all there to cheer her on and enjoy lunch together afterwards). I'm counting my blessings right now.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNonnieKelly

    The last time my family was all together was Thanksgiving of 2011. Far too long ago.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPammeey

    Ouch. We drive back east every summer to spend weeks with our families, but now that my sons are grown, they are not able to come with us. It's a long drive, which I hate, but it's important to me that my daughter know my family, and that I spend time with my nieces. I guess I feel that because I am the one who moved away, the responsibility for making it happen is mine.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger Kay

    First let me say I love the pictures! Amazing how much the boys have grown in less than a year.

    We have never had all of my family together. I do get to see my daughter, her hubby and the best granddaughter ever, on a regular basis but the rest of my family is in Michigan. My (step) Mom has never had the chance to meet Amara or her Daddy and she has never met Richard. It would take getting all of us to her and it just hasn't ever happened.....someday. VERY glad I was able to get back there last year to see everyone.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGrandma Kc

    You must feel like you did when you found out your Mom and Dad were the only Santa Claus; I'm so sorry.

    The last time my HUGE family was all together was nearly 12 years ago, for my 60th birthday, at your house. That's still a good memory for me.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

    Of course, there is always the option of flying them out to see you.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJane

    I'm sorry. You were anticipating a wonderful time, only to learn it won't be possible. That is disappointing!

    The last time all my kids were together was at Thanksgiving, but that was before the birth of my granddaughter. One of my sons still hasn't met his niece, and I'm not sure we'll all be together anytime before Christmas.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

    My two adult kids and my one grandchild live in the same city I do, for now anyway, so I get to see them regularly. But last July we had both extended families in town for my son's wedding. Except my father-in-law who passed away last May.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie E.

    It's funny how we always want what we don't have. I see the entire group together often, but I long for something else....just the 3 daughters and I, ALONE! That was easy to do before the grandkids came. We'd all meet for lunch once a month. But even with everyone local, it is too hard to coordinate that now without the husbands and kids around too!

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoyce

    Good things almost happening is the pits! And going to their place isn't the same as haaving them come to yours. Our grandkids are a nine hour drive away so visits are few. For them it's nine hours with three little kids in the car so they come this way even less. Sigh, I guess it's time to work on my gratitude list again.

    May 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteraxiesdad

    Silly! Silly! Wanting your family to be all together is anything but silly. Devastated is the word I would use and I understand every word you are saying.

    May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGrown and Flown

    Thank you for the thoughtful comments, everyone!

    Ginger Kay: I love your philosophy. That's how it should be, I think.

    Grandma Kc: Hits home regarding there always being someone facing a bigger challenge. I feel for you.

    Jane: Oh, if only I had the money to do that! I'd be all over that, even be willing to go GET the boys, fly them here, then fly them back. Not happening on the income of a freelancer. :-D

    Kristi and AxiesDad: You two know exactly what I'm talking about. Unfortunate for all of us...

    Joyce: That's interesting. I suppose I'd likely feel that way. Maybe when some of the grandkids get old enough to babysit the others, you could recruit the older ones to watch the others and give moms and Grandma time for lunch dates. Good luck! (Or just recruit the dads!!)

    Grown and Flown: I appreciate that. I often feel like a big ol' whiny baby. :-)

    Oh Lisa it sadden me to read this post. I know how much having all the family together means t you. Sending you a hug from a chilly Wellington.

    I have not been together with my son & daughter for well over 20 years now. I have spent time with my wonderful son.

    May 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSally Kabak
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