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    « Picture this: Two crabs | Main | Fowl play, plus GRAND Social No. 59 »
    Tuesday
    Jul022013

    Fourth of July jokes for kids

    Time once again for some seasonal silliness to share with the (school-age) grandkids. This time it's giggles — plus a few groans — related to patriotism and our beloved Independence Day.

    fourth of july jokes

    Why did the duck say bang?
    Because he was a firequacker.

    What did one flag say to the other flag?
    Nothing, it just waved.

    What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?
    One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.

    Do they have a Fourth of July in England?
    Of course, it’s the day between the third of July and the fifth of July.

    What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
    Liber-tea!

    What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?
    Fire-crackers.

    What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
    Dino-mite!

    What ghost haunted King George III?
    The spirit of ’76.

    Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
    Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

    What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?
    A Yankee Doodler.

    What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
    A fire cracker.

    What was George Washington’s favorite tree?
    The infantry.

    What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?
    My pop's bigger than your pop.

    Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
    Because she can’t sit down.

    Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
    They’re both cracked.

    What was the most popular dance in 1776?
    Indepen-dance.

    What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
    Tea-shirts.

    What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
    The Americans licked the British.

    What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
    Revo-lotion.

    Why does Uncle Sam wear red, white and blue suspenders?
    To hold up his pants.

    What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
    Chicken Catch-a-Tory.

    What did King George think of the American colonists?
    He thought they were revolting.

    Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
    On the bottom.

    And a bonus giggle for the crafty grandmas:
    What famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?
    A wreath o’ Franklin.

    Today's question:

    What are your family's Fourth of July traditions?

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    Reader Comments (4)

    lol. I'll have to print these out since I've never been able to remember the punchline to a joke.

    Lisa, huge congrats on being named a Voices of the Year People's Choice winner!! Keep up the great work, and thank you for speaking out for the rest of us in your winning 'Grandma in a Box' post. As far as I'm concerned, that post deserved a Pulitzer. Go, Grandmas!!

    July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNonnieKelly

    Congratulations Lisa!! The award couldn't have gone to a better Grandma! Thanks for all the 4th of July jokes -- going to keep those handy for when the girls come over.

    July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGrandma Kc

    Congratulations on your winnings, you deserve even more! I'm so glad when you get recognition, you sure do so much for which you earn it!

    Don't have any plans for the Fourth this year but a big ole family cook-out has for years been the way we celebrated, with fireworks. Sure don't want any of those with our forests such tinderboxes right now. Have good ones though, everybody!

    Your jokes remind me of when you kids all tried to outdo one another with jokes.

    July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

    "Do they have a Fourth of July in England?
    Of course, it’s the day between the third of July and the fifth of July."

    We lived in England for a while when I was 12. The ex-pats (Americans living abroad) in our little British town gathered at a local park and set off fireworks on the 4th of July. The Brits weren't so impressed! =)

    Another note ... they refer to that whole "unfortunate incident" as "the states rebellion" rather than the Revolution!

    July 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeth Zimmerman
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