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    « Celebrating Seuss | Main | Two words: Missing you »
    Thursday
    Feb282013

    Like mother, like daughter?

    How are your kids like you?

    My friend Lisa from Grown and Flown wrote an excellent piece on exactly that question this past week. Long after reading Lisa's thought-provoking post, I pondered again and again just how my daughters might be like me. I considered just how different they are from me, too.

    Brianna, my eldest, is quite similar to me in many ways. From the time she was quite young, my younger daughters — and sometimes Jim, too — called Brianna "Mom 2" because she was a bossy little thing and always stepped in to control her sisters and unsavory situations if I didn't. Occasionally even when I did, to be honest. Brianna enjoys the same books and movies as I do. She has many other similar likes and dislikes, and many of my same mannerisms, too.

    Megan, my middle daughter, is the least like me of all my girls. We're quite opposite in the most fundamental of likes and dislikes. She likes to shop; I don't. She likes to talk on the phone; I don't. She runs marathons, and I feel like I'm doing pretty well if I manage to walk the dogs around the neighborhood. The one area she is very much like me, though — which she may or may not willingly agree — is in our approach to motherhood and the parenting principles we hold dear. Since being a mom has been my most important role so far, I guess that in the end, Megan may be the daughter most like me after all.

    Andrea, my youngest ... well, Andrea is a nut. The biggest nut of all my daughters. And the one that is probably most like me in many ways. Many ways that make us butt heads yet still consider the other among our most loved and loyal fans. We're both born under the astrological sign of Cancer, so perhaps that's part of it. Of my favorite resemblences: Andrea and I enjoy the same kind of music. The mix CDs she would send me from college are some of my most treasured possessions — and not just because I loved the music.

    That's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to our similarities and differences. I'm continually impressed by the ways my daughters are different from me, always pleased by the ways they mimic me — even when they balk at the thought they, heaven forbid, do and say things just like their mother at times.

    In their words and their actions, it's fairly easy to see how my daughters take after me. Physically, though, is a different story. I'll leave it to you to decide which daughter looks most like her mother. If you ask me, there's not a bit of resemblance between any of us.

    mother and daughter relationshipLike mother like daughter? From the top: Brianna, Megan, Andrea

    Today's question:

    In what ways do your kids resemble you, physically or otherwise?

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    Reader Comments (18)

    Brianna gets my vote for closest lookalike. How fortunate you are to have a close relationship with all of them! I've often wondered how much like me a daughter of mine would look...it's harder to tell with my boys. But they each possess qualities of mine in other ways. Some good, some bad, but I love the way these traits pop up when I least expect them to.

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy trotta

    Yep, Brianna! It is funny that you say you don't think any of you look alike. I think the same about my daughters and then one of them will start to introduce me to a new friend with, "this is my mom..." and before they can finish the friend will say something like, "Well that is obvious!". I think it is hard to see the family resemblance when you are part of the family!

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTerry

    Based on the pictures Brianna does look most like you but the resemblance is strong in all of them!

    Jenna certainly resembles me physically -- especially her height and her smile!

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGrandma Kc

    My kids each resemble me - both physically and otherwise - in very different ways. What's so interesting to me is how the things that infuriate me about each of them are the exact things that are most like me - my son's inclination towards physical laziness and occasional remoteness, my daughter's impatience and sometimes judgmental attitude (though I've overcome the last as I've gotten older). My mother has always said our children come to teach us things, and I've definitely learned a lot about myself by seeing myself in them!

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharon Greenthal

    My daughter looks like I did when I was very young and my son looks like me now. I see bits and pieces of myself (good and bad) in both of them. My mom used to tell me I'd get one just like me when I misbehaved. She was right!

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarpool Goddess

    Mindy: Yeah, we are all pretty close. Their mates likely think too close at times. :-D I can imagine it'd be more difficult to see the physical resemblance with sons. I bet you'll get a granddaughter who looks much like you.

    Terry: I get many of the same reactions upon meeting people. I'm not sure that thrills my daughters much.

    Kc: Jenna is very lucky to have your height and smile. From what I've read, I believe she has your kind heart, too.

    Sharon: You're so right. Our most annoying habits seem magnified when we see them in our kids. Perhaps it's to teach us a lesson. Or, as Lisa mentioned in her post, to help us forgive ourselves for certain traits.

    Carpool Goddess: I know what you mean. Having one just like me was one of my greatest fears. Thank God they had more sense than me in their teens ... even now, to be honest.

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa @ Grandma's Briefs

    As Gramma to all those pretty girls, I, too, see more resemblance to you in Brianna but see a lot of Jim in all of them, too. Just be glad you and he are both so good-looking.

    That's why I always told you five girls of mine to never date any ugly boys because I didn't want any ugly grandchildren. And, who knows when a date might become a husband?

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

    My daughter is adopted, so she looks nothing like me, but she has acquired some of my mannerisms. My son looks like my family, although he has his daddy's big brown eye, dark hair and olive complexion.
    Family resemblance gets really interesting when you research your family tree. I've connected with distant family members through Ancestry.com and am shocked at how much we look alike.
    BTW, nice looking family!

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLinda D'Ae-Smith

    So interesting how the genes mix up. I can see elements of myself in all of my kids. And my husband too. I love your pics. You have three lovely daughters. Just like their Mama!

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Fox

    Physically, thank goodness, neither of my sons resemble me much. The one thing they both possess that is most like me is their sense of humor. We are all quite fond of laughing and finding the fun in things. We all have a joyful zest for life and it has kept us going through the toughest of times. I also like to think my sons have my love for the educational process as well as my intellect...but I will have to defer some of that to their fathers. Sometimes I see my smile and a certain sparkle in their eyes when I look at them, and it warms my heart. Other than that, they are amazing individuals who have carved a productive and happy life for themselves.

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTerri Sonoda

    Oh my gosh, you guys...peas in a pod much? :)

    It strikes me that this would have made a lovely topic for a GenFab blog hop--so much we could all say on it! Thanks for your take, and for the great pictures. You look like a family where love is in strong supply.

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

    I don't think any of my kids or grandkids look much like me at all, but I do have to laugh when one of my daughters does or says something, followed by "oh no, that was just like Mom".

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJeanie

    Loved Lisa's and your posts. I have two daughters. The oldest is so much like me and the younger one is so different from me but I am close with both. Remarkable. P.S. Brianna is your double.

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaryn/the Mid Life Guru

    Lisa how fortunate you are to have such a wonderful relationship with your beautiful daughters. Treasure every moment that you spend with them.

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSally Kabak

    Thank you, everyone! I do have some pretty girls. And Brianna is the one that most often gets told she looks just like her mother, for sure.

    Linda: It must be interesting to see your daughter pick up on your traits and mannerisms knowing it has absolutely nothing to do with genes.

    Terri: The love for all things academic is such a huge gift you've bestowed upon your boys. What a smart mama they have!

    Karen: I agree — what a fun blog hop that would be!

    Sally: I am fortunate. It's too easy to forget that. Thank you!

    Again, thank you for the kind comments and for sharing, ladies! Such a fun topic.

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa @ Grandma's Briefs

    Great post and fun comments! I have to agree with all.....and just gush about the cute pics and funny faces you girls do with each other! This is def my feel good post for today! Love the "head shot!"....going to try with my grkids next time they're all together.
    Joan/Gramcracker

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan Stommen

    Such fun pics of you and your girls! My son is very much like me and my daughter is just like her dad. I always thought it would be the other way around.

    February 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

    You have three beautiful girls that I think they all resemble you in a beautiful way. My daughter and I have heard the "obvious" comment as well. My daughter loves being a mom, making her house a home, and working outdoors. We are exactly the same there. We do differ in how to approach things - not right or wrong, just different. I'm a planner and sometimes do things too early and wind up having wasted my time if it's not necessary while she is more laid back and does it right before it is due. I don't know if this is a difference in approach or just a difference in age. Like you, I'm very proud of her and am appreciative of having time to spend with her.

    March 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJudy@grandparentsplus2
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