Musings on eating, with two hands
Tuesday, September 25, 2012 
If not for that well-placed comma in today's post title, you just might think what follows will be all about double-fisted dining. That's not it at all. Today I'm spouting recent thoughts I've had on the contradictions related to kids and how they eat. Or don't eat.
On one hand (this is the "two hands" part), we all know about, are concerned about the frightening statistics on childhood obesity today. The issue tops the list of those addressed by our first lady, health and welfare organizations, doctors, school lunch programs. Most importantly, it's something on the minds of many a parent and grandparent.
We all want our kiddos to eat less, move more, be in better shape overall. Privately as well as publicly, we show concern that kids are exercising too little, eating too much.
That's on one hand.
On the other hand, always on the minds of mothers and grandmothers, more so than anyone, is how the heck to get our little ones to eat. Especially when it comes to toddlers. They don't seem to eat when we want them to or what we want them to.
In direct contrast to the obesity issue, there's the continual concern on the part of many a frazzled parent or grandparent that a child isn't getting enough food. There are books, magazines, websites, television programs dedicated to helping figure out how to get some food into the mouths and tummies of those tiny tots so they can grow up big and strong.
We beg, plead, cajole, bribe, sometimes even punish, all in the name of getting Junior to eat. I'm not talking about just veggies and other healthy foods. If you regularly enjoy the company of a child under the age of five, you likely know what I mean.
My oldest grandson is the very pickiest of the pickiest kids I have ever met. That darn kid doesn't like pudding...or whipped cream...or jello. He doesn't like jelly on his peanut butter sandwiches. He refuses to eat cheese quesadillas if the brown spots on the tortilla are noticeable. And he has never, ever had a hamburger—not even as part of a McDonald's Happy Mealin. Not in his entire life. Seriously. "I don't like them" is his response when asked why. How he knows that is your guess as good as mine, since he's never had so much a nibble of a burger.
Yet he does like avocados, broccoli, salmon. A kid can't live on those things alone, though. Well, they probably could...maybe...but that's not being realistic. So his mom and dad (and grandma and other caregivers, at times) spend inordinate amounts of time and energy trying to get the kid to eat. Anything. I used to think Megan was making it up. Then I spent extended time with Bubby and came away wondering—still wonder—how he manages to stay alive much less thrive.
Then there's his brother. My youngest grandson. My Mac. The happiest little eater ever. Mac dives right in, willing to experience all things edible—plus things non-edible at times, too. He even dipped into the salsa dish just like the big boys when we recently visited a Mexican restaurant. Sure, he once famously sneered and snarled at strawberries, but he gobbled them right up the very next day, so those Grandma served up just must have seemed exceptionally tart to him.
Mac enjoys food, enjoys eating. Nearly anything. Megan sent me the following photos the other night of Mac happily trying out a new recipe she had cooked up.
Bubby greets Mommy's new recipes with disdain; Mac delights in them, requires a big fork to to satisfy his big appetite.
On one hand there's Bubby, who refuses to eat. On the other hand there's Mac, who eats anything and everything.
On one hand there's the problem of childhood obesity and the need to get kids to eat less and better. On the other hand there's the frustration and desperation many parents face in trying to get their kids to eat anything at all.
Parenting can be a challenge, and never more so—nor more conflict-ridden—than when it comes to kids and food. The getting them to eat, but not eat too much.
Just one more reason I'm glad I'm Grandma to little ones, not Mom. I get to muse; Megan/Mom gets to wring her hands while trying to figure out how to make her kids eat—just not too much.
Today's question:
What has been your bigger challenge as a parent or grandparent: Getting kids to eat less and more healthy or getting them to eat anything at all?
Reader Comments (11)
My biggest food challenge as a Grandparent has been my Granddaughter's disdain for most meat. If she'd eat peanut butter or fish, perhaps not so problematic. Just about anything else is a go. We suspect some genes passed down through the generations since she was snitching pepperoni, black olives, and green pepper off our pizza at the age of 1. She also loves pasta, bread, and veggies :)
We're still discovering foods my Grandson likes/dislikes. Although he can't yet talk, we're learning quickly since he will immediately gag if he doesn't like it.
Oreo cookies are a win-win with both. We haven't yet worried about obesity because they're both very active and healthy. Knock wood.
My biggest challenge has been to get my grandson to eat enough. There are definitely a few days that I am amazed at how he seems to be hungry all the time (growth spurt?) but there are way too many times that I don't feel he has eaten enough. Same applied to his mother when she was young too! When my his Mom was young, we started the "no thank you" bite rule and we still insist on this rule with our grandson. He has actually discovered that he likes some foods that he insisted he didn't like.
It depends on the day. Some days all he wants are cookies, another day he will eat anything (and everything). Lately, it's been more of a challenge to get a good variety in him. He ate three bowls of homemade applesauce but no meat or veg yesterday.
Those cute little boys are getting enough and not too much; I had every imaginable problem with the eating or non-eating with seven children but, they've all lived and are now between 42 and 53 so, chill, all you young grandmoms, they will all live.
Now, in my old age, two little dogs are driving me nuts with their preferences; I'm sure they are going to die from self-imposed starvation or gluttony. See what I mean?
Bubby and Mac sound just like my oldest daughter's two boys.....the oldest has always been very picky....no hamburgers, pizza, quesadillas, etc. The younger one eats everything and wants to eat all the time. At 11 and 9, they are both very active, involved in lots of sports and healthy. My guess is the picky eaters are getting plenty and will grow out of the pickiness.
My issues with the grandkids are most often that they will not eat, rather than indulge too much. I can't help but comment here though, that both Bubby and Nonnie Kelly's granddaughter have self-selected very healthy eating for themselves! The vegetarians in our family thrive with low cholesterol and are lean and fit. And then there's the humanitarian factor. I'd love to see the day where we all stay away from meat and eat like the aforementioned kiddies do! In the meantime, Lisa, your mom knows what she's talking about! LOL Listen to her!
My (now grown) older two boys were just like these two. My oldest has still never tried a hamburger and my next son will still eat anything. I wondered sometimes if we don't all experience taste and texture differently. I let my oldest be figuring that creating eating issues was probably the biggest risk I ran. Good luck to your daughter!
Our grandkids have gone through phases. If they don't seem to eat much for a while, we try not to worry because things will balance out soon enough. Their mom feeds them very wisely, and we do almost as well (just not so many homemade soups, etc.). At our house their favorite snack is Cheerios and yogurt...any time of day. Both are active, and their parents are helping them explore things they like to do (swim, bike, dance, etc.).
I find it so interesting that everyone seems to have had the same experience: kids who don't want to eat. Yet obesity is such an issue. When is the tipping point and we start being concerned about them eating too much? Teen years? Though I've seen some sadly overweight little ones, so that can't be it.
Lydia (Mai): I'd love to hear about the "no thank you" bite rule.
Love the comments, ladies! Thank you.
It always rocks back and forth but fortunately for me hasn't been an issue. I had one very picky eater, and two boys who ate mounds of food. But they were very active and the "fuel" must have been necessary. My little granddaughters are good eaters. I, however, could look and smile at the photos of your adorable, happy little grandsons eating for a long time. Ahhh to take such delight in food. I applaud that unrestrained joy. With both hands.
To anyone who wishes to criticize me about my kids' occasional consumption of Happy Meals, I say this: "Look, dude, I'm just trying to get enough calories into them to keep them alive."
My kids don't eat. They just ... don't. Kaylee's getting better, and Robbie won't touch anything that isn't an M&M or a chicken nugget. I put vegetables on their plates, but I'm generally happy if they take a bite of ANYTHING that I've put in front of them.