Brotherly love
Thursday, July 5, 2012 In my family, there's not much of a tradition of close, loving, secret-sharing relationships between the female siblings. I read in books, see in movies, even observe in some of my friends and their sisters the ideal sisterly state. In the real world, though, in my real world that's flush with far more females than males, it just hasn't been. Not for those sisters who came before me nor for those who've come after.
My mom and her two sisters clearly love one another, but I'd venture to say calling each other best friends would be pushing it. My sisters and I? Well, we did—and do—love one another, but in a group of five females, you can imagine the competitions, the cat fights. Or maybe you can't, if you're one of the fortunate ones who indeed calls your sister your best friend.
Even my own daughters—whom I have no doubt whatsoever love and cherish one other dearly—aren't now and never have been a tight-knit trio. Nor is there even an exclusive duo among the three, leaving a third wheel to roll on her own. (Which, truth be told, I accept, for having one child continually left out and heartbroken would be an even more difficult situation than the overall arms length at which they all seem to keep one another.)
It saddens me that somehow, somewhere, the sisters-as-best-friends gene seems to have skipped generation after generation after generation in my family. I envy those sisters for whom the sappy adages cross-stitched on pillows and emblazoned across coffee mugs ring true. I wanted that. I wanted that for my daughters.
When it comes to my grandsons, though, they do have that. And what a heartwarming delight it is to see. Bubby and Mac are unabashedly best buds, best friends who love and cherish, adore and idolize one another. Countless times during their visit I witnessed one reaching out to the other just to cuddle or kiss, share a toy or a moment. Sometimes I'd see one little hand pat a shoulder, an arm, a cheek as if they simply needed assurance their best buddy was still there.
Just as many times, I watched one hop on the other as though a bell audible to only them had been rung, signaling the start of a wrestling match. They'd giggle and roll and squeal in delight. Then just as quickly, the match would be over and they'd move on to another activity, together or solo, secure in knowing their brother, their best friend, was nearby if the urge to wrestle and wrangle struck once again.
Of course Bubby and Mac argue, compete for attention, clamor for the very same toys and don't hold back physically or vocally in challenging one another for what they feel is rightfully theirs. But once the victor is declared—by virtue of who's most determined to get their way or by virtue of Mommy or another adult breaking up the bickering—they're right back to lovin' on one another. No grudges, no resentment.
I'm not sure how it happened. I don't know whether Megan subconsciously—or consciously—did something absolutely perfectly right in creating the connection between the boys, instilled something that eluded me when raising my girls, or if it's just luck of the draw and she came up with the winning and perfectly matched pair.
Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, I'd say that Bubby and Mac are the true winners. I hope their winning streak continues. They'll always be brothers, of course. I'm crossing my fingers and saying my prayers that they'll always—and in all ways—be best friends, as well.
Today's question:
Which of your siblings did you consider your best friend as children?
Reader Comments (14)
They are fortunate indeed. I hope the attachment continues through their lives. My family tends to be like yours. I love my sibs, but we are not the close knit gang I seein some families.
When I was almost 20 my Dad gave me the most wonderful step-sister and to this day Sandy is my best friend. Unlike the real sister I had who was a year and 2 weeks younger than me. We did not like each other from the day she was born and to be honest my mother only made it worse by constantly pitting us against one another. I wish I could say I loved my real sister anyway but had she not been my sister she is sure not someone I would have ever liked or ever wanted to know.
My sons are not close either. They care for one another, of course, but one is nine years older than the other and grew up in a different time almost. They just never connected. A couple weeks ago, they were both here for the wedding of my older son, and seemed to enjoy each other's company a great deal.
My sister and I grew up in a very dysfunctional home, and I think It kind of forced us together. We were always close and always have been, even though we live far apart. I wouldn't call her my best friend, though. I have a "best friend" who gets that distinction all on her own. Those things are separate to me. Whatever that means! :-)
This really struck a cord with me. Your grandsons are so lucky I hope they will always be close . I only have a brother who is nearly three years younger than me,he has never married and we have nothing in commen, I have saw him twice since mum died about seven years ago. I sometimes feel bad about it but he has never shown any interest in my children or congratulated me on being a gran,he is on my Facebook which is really the only contact. My son and daughter were friends until teenage years and now they barely speak ,no reason just my son, is not interested,so the same thing will happen to them when I go,I always wonder what did I do wrong? I wanted them to be there for each other.
Those two boys are so adorable!
My two children have gotten closer...of course one being a girl and one a boy, they fought alot during their teenage years. But now that they are adults, they've gotten closer....realizing that they are all they have.
I have one sister and 4 brothers...I am the oldest. I was never close to my sister probably because of our age difference....we are still not close. It's weird that we all grew farther apart as we grew older...I guess because of having to deal with our own families and life situations. My brother next to me was my best friend growing up....we played sports and he even would join me for a tea party!
How wonderful it must be to see the special bond between your Grandsons. Lucky Grandma!
My siblings are much older than I am, so it was many years before we had something in common besides the family genes. However, luck shined on me with a baby girl next door born 2 months after I was. We were best friends in the playpen and still BFFs 50 years later. Can't imagine my world without her.
Glad the boys are such good friends, hope they stay that way through teenage years, driving cars & over girls, and sports, etc.
Growing up, my sister two years younger, and I were always too competitive with one another and the much younger one (nine years) has always too much younger to share secrets with; she's the one with whom I feel closer as grown-ups, tho'. It's not something a parent does, though, that causes closeness or the lack thereof; I believe it's just life. Mine was fraught with too much in the way of worrisome situations, constantly. Hopefully, your little boys lives won't be that way but, instead, always with security and reassurance of their own value, always.
I see the same with my grand boys, Lisa--they are best buddies right now and I always hope they stay that way!
My family is mostly a family of women too and we are not as close as I would like either. I have noticed my grandkids seem closer to their siblings. I wonder if it's because there are 2 to a family instead of more like when we were kids.
I am one of four sisters. In birth order, I am number three. Growing up, number four and I were very close. Now, I'm closest to number one. We see each other regularly, talk on the phone several times a week, and occasionally travel together. We are closer than any of the others. We also have two older brothers.
My two children (a boy and a girl) fought like cats and dogs when they were growing up. But the first time they saw each other after the eldest left for college, they went running across the parking lot to grab and hug each other. As adults, they are very close.
I was an only child but my husband was one of nine. They are spread all over the country but all get along and keep in touch by phone. My two grandchildren (girl 11 and boy 6) get along great almost all the time. Sometimes, that five year difference just gets in the way. In general though, they care about each other. She always reads a package label before he eats something to make sure it has an allergen warning on it because he has food allergies. And, he always wants to know how many carbohydrates something is because she lives with Type 1 Diabetes. I know they will have their separate interests but hope they maintain a healthy relationship that works for both of them.
How wonderful that Buddy & Mac are close & very apparent by the photos of the love they have for each other.
I have only one brother who is five years older. He left home to go farming when I was 13, I was heart broken and can still see Mum and I standing in the drive watching as he left home for good, tears streaming down my face. He was and is still my best friend.
Thank you, everyone, for the touching comments! It's good, in a way, to hear that my family must not be all that unusual, as the distance between siblings seems far more prevalent than I expected. Some of the things you folks said really resonated, others saddened me. Thank you so much for your honesty. ♥
PS: This is one of those times I really wish I had comment threading on Squarespace (my blog host) so I could comment to each and every one of you directly below your comments to the post. :o(
Super sweet post and photos. My daughters are very close, and I am quite close to my sister, so it is possible for females to have close sibling relationships. I think it's a function of a combination of factors, with personalities being huge in the mix.