Right versus real
Thursday, July 26, 2012 
Bubby and Mac had the privilege of going to California last week. They saw the ocean for the first time, frolicking on the beach and splashing in the waves.
They visited Disneyland for the first time, experiencing the thrills and chills of one of the happiest places on earth. They rode rides at the recently opened Cars Land.
I'm so jealous.
I'm not jealous because I want to have fun in the sun or meet up with Lightning McQueen and the gang in Radiator Springs. I'm jealous because it was the other grandparents who treated my grandsons to the grand weekend trip.
I know, I know, I know: That's not right.
But that's real.
Believe me, I wish I didn't feel that way.
I wish I didn't look at the pictures Megan posted on Facebook—and graciously granted me permission to use—through the green-tinged lens of a jealous grandma.
I don't want to be jealous. At all. Bubby and Mac had the time of their lives, and I'm ever so happy for that, for them. I'm ever so happy the other grandparents are able and willing to do things Jim and I can't.
Yet, I'm jealous.
That doesn't mean, though, that I wish the trip wouldn't have happened. Or that it would have been a bust, that the good times hadn't rolled for one and all. I truly don't begrudge the boys, their parents, their other grandparents the delightful trip, filled with new thrills and chills and colorful fun beyond compare.
Being jealous also doesn't mean I gloated over the not-so delightful parts of their trip. The forgotten sunscreen and the subsequent burned grandbabies. Or the terrifying moments for Bubby when he rode a thrill ride with heart-pounding thrills he's not yet ready for.
Or the equally terrifying moments for Mac when he came face-to-face with the silly-but-oh-so-scary-to-a-one-year-old Sully.
I didn't and don't gloat over such things. I don't want my grandsons to experience pain or terror. Ever. I want nothing but good times, delightful times for them. And I'm genuinely thankful and appreciative their other grandparents—who are good and kind and loving people—help provide rich, exciting, interesting experiences for our mutual grandchildren, so the boys will lead rich, exciting, interesting lives.
That's what I want for the boys. Always. Without a doubt.
Still, I'm jealous.
That doesn't make me bad.
That makes me human.
Today's question:
When were you last jealous of the other grandparents—or your child's in-laws, if you're not a grandparent?
Reader Comments (10)
We're 'local'...so lucked out and we know it. So far I don't recall any jealousy about the other set of Grandparents. Surprisingly? I'm delighted because they are the perfect yin to our yang. Our Grandkids benefit from our differences.
For instance, other Gma is a fab gardener, baker, and I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have one decent pic of the Grandkids if not for her photography skills. Ditto the other Gpa who's the polar opposite of my hubby. The other Grandparents regularly Skype and visit. My Grandkids bask in their love and they adore them...long distance be darned.
And a word of warning to anyone who dares touch the special gardening stone given to my Granddaughter by other Gma...oy vey & mea culpa...lesson learned!
DISCLAIMER: I hereby reserve the right to be jealous at a future time and place of my own choosing.
It is human to feel that tinge of jealousy. On the other hand, you didn't have to deal with overly tired, sunburned kids and got to enjoy the outing vicariously. Win-win, in my world.
I am at many times 'jealous' of my Grandchildrens' 'other' Grandparents... They have typically been the ones that live closer, and who by virtue of situations have the 'monetary' opportunities to visit more often.... Does not mean they love 'our' Grandchildren more, just 'physically' more often.
It pains my heart and soul not be be able to just drive across town or a few hours away or such to see my Grandchildren...
When my children were growing up, luck was with us and we lived a stones throw from my parents, my Grandmother and my Dad's Mom and Dad... my children were blessed wtih having these people in their lives daily....If they chose (adults and/or kids) Holidays you name it...
I knew without a doubt when they grew up and left the nest that my Grannie years would NOT be like my Mother's.... What a blessing it was for them and what a lesson it's been for me...
I've only seen my oldest Granddaughter(8) in person 3 times... thank goodness for the electronic technology we have today... I get to see her grow up and how beautiful she is.
Yes I get jealous, but I try not to compare, I LOVE my Grand Ones...and 'they' know it....
The last time I was jealous of the other grandmother was last week -- not jealous of her grandparenting skills but the fact she went out and bought a gorgeous 2012 Lexus SUV with heated and cooled seats -- it is all Amara has talked about!
At this years of experience as a GREAT-grandmother, I look back at the times I've been "jealous" of the other grandmother and find all sorts of different reactions, for instance, with your children, Dee was one I loved and admired so much as the truly good person she was, never ever felt any jealousy for when she could spend time with them. And, with six other children, I've had situations of much worse than jealousy-- resentment-- for the selfish, demanding people some grandmothers were and, even the fact that they have husbands and I'm widowed and without my helpmate to complete my "set" of grandparents. But, always, glad for the children who could have more good times than I, alone, could provide.
At this late stage in the "grandparenting game", I've become, like PopEye used to say in his old cartoons, "I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam!" (as long as the kids get all they can of good times, wherever it comes from).
Oh Lisa! I feel your pain! I too sit at home and hear about the fabulous trips and vacations the OTHER grandparent's get to take the gkids on and look at incredible pics of said vaca's. Actually, I never took my kids to those places for the same reason; lack of funds. I was thankful my kids got to go with friends then, and yes I am thankful my gkids get to go now. But once, I would like to be the one providing those good times. So, I sit here and think; My gkids other grandparents don't blog about their love and times with the kids, or teach them how to build scarecrows. Or, let them play in mud puddles. Or, do craft projects with them. I'll bet you can say about the same thing.
Olga: Excellent point! I didn't have to listen to crabby kids who needed a nap NOR worry about them peeling. :-D
Cherry: I cannot even imagine how difficult it is to see your granddaughter so rarely. I applaud you for still seeming to always be upbeat and chipper. I agree about the comparing. 'Tis something we grandmas (or women in general) should never do. We are what we are...which is AWESOME (which relates to Ann's yam statements!).
Connie: Sounds like you and I are rowing a similar boat.
You are human Lisa, entitled to feel jealous at some point, we all do. Buddy & Mac are so fortunate to have 2 sets of loving grandparents who can give them different experiences. They will grow up well rounded young men who have been given so many opportunities by you & Jim and Megan's in-laws.
I'm jealous, jealous of the fact that Buddy & Mac have 2 sets of wonderful loving grandparents. Lucy only has Norman and I to give her different experiences and opportunities that will make her a well rounded loving person.
Those picture are wonderful! I want to go to Disneyland!
Funny you should ask the jealousy question. I was recently jealous of my grandson's brand new grandparents. Yes, he has a whole other set now that his Daddy has remarried, and they adore him and they live close to him and do wonderful things for and with him (run on sentences are usually not my thing, LOL). So I'm jealous. Yes, they are step-grandparents, but they're acting like the real thing for sure. Yep, I'm jealous. They are nice folks, though. Bah humbug.
I have exactly the same jealousy. Travis' dad and step-mom are already talking about taking the girls to Disney next summer. I wish we could afford to do those kinds of things. But, even if we could afford it, Disney is not on my to-do list. Been there, done that with my own kids and have no desire to go back.