Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work she'll go
Tuesday, July 17, 2012 
My daughter Megan, mother to my grandsons, is going back to work. She was and is an early childhood educator. After taking one year off of work to try her hand at being a stay-at-home mother to Bubby and Mac, she's decided to go back to work. Full time.
I'm not thrilled.
But I support her.
One hundred percent.
Megan needs to work. Not because her household needs the money, but because Megan needs to do and be what she is. And what she is is the very most awesome teacher of young ones. A very most awesome teacher who, in order to be the very most awesome of mothers, too, needs to do what she—without a doubt—has been called to do.
This wasn't an easy decision for Megan. She wanted desperately to be the kind of mom who stays at home with her sons, who does crafts and activities and outings with them. And is content with that. She tried her hardest—her busy calendar and plethora of Pinterest projects around the house and put into use for parties in the past year prove it.
But she wasn't content. And that's understandable. Squishing yourself into a box in which others want you to fit makes for a most uncomfortable position. And a most unhappy mommy.
By going back to work as a teacher, Megan will be a better mommy. A content mommy. As her mother, I want Megan to be content. A content mommy, a content teacher. Thankfully Preston agrees, supports her return to work and the extra work that might make for him, too.
So why am I not thrilled?
Well, I must be honest: It's because I want my grandsons to be with their mother. At least most of the time. Most of Megan's time come August 1, though, will be dedicated to full-time teacher mode, as no part-time first-grade teaching opportunities currently exist in her town.
A part-time teaching position would be best for all concerned, Megan and I both agree. But this full-time opportunity, despite the challenges that will accompany it, will be far better for her, her kids, her household than the full-time mommy gig she worked—and really did often enjoy, I must add—this past year.
The full-time mommy gig is hard. It can be frustrating, endless, monotonous, thankless. Most importantly, it's not for everyone. I'm glad Megan realizes that, accepts that instead of trying to be someone she's not. (As well as someone who's not putting to use that expensive private-school education many of us are still paying on, if you'd like to know another brutal truth.)
Yes, part-time work might provide a little more balance in Megan's wants and needs, but a full-time position as a first-grade teacher is what she has to work with. And she will indeed make it work—while making sure things work for my grandsons, too.
Bubby managed to survive and thrive with Mommy working part-time during his first couple of years. This won't be all that different for Mac, as his hours beyond those Megan worked as a part-timer with Bubby will be spent napping at a well-researched and thoroughly vetted daycare center. As long as the bed's comfy and cool, Mac likely won't give a hoot if it's Mommy or daycare personnel twiddling their thumbs in the next room while he sleeps the entire afternoon, as he's wont to do. I have no doubt Mac will survive and thrive, too. Probably even better than he might have if Mommy didn't work, thanks to the social interaction he'll get with kiddos his own age at the daycare center.
And Bubby? Well, Bubby will be delighted to see Mommy off and on throughout the day as he will attend preschool at the very same school where his Mommy's working. When Megan gave him the news she was returning to teaching, a big ol' smile spread across Bubby's face, she reported, as he expressed genuine pleasure at hearing Mommy's good news.
Bubby's reaction to the news of Megan returning to her true calling is admirable. And it's how all of her family, friends, fans should be responding—by being genuinely supportive. A mommy's got to do what a mommy's got to do. And what Megan Mommy's got to do is get into the classroom and be awesome with other kids. So she can be awesome at home with her own kids, my grandkids.
What more could a mother want for her daughter?
What more could a grandma want for her grandsons?
Congratulations, Megan! I applaud you. I support you. One hundred percent.
Today's question:
Removing the child factor and what you did/do as a working or stay-at-home mom, would you rather work outside the home full time, part time, or not at all?
Reader Comments (17)
Putting aside the grand/child/care giving factor...I'm doing exactly what I'm meant to do and where I'm meant to be for right now. I love it despite 16 hour workdays and challenges encountered balancing a business/family/friends. Obviously, I work for myself and I much prefer that over working for others...tho' the 'boss' can be a real taskmaster:)
I hope that the remainder of Megan's friends and family will be as supportive as you are with her decision. I've been surprised by the 'Mommy Wars' that still seem to rage between 'working' Moms and Moms who work at home...'paid' or not. I thought by now the 'Mommy Wars' would be over!
In my opinion, the absolute best Mommy is a happy Mommy...and others don't get to define how that happiness is realized ....whether stay at home or work. I just hope that Mommies who want to stay at home are financially able to do so and I'm pleased that Mommies who want/need to work have the option to do so.
I was a stay-at-home mom and wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Then when my daughter started college I worked part-time for a while, and now full-time again for the past six years. If I had a choice, I'd work part-time. At heart I'm a homemaker first, and that's hard to do well working full-time. My daughter works part-time with two little ones and finds it more than enough. Every situation is different though.
I realized, years ago and preparing home loans for young couples, almost NO home loan was going to be approved with only one salary for income. I'm glad Megan wants to work for reasons other than the income, though she'll find that it becomes a help. I applaud her.
Go Megan Go!!! And how wonderful that she is going to teach where Bubby learns!
While I haven't always gotten to do what I want -- what I really enjoy is working from/at home. I wanted to be a full time stay at home Mom -- that didn't happen. Jenna is a full time stay at home Mom -- it is what she wants to be and I support her fully, too. She is lucky enough to be in a situation where she doesn't have to work -- I wasn't that lucky when she was growing up so I think it makes me support her even more.
Good Luck Megan!
I was in the Air Force when my first son was born, and I went back to work right away. I was so young I really can't remember my druthers back then. However, when my second son was born, nine years later, I got out of the Air Force and became a stay at home Mom. Well, until he was about six months old, and I was going stir-crazy. That's when I decided to go to college. Going full time to college was like working part-time outside the home, and it worked perfectly for us. I had to have something more than bringing up baby to occupy my restless mind.
I was SO surprised when Megan told me she was staying home with the boys. Not because I doubted her desire to be with them, but because she is such an exceptional teacher. I don't do well balancing being a stay at home mom with other work, even part time. Megan will have no problems with that. I have seen great kids come out of all kinds of homes, it takes great parenting, not any other type of peramiters. Megan and Preston are clearly providing great parenting.
Megan should be proud to have you as a mom -- one that is so kind and supportive. When I had #1, my mom and I worked it out so that I could return to teach part time. My teaching partner and I "happen" to have our first 2 days apart! So we shared a contract. The weeks that I worked, mom would work from home so she could take care of #1. Then 2 years later #2 came along and she did the same thing and I did the same thing.... but after a year, it became so much harder for us to juggle working part time. I missed my "babies," so I decided I needed to be home... FULL time and be a mom and nothing else! I loved teaching, but I wanted the opportunity to teach my children. So I left my teaching career... and then had #3. I do not regret the decision. I miss my colleagues and visit them every now and then. But I am home to take the children to school, volunteer in their schools/classrooms, I am able to drive them to lessons, practices, etc. It's a LOT of work... but I am cherishing this short time I have with them before they become too independent and do not want me to walk them to school and kiss then goodbye.
Lisa, you are a great mom and grandma. :) Good luck to Megan as the school year rolls around... so soon! :0
It sounds Lisa that this is the best thing for Megan to be doing at this particular point in her life. It is so important for her to be able to do something for herself and in the end as you so rightly say a better mother to her beautiful boys. She is fortunate to have you & Preston supporting her in her decision.
I worked when my children started kindergarten and enjoyed the time away from them. It made me a better person and gave me interest outside of the house.
At the moment, my life is so extremely busy looking after Norman after his operation, doing all the chores around the house, running Lucy to school and taking care of her I really couldn't work outside of the house. Promoting my book is also taking up a huge chunk of my day I enjoy it so much because it’s all mine and I'm not answerable to anyone.
I would work part time always if possible. Or be a volunteer, or student or something. I need that outlet to feel like I am accomplishing something. But I also like being home; home making and I always have a long list of projects to do. 4 of the 5 young women in my family work out of neccessity. They have been able to schedule along with dad so that most of the time one of them is with their children during the day. I fill in the other times as I see it as my role in our family. I do have 1 grandchild in daycare full time as there is too much of a distance driving to my house for them. Have I mentioned my daughter is also an early education teacher and her oldest was in her class last year? Too fun. Megan and the boys will be just fine.
Hurray for Megan! A teacher who loves what she does is a gift to everyone.
I worked full time when I had kids at home. There were times when I cried because I had to leave my kids and go to work. But, mostly, working kept me sane. I don't think I would have been good at staying home full time no matter how much I wanted to. My kids would have made me crazy. I just wouldn't have gotten everything I needed from being at home and neither would my kids.
I was lucky, so very lucky in that I had a career (and a somewhat sympathetic boss) that offered me some flexibility. I gave up my full time position in 1992 after the birth of my 2nd child to take on a per diem position which essentially was part time but my schedule. I could schedule myself to work as much or as little as I want.
I LOVE my kids but I was and am like your daughter. The way I saw it and see it for her is the career path we chose (nursing/teaching) is truly a calling, a vocation. We truly are called and compelled to do this...and, for me, it made me a better wife and mommy and now, Mima. I was fortunate to have good childcare when needed, a husband who regarded his time with the kids as parenting and NOT babysitting and a flexible schedule.
I am still a per diem NICU RN to meet the needs of my family's busy schedules even if three of the five are grown as well as to enjoy the responsibility of providing child care for my two grandbabies so that their mommy can also pursue her passion and earn $$ to support her growing family.
Good for Megan! I know it is a hard decision to go back to work full time, but I'm sure she wanted to use the skills she studied so hard to acquire. I'm sure that Bubby and mac will do well if she has a good day care picked out for them. Teachers hours are shorter than other full time worker and they have lots more time off, so it usually works out to be the best job to have as a working Mom. I know teachers put in a LOT of behind the scene time --my DIL was a kindergarten teacher, but she was able to be home during those hours or take my grandson to school with her when she worked at decorating her classroom, etc.
I loved working part time while I was an active nurse. That way i could devote more time to my family while keeping my skills. It was the best of both worlds!
I think you probably know my feelings on these things: What's right for one mom isn't necessarily the same as what's right for another. And I can TOTALLY sympathize with Megan needing to work outside the home. I made the decision to go back to work when my second kid was about 8 months old, because I was just going crazy having my life revolve solely around them. Yes, I'm a mom, but I'm also a whole bunch of other things that I felt weren't getting the sunlight they needed. I applaud those women who can feel whole as stay-at-home mothers. I'm just not one of them.
I am working part-time as a preschool teacher right now, but would love to get back in the classroom full time! I taught second and third grade for 13 years before I had my children. Now that it's time for me to look for a job again, there are no teaching jobs available in my area. School budgets are very, very tight. I'll just have to cross my fingers that the right job will come up when I start applying!
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!
Stopping by from SITS, love the positive & encouraging tone in this post! It sounds like you are so supportive of your children's dreams: what could be better than that? Have a great weekend!
I was a full-time homemaker for 20+ years. When my kids got older, I went back to work part-time for 2 years and then full-time for 2 years. I enjoyed working but I missed being home. Then the first grandchild was born and I realized I needed to be home. So I quit and have been back home full-time for 3 years. I wouldn't mind possibly working part-time but definitely not full-time. My family needs me to be home.
This was a beautiful post. I appreciate your honesty. As a mom and as a professional female I can recognize that you want the best for everyone involved and even though you worry for your daughter I greatly appreciate the support you are showing her! It's hard to make this choice, doing what you love, choosing between staying home and working and doubting your decisions based on other people's views.
Thanks for sharing this with us!
Stopping by from SITS ;) and so glad I did!