Love and marriage: 30 years, 30 reasons
Tuesday, June 19, 2012 
When Jim and I got married, we were oh-so young, with nearly all odds against us.
That was 30 years ago today.
In honor of our thirtieth wedding anniversary, here are 30 reasons why I think our marriage has lasted—despite the odds, statistics, and predictions:
1. We still celebrate our first-kiss anniversary.
2. When one of us says, "Isn't that the one guy from not that one show but the other one, you know, with that woman we don't like who was in that scary movie, but he's put on a lot of weight since the movie where he was a jerk?", the other one totally gets it...and answers with the actor's name.
3-5. Brianna, Megan, Andrea.
6. We love each other's moms as much as we love our own.
7. I'm willing to go to a Randy Travis concert with him; he's willing to go see Chris Cornell with me.
8. We agree that Flight of the Conchords is funny as <cuss>.
9. And that Saturday Night Live isn't anymore.
10-11. Bubby and Mac.
12. We don't share a bathroom. Or use the bathroom at the same time when we have no choice but to share (like when vacationing).
13. We don't share bank accounts or credit cards either.
14. We do, though, share a mortgage—and the agreement that despite our mortgage doubling when we bought our current house, soon followed by both of us losing our jobs and economic <cuss> reigning ever since, we love our home and it's totally worth it.
15. We agree that if stranded on a desert island with only one album, we'd want it to be Pearl Jam's Ten.
16. We have a spare room available for when insomnia, snoring or restless legs get to be too much for the sleepy non-snorer.
17. In the heat of rage-filled moments, we don't call each other nasty names that can't be taken back. (At least not out loud.)
18. We agree that if when we win the lottery, our moms come first when doling out the dough and that gifts of even amounts will be given to all our siblings, despite a couple of them deserving nothing.
19. I cook, he cleans up after. (Okay...I usually help, just to keep him company).
20. We both clean up after entertaining—and agree that it must be done immediately upon guests leaving, not in the morning, no matter how late the entertaining may have ended or how tired we may be.
21. When one of us screws up our finances—because, despite separate accounts, we are indeed joint—neither one lays blame. (At least not out loud.)
22. We agree a house is not a home without pets. And that those pets shall never again be birds or fish or more than two dogs and two cats at one time.
23. He patiently waits until I compose myself when I get verklempt and can't talk, whether it's when discussing a terminal family member or an unexpectedly delightful package delivery.
24. A few hours into the stonewalling after a disagreement, one of us will apologize—even if we know <cuss> well we're not at fault—just so we'll be friends again.
25. That third strand in our marriage cord stayed strong and kept us together when the other two strands, at various times, frayed, gave up or broke completely.
26. We agree that it's sometimes okay to hit the sack before the news. Or to stay up late on a weeknight because we must see what happens next on a series we're streaming through Netflix.
27. We agree that the majority of Christmas gifts should be opened on Christmas morning, not Christmas Eve.
28. We have similar stranger-than-fiction-and-Jerry-Springer families and histories few others would understand...or believe.
29. We take pride in owning—and aren't willing to pass to others—the title of Longest Married Couple In Our Families (even longer than our older siblings and our parents).
30. We grew up together. Like two intertwined saplings that grow together into big, strong—though entangled—trees, if you try to separate them, one or both will surely die. Or so I've convinced him.
Happy anniversary, Jim. Here's to 30 more years and 30 more reasons!
Today's fill-in-the-blank:
The key to a successful relationship is _________.
Reader Comments (25)
Happy, Happy Anniversary!! Great list - especially #17 - and agree/live most of it - except for your music and movie choices. Obviously, why you and Jim were made for each other. Sincere best wishes for the next 30 and the wonderful new adventures headed your way. .
We just celebrated 31 years & our secret is that we still laugh together in the midst of a downpour. Plus, divorces are so dang expensive & I couldn't handle life in jail for Murder 1. First Kiss Anniversary: June 5, 1977 :)
Congrats and happy anniversary to you both! My husband and I met in high school and have been married 32 years. He's always been my best friend and advocate and I wouldn't trade him for the world. To fill in your blank, I believe friendship is the key to a lasting marriage. Not that love and passion don't count ... but we know of too many couples who were passionate from the start -- and all over each other in public -- but didn't realize they didn't truly LIKE each other until it was too late.
Happy Happy Anniversary Lisa and Jim! Awesomeness! I loved your number 2 item. Joan and I are like that, too. It's weird but somehow it works.
HUGS,
Terri
Happy Anniversary, you two love birds! (And I think #'s 12, 13 & 16 make all the others so much better.) And, oh yes, the appreciation for 3, 4, & 5? Awesome. <3
May you have at least 30 more years together!
Best,
Emma Ann
Congratulations! Thirty years together is indeed a wonderful. Dance on the table tops until dawn in celebration!
Well, this got me all verklempt (seriously). Excuse me while I compose myself.
Ahem.
Okay...what a wonderful tribute to your hubby and your marriage. I can especially relate to 12, 17, 22 (even down to the number of pets) and 24.
I think it's important to know and trust that the other person always has your back. You may disagree. You may go through some really dark times. But at the end of the day, you know that your partner is going to be there to back you up.
Also, being able to laugh at things is huge. And really, you can't underestimate the importance of not peeing in front of each other. Really.
Happy Anniversary!
Wishing you a very happy anniversary and at least 30 more.
Happy 30th Anniversary + one day! I loved each and every one of your 30 reasons as to why you and Jim have a happy union, Lisa!
You are such a wonderfully descriptive writer, that I found myself wishing I could "High Five" you on so many of your points, and wondered how you knew how I felt the same about my husband!?
t will be 38 married years for us this October, and every day I thank God for bringing us together and allowing us to share our lives with each other. We are indeed blessed.
Happy Anniversary Lisa and Jim....you guys are awesome!
My hubby and I recently celebrated our 33rd anniversary. Keys to a successful marriage is communication and respect for each other....and quite a few of your reasons above....I loved them!
Happy Anniversary to both of you! What an awesome accomplishment!
Happy Anniversary !
I love the mushy stuff but I gotta say this was my favorite because it cracked me up
2. When one of us says, "Isn't that the one guy from not that one show but the other one, you know, with that woman we don't like who was in that scary movie, but he's put on a lot of weight since the movie where he was a jerk?", the other one totally gets it...and answers with the actor's name.
I loved ALL your reasons and think my best advice would be to "Follow Jim and Lisa's Examples" if someone needed a list to follow.
I loved your wedding and have thanked God many times that you two have each other.
I wish God had let me have my Jerry for longer once He gave him to me; these last eighteen years have been so much less than life was while he was with me. I knew who I was as his wife; his widow is a role I still don't like nor do I know who I really am without him.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY loved ones! May you have at least thirty more!
Sincere congratulations! 30 years is a huge accomplishment and you should be very proud -- in addition to being happy.
Congratulations to you both.I agreed with so many of your points, I would just love separate bathrooms but do have the spare bedroom for the snoring thing. We have been married for 34yrs and beeen together since we were seventeen,he is called Jim too annd is also my best friend. It changes when the children have left home I think you have more time for each other.We have different hobbies but you do need that time on your own too. Have a lovely celebration, x
Happy Anniversary!! Loved this list and can relate to much of it. We celebrated 33 years in January and I would say the key to a successful relationship is communication and honesty. Mind reading helps but isn't always reliable!
Happy Anniversary! 30 years!, How wonderful! You guys are so cute together!
Love your 30 reasons and I know there are many more reasons why you are still together!
May God continue to bless your marriage! To me, the key is respect for each other.
Thank you, everyone! I sincerely appreciate the kind and heart-warming wishes for our continued wedded bliss. :-)
Beautiful, beautiful post. You have made my day with your lovely thoughts. Kids and grandkids are so lucky when they get to live in a family with long stable marriages. Your family sounds blessed.
Happy anniversary and congrats on 30 years! We have 7 more to go!
The key to a successful marriage is LAUGHING. My husband is the funniest person I know. Congratulations to 30 years......unheard of today. I can't believe you two kids were married right after high school. What a wonderful example you have given your children. My hat is off to you:)
I don't know the secret Lisa - I was carefully reading all of yours! Thanks for sharing, you have such a beautiful family!
What a fabulous post this is!! Love it!! Congratulations to you both!!!
Sending hugs, my friend ~
The key to a successful relationship is - laughter.
Congratulations and happy anniversary. Sounds like you guys have a great marriage. Ours is similar to yours in many ways. We have always kept our money separate even though all our accounts are joint. And, yes, he's had to bail me out many times when I spent too much. We do differ on the lottery win though. We would have to figure out a way to keep his sisters from finding out that we won. They'd be asking for money so fast it would make your head spin.
It will be 37 years for us in November of this year. I think key to a successful relationship is a very long list. Who am I kidding? I have no idea what the key is. You just have to figure out what works for you both and stick to it.
Happy Anniversary dear Lisa & Jim, may the next 30 years bring you happiness and joy.
I'm not use what the key is to a successful marriage. What I'm going through at the moment with Norman, though I wouldn't wish the operation he has had on anyone, has be useful in restoring our love for each other that perhaps over the years has somehow got lost, not saying that we didn't love each, it had taken a different turn. I will now appreciate him much more as I hope that he will me.
Perhaps the key is not taking the over person for granted.
Such a great post Lisa! I'm so happy for you both! I hope you day was great, as I am sure it was.