No filter necessary
Friday, February 17, 2012 
While I admit the truth hurts in many a case, unfiltered truths coming from the mouth of a three-and-a-half-year-old do no harm at all. Especially when the pint-sized truth-bearer is Bubby.
Bubby has a lot of toys. More toys than many a kid needs or could possibly ever play with. So when choosing a small gift to send my grandsons for Valentine's Day, I settled on some dinnerware from the Target dollar bin that sported robots on the plates, bowls, and eating utensils for Bubby. I packed them into a gift bag decorated with a robot, and added a box of chocolate/peanut butter candies and a lollipop decorated with a scene from The Adventures of Tin Tin.
I thought it was a pretty darn good gift, considering that Bubby and I—at his urging—did a lot of conversing in robot talk when we were last together, that chocolate and peanut butter are the only food groups he willingly consumes, and that he joyfully expressed his love for the Tin Tin movie when he and I saw it together.
I got a call Valentine's Day evening. Bubby's sweet little voice on the other end immediately announced, "Happy Valentimes Day, Gramma. Thank you for the package."
"Oh, you're welcome, sweetie!" I said. "How did you like it?"
"I really needed a toy," Bubby replied in a serious tone.
"Yeah, but you have lots of toys," I told him. "Now you can think of Gramma every time you eat on your robot dishes."
"Oh," he said, still quite serious. "I really needed a toy."
At that point, Megan took over the phone. "Ah, the truthfulness of a three-year-old," she said.
If it were anyone else responding to my gift in such a way, I might be offended. Not at all with Bubby, though. He probably really did feel like he needed a new toy and Gramma's lack of compliance clearly disappointed. Nothing wrong with him telling it like it is.
Bubby's response to the gift didn't surprise me a bit as he usually does tell it like it is. And sometimes his lack of a filter is just so darn sweet that he's forgiven for those times when it's not.
The purpose of my recent trip to the desert was for me to stay with my grandsons while Megan and Preston attended an out-of-state conference related to Preston's job. Late into the third day of babysitting duty, I sat in the rocker feeding Baby Mac when Bubby, who had been in the nearby playroom, sidled up to the side of the rocker, leaned his head on my arm and said in the most woebegone of voices, "I have a picture of Mommy and Daddy. I just wish it was real. I miss them double."
Oh, sweet sorrow unfiltered.
Bubby's expressions of love and joy are equally unfiltered. Later that same day, Bubby was tickling Baby Mac, causing them both to giggle up a storm. Bubby finished up the tickle session, nonchalantly walked away from his baby brother, and turned to tell me, "I love him bad. And he loves me bad."
When I later relayed both Bubbyisms to Megan, she responded with, "Awww...my little love bunny."
And a love bunny he certainly is. An unfiltered love bunny, that is, for better or worse.
I'm crossing my fingers Bubby remains unfiltered for many more years to come, for I wouldn't want my grandson any other way—even if it means hearing the truth about gifts from Gramma that weren't exactly what the little love bunny had hoped for. Or needed.
Today's question:
Which of your relationships would most benefit from a better filter—on statements made by you or to you?
Reader Comments (8)
Too darn funny! Yes, it's amazing how we just laugh and love what our Grandkids say when the same words said by others may hurt our feelings. I'm still laughing over my apparent lack of dance skills this past week when I was honestly giving it my best with my Granddaughter.
I always try to use the 'golden rule'' filter with all. There's no justification for purposely hurting the feelings of others. However, I find as I get older that I speak my feelings vs. holding them in. This tendency most often comes out when I perceive an injustice toward others.
Maybe the 'I'm too old for this b.s.' adage has finally come to fruition? Perhaps not the wisest course and not always PC, but such a feeling of freedom. Love me or leave me, this is who I am and what I believe... (and hopefully, tactful!)
"I'm crossing my fingers Bubby remains unfiltered for many more years to come"
Be careful what you wish for, my dear, because you might just get it. Blunt but cute from a toddler turns into sass from a grade schooler and downright rude from a teenage boy.
One day you may wish there was a filter with a shut off valve. Or at least his mother will :0)
Awww...Lisa, what a great post. I have the same situation TIMES TWO with my 4 year old twins. What a great stage to watch and be a part of. <3
Bubba's expressions are dear and I love them. I think kids are so honest at that age. Now my grandson is 10 almost 11 - and his are not so cute all the time -but he is learning.
Filters are important things - and I think others need to filter more to me - teehee
sandie
With seven adult children, my "filtering" comes in when talking to certain ones and remembering that this or that one doesn't really want to hear a lot about some one of the others because they are not "best friends" at all; hopefully, Bubby and Baby Mac will remain Best Friends all their lives.
My hardest job today has been trying to talk to a dearly beloved mother-in-law who is basically dying from Alzheimer's; what to say, does she even hear me, does she even know who it is that she's hearing...if she does hear? This is the really awful "filtering" we find ourselves trying to figure out at sad times of our lives.
Long live out-spoken little un-filtered children; their too-true statements are easy to take. They've not reached hard-to-filter stages, wish to God they will be strong when they do.
Three year olds can say the cutest things!
I feel that sometimes I need a filter when I talk to my daughter. I want to say things to her about how she does her housekeeping and how to raise her daughter/my granddaughter. I just need to either keep it to myself or think before I blurt things out!
I love this post! You can just tell where the coaching ended and the truthing began. And you can imagine being a three-year-old and opening a package that you think might contain a toy and finding dishes. It is a dilemma for grandparents, though, because we do tend to think that our grandchildren have too many toys. As for needing a filter, I and all the members of my family do a fair job of using our filters. Once in a while something hurtful slips through, but not too often.
Great post - I do love when they say something in a unique way with such searing truth that it takes my breath away! (Even if they don't always say what I want to hear!)