5 things my husband has never done (plus 5 I've never done either)
Tuesday, October 30, 2012 
Yesterday morning as I chopped my apple to place in my instant oatmeal before nuking it (good stuff; you should try it), I thought about all the apples Megan had at her house while I was there last week. She has a lot. All different kinds, too, from galas—my fave—to honeycrisp and yellow ones of some sort and more.
"Preston won't stop buying them," she told me, followed by a wish he'd buy fruit that's a little easier for Bubby and Mac—especially Mac— to eat rather than crisp and crunchy apples. (That require coring and slicing and, in Mac's case, peeling and dicing, too.)
As I cut my apple yesterday morning, I thought about Preston picking out apples for his family and realized that Jim, my husband, has likely never, ever bought an apple. Not for his family, not for himself. I buy the apples. All the apples...which are usually gala because those are what I like. Even when the girls lived at home, I was the family apple buyer.
Considering my apple for yesterday's breakfast and all the apples I've bought in the past while Jim has never bought a single one, I thought of some other things that Jim has never done in our 30+ years together. Things he's never done because I did them. For example:
Five things my husband has never done (because I did/do)
1. Not only has Jim never bought apples, he's never done the weekly shopping for our household.
2. He's never wrapped all the Christmas gifts. Or birthday gifts.
3. He's never played Tooth Fairy.
4. He's never done the back-to-school shopping. Or any clothes shopping with and for our daughters. (A special hell all its own, one you may know if you've had teen daughters.)
5. He's never cooked breakfast for the family.
Seeing how it's the political season, though, and I don't want to seem as mud-slinging as those running for office, in the interest of providing fair and balanced coverage here on Grandma's Briefs, I offer this:
Five things I have never done (because my husband did/does)
1. I've never changed a tire. Ever. Embarrassing but true.
2. I've never climbed an extension ladder and hung holiday lights on the outside of our house.
3. I've never worked three jobs at one time to keep our family afloat.
4. I've never wired a light fixture, a ceiling fan, an outlet that needed repair.
5. I've never changed a catheter bag. He did—mine, twenty or so years ago during an especially scary time. (Probably more scary for him than me, to be honest.)
Now is the place in my post that I should be wrapping it all up with a point. That point, though, has morphed, the more I wrote, the more I considered my lists.
I originally planned to point out what a helpful son-in-law I have, for Preston not only buys apples and has even done the weekly shopping, he changes poopy diapers and bathes my grandsons pert-near as often as does my daughter. While that's cool and admirable and something I appreciate, it's no longer my point.
My point now is this: Who needs a husband to buy freakin' apples when they're willing to change your pee bag?
Not me.
photo: stock.xchng
Today's question:
What is your favorite kind of apple? (Bet that's not the question you expected, is it?)
Reader Comments (22)
What a story and good point! :)
Delicious!
I'll confess I've never, not even once mowed the grass, and I don't intend to. Ever. I did change HIS pee bag about 20 years ago, so that should count for something...;)
I love your point you discovered as wrote. So true!
My husband has never helped decorate for Christmas. However, he will drive through a snowstorm to get me where I want to be for Christmas.
What a great post! I too am lucky to have an awesome son-in-law and fabulous husband! Admittedly Jenna did it right the first time, it took me a second try but it was worth it!
As for apples -- my favorite kind is the one baked inside a pie! Tried a new and awesome recipe last week using Granny Smiths. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Grampy's favorite apple is the one cut up in an apple fritter! Neither of us gets to eat a lot of our favorite apples!
First of all, my favorite kind of apple is honeycrisp. I love how they are both sweet and crisp. But, they are very expensive in South Texas, so I only buy them occasionally.
I love this post, it made me laugh because I can completely relate. One year when I had surgery right before school started, my husband had to take the kids back-to-school shopping. It was a huge disaster that included an expensive purple suede miniskirt that did not meet dress code restrictions.
I think this post will inspire several new posts from me. I love the idea of 5 things my husband has never done and 5 things I've never done.
Honeycrisp.
Good point. He's a keeper.
Jim is definitely worth keeping! Of course, you are, too.
My favorite apple, for eating fresh, is Red Delicious; for baking, I like Granny Smith or Winesap.
He's a keeper!
Lol! Mine are also Gala, not too sweet and not too tart. Yeah, I think your hubbs is a keeper. Love this post. I love that you told us about your mental journey as you wrote this. :)
I like the Gala, this was a wonderful post. One we all could learn from and one we could all write. It is easy to point out other's short comings but we don't usually balance it with our own. You are a wise woman and one I so enjoy visiting.
QMM
I agree. Be grateful for what you've got. And it sounds like you are.
I have never hung outdoor Christmas lights nor changed a flat tire. I also never once had to back-up our RV into a camping space. I've also only once had to plow our driveway of snow, and that was after he'd had surgery. Neither have I had to chop, split and stack 4 cords of oak for winter.
My husband has never cleaned a toilet and he only rarely ever dusts. He's never cooked a Thanksgiving dinner or put away the Christmas ornaments. And he never took our children back-to-school clothes shopping.
Upon reflection, I think I'm happy with the division of labor.
Jazz apples. crisp and sweet. I think they are new, and they are available most of the year. I buy honeycrisps when they're available (like right now) and I also love an occasional caramel apple made, of course, with a Granny Smith.
Macs...all the way. But for baking I like Granny Smith and Pink Lady. Don't like the ones with the "pointy bottoms," like Delicious. Way too soft for me. Now if I started running a tally on the things I do, and the things my husband does, the lists would overlap--I've got a really great husband. BUT, he's far from perfect...and so am I, so I guess I can't complain.
Great post - made us all think about the positives in life. As for apples, well once I moved back to New England I became acquainted with Macoun. That is without a doubt my favorite best apple ever. You can't get them at the store, but you can find a local farmer who is more than willing to sell you some. Try them if you ever see them at a farmer's market.
I enjoyed this post so much. Sometimes when we really take stock, we sure are glad to have what we have. The grass isn't always greener, and we can't all buy the apples...
Absolutely not the question Lisa.
Not that found of apples, however if push comes to shove I would prefer to eat a Braeburn.
Love your blog today and I laughed out loud after I read your question!
I love Gala and Honeycrisp apples.
It's good to take a moment to see what our husbands actually DO for us instead of bemoaning the things they don't do. Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
Wow, this was a very good post. When you stop to think about it, there are many things you can add to your list, as well as that of your partner's list. It kinda makes you appreciate them more, doesn't it?
I like Gala apples, by the way. hehe
My husband had to help his Mom out all the time with chores when he was a child as she very often did not feel well. Because of this I benefited as he can do almost anything I can, and he does so willingly! I, on the other hand, have never changed a tire, or even pumped my own gas! I think there are way more things I don't do than my husband but it all works out in the end :)
Thanks for checking in on me--we were incredibly lucky to escape the hurricane with little damage. It was a terrifying experience!
I could make two lists similar to yours--his and hers. I agree, it's ok to divide up the responsibilities. Every couple works together differently. My favorite apple is a jonathon.
The next time I think, "why can't he just throw some bibs in the wash with his stuff?!" I'm going to remind myself that I have never climbed up into the "attic" to store baby clothes or done any other "manly" job around the house. Thanks for the reminder.