5 things I used to be...and one I still am
Because of various opportunities presented to me in the past few weeks, I find myself again and again promoting the notion that I'm qualified for this or that because of things I used to do, things I used to be. More and more I feel like I'm singing an off-key version of Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days, trying to convince the world I once was great...back in the day.
Despite no longer being things I tout, I keep telling myself it's okay to utilize them when appropriate, that the sum of my parts, my past, make me who I am today.
The one I've been utilizing of late is that I used to be the special sections editor at the newspaper. Although a writer long before that, it's the "editor" title that seems to make people take notice. Little do most realize that the "editor" title was just that: a title. No powerful abilities, no magical results. Except, of course, when it comes to impressing folks who might open a door for a writer. So for that thing I used to be, I am truly thankful (but mostly thankful it's no longer something I'm required to be).
There are plenty of others things I used to be.
I used to be shy. Achingly shy. Turn-my-stomach-into-knots-and-render-my-voice-mute-in-the-face-of-strangers-and-authority shy. Until I had children to protect and support in the face of teachers, doctors, coaches, bad boyfriends and more. Being crowned editor helped, too, as with that title came the obligation to speak up and protect my people and publications, my writers and our writings in the face of the newspaper and advertising gods that be...or were.
I used to be one to work with numbers, not words. I worked for mortgage companies, for a major auto finance company. I learned to hate numbers. But I also learned to pay attention to them—and to be a formidable force when it comes to securing a mortgage, even tougher when buying a car.
I used to be a licensed nail tech. Am I now someone with a penchant for perfectly polished fingers and toes? Far from it. But it made me less ashamed of my hands. The hands I used to hide at all awkward costs because of hateful comments made by a sister. Not because my hands became beautifully manicured, but because it's impossible to work on someone else's while hiding your own. So I stopped hiding them. And stopped worrying about things my sister said. And stopped thinking such things mattered at all.
I used to be a Girl Scout Leader. Did it leave me craftier and wiser than the average mama bear? No. But it did give me three life principles I regularly fall back on: 1) Make new friends, but keep the old; 2) Be prepared; and 3) Right over left, left over right, makes a knot neat and tidy and tight.
As the post title says, those are five things I used to be. Five things I am no more.
And the one I still am? Simple: I am a mother and wife, the one thing I've been longer than any other thing.
But that's two, you say? No. Having been pregnant when Jim and I married, the mom-and-wife things go hand-in hand, are one. And it's that one that I've been for the majority of my life and above all else. Fortunately that one thing expanded to become many. The mother of babies, then toddlers, adolescents and teens became a mother of adults. All very different things, but very much the same. The mother of adults become a mother-in-law. Then, of course, that mother expanded (as did her heart) when she became a grandmother...partner to a grandfather. Still a mother and wife.
All the things I once was made a difference, but it's the one I still am that truly defines me, that matters the most. The one that always will matter most. The one I always will be.
Photo: That's my peeps. That's what matters.
Today's question:
What did you used to be? What will you always be?
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Reader Comments (16)
Hum lets see… I have been a cosmetologist, clean room tech, cashier, waitress, postal worker, surgical vet tech, cna, and now nurse. Never shy but always did and still do danced to my own tune not caring what others thought or think. Like you Lisa, I am a mother, wife, grandmother, and add the pediatric nurse a surrogate mom and gram in oh so many ways. I have laughed a lot, cried a lot, at certain times stepped outside and screamed at the top of my lungs in frustration. I would not trade one moment of my life for anything because I also love a lot and in return am loved, and that is what paints the good, bad, and ugly of life into a beautiful picture.
Well this does cover a lot of years! What did I used to be? A huge part of my life has revolved around restaurants. First job ever (besides babysitting) was at the golf course coffee shop. This led to many years of working in and managing restuarants. What do I never want to do again -- work in a restaurant! Along the way I also worked as a semi-geek doing database and software support for years and loved it. Lately I just temp -- and not often enough!
I will always be Mommy/Momz/Grammy. Gotta say being a Grandma is the best job ever! The other thing I pride myself on being is a good friend. I still have friends from high school who I value dearly. And lots of new ones, too!
"Non sum qualis eram" is the only phrase from high school Latin classes I've used in my long life since that time (I am not what I used to be) and sometimes it makes me very happy, other times, very sad. Being the widow of a very good man is far different from being his wife. Being a non-drinker of alchohol is much better than being a drinker, if you're one of those people who goes blithering apes**t when you drink (which I was), but I will always be a mother of seven, all of whom I love dearly.
Excellent post!
I used to be very shy too. I was an Army brat growing up and went from school to school every year so it was very hard for me to make lasting friends. I've overcome my shyness. I also used to care too much about what other people thought of me...overcame that.
I will always be a worrier!
Great post! Probably the thing that shocks people the most is that I used to work in construction, hanging vinyl siding....off of 3-story buildings. I've done a lot of different jobs in my something years, but that job was probably the most empowering and liberating job I've ever had.
I used to be excrutiatingly shy too, until I started waiting tables in my early 20's. That job really helped me realize that I have to open my mouth and talk to people. Especially if wanted tips!
Good post, Lisa. I used to be an administrative assistant. I've been an office manager, a network administrator, a fund-raiser, and an event planner. I'm glad I'm not any of those things any more.
I used to be extremely timid and have no self confidence. Getting married changed that for some reason. All of a sudden I knew who I was and what I was capable of.
I will always be wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend and neighbor ... all things I love.
My first what I used to be was a field hand on the farm which included picking cotton, cropping tobacco, plowing and planting the crops, and a whole lot of other things to do with farming. I worked as a waitress and at a burger joint. I was a cook in a nursing home. I worked in a bakery. I painted homes for a contractor and billboard signs. I worked at Job service which helped people get a job. I was a cosmetologist. I was a laborer. I was a field office secretary. i was a field office manager. I was a CNA at a nursing home, a HHA in home care. My last job was in a day care. i was a lot of things in the workforce but I was also a lot of things in life to others. i was a friend, confidant, student, teacher, wife, mother and those I've forgotten. The one that gets a tear in my eye is the one where the patients that I cared for told me I was their angel that was taking care of them. I never thought of myself as an angel. As for what I am now, I am a mother, grandmother, and a disabled woman with time on her hands who tries to craft but isn't as good as she used to be. Yet I am still the same person that was born buttocks first weigning 9lbs.14oz. in a bed in a one bedroom house on a farm out in the country in 1951.Times change places change and people change. Sometimes I look in the mirror and ask where did I go and who is looking back at me. Life is never fair and can take away everything we ever thought we were to teach us more about who we are inside. i can be a very compassionate person to others and then I can feel a rage at the people who give in to evil doings and take anothers life. I believe in God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost and that with them all things are possible. I know my cup is half full and I may choose to continually drink from the same cup but it ramains half full. I am what and who I am by the choices I've made in life and if something needs to change I am the only one who can change it for me. I am I.
Wonderful post!
I used to be an Airman in the Air Force. Seems like another life...another time.
I used to be selfish and self-centered.
I used to be a quitter.
I will always be kind.
I will always be a proud Mom and Grandma.
I will always be a loyal friend.
Use to be a receptionist, sales representative, store owner of a lovely gift shop, a tele marketer, wife to a abusive man and then a mother. Now I am married to a wonderful American who I meet online, grandmother to 8 beautiful children ranging in ages from 18 to 7, the 7 year old granddaughter we are raising. Created a blog which has been successful, would like a part time job but because of my age no one will hire me. My biggest achievement to date was being named New Zealand of the Year for Community by North and South Magazine. Not ashamed to talk about the situation I find myself in to anyone that listens, that comes with being wiser, older and more sure of who I am.
Loyal and generous to my husband, my son, my grandchildren and my friends, love them all dearly, without them my life would be empty.
Thank you Lisa for the wonderful topic that you created.
As you've said, we're constantly evolving - as women, mothers, sisters, friends, and of course, grandmothers. Keeps life interesting, doesn't it?
I "used" to be a RN. I worked in surgical intensive care until my hospital closed and I decided to retire
I was also shy and quiet when I was young. I would rather read than do anything else when I was a child, so I was pretty much a loner.
I started working as a nurse's aide while in high school and that helped me feel more confidence. I was happiest being wife and mother and always will be, and then mother-in-law! Being a grandmother is another joy now, but it's hard since I am so far away from my grandsons. I miss them so much!
Your family is lovely, Lisa. All your girls have your pretty smile!
I "used to be" a college textbook editor and proofreader. Never thought of myself as a writer, although I wanted to. I've been in a writing group for several years, which my daughter said might as well be called a "snacking and chatting group" instead, not that there's anything wrong with that! I started my blog for bloggers (grammar and writing tips) in early June, and I feel like all my experience, from junior high newspaper editor, yearbook, scrapbooking fanatic, journalism degree, freelance experience have all come together as I put the words and funny photos together. I'm really enjoying it, and I feel like I'm no longer looking for something to do that's different from my background. I love your site, and we have a lot in common! Found you on Twitter.
I've always been a flutemaker since I was 17 years old. Kind of strange for a vocation like that to last going on for 40 years. I'm a daydreamer longer than that, and constant thinker.
I was as shy as you and had no friends all through high school. I think overcoming shyness is a lifechanging event but there"s always a hint of it lurking under the surface for life. Kind of like we're recovering shy people. 'Hello, my name is John and I'm a shyaholic'. Of course no one in the room responds - they're all too shy! That or no one else showed up for the same reason.
You have a dynamic history, Lisa. Maybe you should write a memoir.
What a beautiful post. I too used to be painfully shy and worked better with numbers than people. I always wanted to be a mom and have done it longer than anything else. Like you, my family gave me courage and made me the person I am today (I hope a better person than I would have been without them).
I love this question. Have to think about it for a while!