Repost: Hearts grow on
In light of the recent arrival of my second grandbaby, Megan's second son, I thought I'd republish this post I wrote nearly a year before Mac was seriously considered. As I watch Megan care for and cuddle her precious Baby Mac (that's him below, cooing), it's clear my advice to her stood firm and that her heart did indeed grow on.
Hearts grow on (originally published August 3, 2009)
After Megan read my post on GRAND magazine, the one featuring a fake cover-model Bubby, we had yet another discussion of how friggin' cute that boy is. Megan had been deeply concerned during her pregnancy that her newborn would be cursed with a freakishly oversized nose since she and Preston have, in her mind, fairly prominant schnozzes. (She's exaggerating; their noses look pretty normal to me.) The many ultrasounds Megan had during the pregnancy -- ultrasounds totally unrelated to the nose worries -- seemed to only confirm her fears. So when Bubby came out marvelously perfect, his perfection became a continual source of amazement for her.
In our most recent discussion, Megan commented on how Baby #2, planned for sometime in the next year or so, has a lot to live up to and better arrive pretty darn wonderful. It goes back to many of our previous discussions regarding her concerns that she just doesn't know how she'll love another child as much as she loves Bubby. How can she, she wonders, when her heart just explodes with the pure love and joy she feels for what has become the love of her life? (Sorry, Preston.)
I remember thinking the same thing when I learned I was pregnant with my second child -- the child who turned out to be Megan. I loved my little Brianna, my #1 baby, with every fiber of my being and I worried I might be neglectful of Baby #2 because he/she could never live up to the incredible little bundle of joy named Brianna. Didn't happen, though. Megan was just as amazing as Brianna, but in, thankfully, very different ways. I loved them both beyond words.
When Baby #3 made her presence known, I was certain it couldn't possibly happen again. That there's no way in my dysfunctional heart, mind and soul, that I really could be the kind of person who would love and adore yet another little one -- especially a little one guaranteed to throw off the balance of the home and life Jim and I had created. We were a family of two babies and two parents, each parent having two hands so we could manage the girls on our own, when necessary. There were four chairs to our little table that perfectly seated all of us. Our trusty Ford Maverick had just enough room in the back for two car seats. How in the world would I equally love Baby #3 when she was discombobulating the domestic scene we'd thus created?
But three is a charm. Unbelievably, I loved Andrea (my little Andie) as much as I did Megan and Brianna. And I still do. All three of my precious babies continue to be lovely and amazing in ways that are so very different from one another, yet very much the same in my heart. I honestly love each one more than anything else in the world. Seems impossible, but it's true.
So, Megan, you won't love Bubby more than the next baby, or the next one ... or even the next one, if you and Preston happen to be that crazy blessed. Like your mom, you'll just get a bigger table and you'll buy a bigger car. All the while, your heart will become bigger and bigger, making it possible to love each one equally, each for very different reasons.
And you'll quickly learn that, despite all the bunk in romance novels and chick flicks, there's more than just one love of your life. Especially when you're a mom.
Today's question:
One of the more valuable bits of advice from my mother was __________.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Reader Comments (6)
So glad you republished this post. I missed it the first time around, and it's so wonderful and true!
My Mom never handed down too much advice, but taught by example instead. From my Mom I learned to be strong, I learned good values, I learned to question the world around me, and most importantly I learned to love. In fact, I'm still learning from my Mom. She's now 80 years old fighting an awful disease yet she counts her blessings every day. I'm so proud to be her daughter.
I could write on and on, but instead I'll just say thank you, Mom...I love you!
I enjoyed that post again too and also the adorable pic of Little Mac!
My mom didn't really give alot of advise to me, but instead she led by example (just like Nonnie Kelly's mom). It must be the generation as my mother is now 76. She was the best mom 6 kids could ever want and need and loved each and everyone of us equally!
What a special post to read. Thanks for sharing it again as I wasn't following your blog when it was first published. I thought my heart would burst with so much love for each of my 4 live children. But I didn't know how much love my heart could hold until the first time I heard someone call me G-Maw. My mother died when I was 19 but I still remember how she told us 'there is never any shame in having patched or threadbare home made clothes, only in having dirty clothes. as cleanliness is next to Godliness. Akways put your best foot forward when going out in public. No matter where you go always present your best side as gossip mongers are always around to spread the word about your behavior and looks." I wish I had gotten the chance to know her as an adult so she could have seen how I raised my kids on the same values and principles as she and my dad did.
Great post and oh so true! That picture of baby mac is soooo adorable!
I remember one of my daughters expressing that same worry--that she could never love #2 as much as #1. Of course, she does, and she loves #3 just as much, too.
My mother's advice was simple: Do the right thing. And this was years before Spike Lee.
So true. I wrote in one of my posts Second Born -- "Pregnant with my second child, I’d worried I wouldn’t love my new baby as much. And then magic happened. I saw my son, and the affection for my daughter didn’t shrink — my heart simply enlarged."