My greatest fears as a grandma
The role of grandma is supposed to be an easy one. Mom and Dad cover all the hard work – changing dirty diapers, teaching table etiquette, instilling a sense of right and wrong – leaving Grandma to do nothing but have fun with the little ones.
That’s how it’s supposed to be, right? But that’s not how it really is. At least not when you’re a grandma with the middle name of “Worrywart.” I worried (and continue to worry) endlessly as a mother, and you can bet your sweet bippy the fretting hasn’t let up just because I’ve moved on to motherhood’s second act.
Here for your amusement – or commiseration – are ...
My nine greatest fears as a grandma:
1. Bubby will love his other grandma more than he loves me.
2. I’ll always be a long-distance grandma, with no opportunity for my loved ones to drop in unexpectedly for dinner, to view my grandson’s sporting events or school programs, or to even be the backup plan when the little one is sick and Mom and Dad can’t wriggle out of work.
3. Something bad will befall Bubby.
4. Something bad will befall Bubby's parents.
5. Bubby will think I’m boring.
6. Bubby will think I’m weird.
7. Bubby will think I’m the greatest thing since LEGOs and garbage trucks and run away from home to live with me.
8. The one and only grandson I have now will always and forever be my one and only grandchild.
9. Bubby will be worn down – lose his vim, vigor, enthusiasm and endless curiosity – by the realities of life as he grows.
Bubby is just two years old at this point; I’m sure my fears and worries will become more concrete, more serious, more scary as he grows. For now, though, these nine are enough to keep me on my toes during the day, keep me awake on certain nights. For now, these nine frazzle me just fine.
Today's question:
How about you? Is “Worrywart” your middle name, too? What's your greatest fear -- as a grandma or otherwise?
Lisa
This post is now featured as a guest post on my bloggy grandma friend Nina's site, Grandma Ideas.
Reader Comments (12)
I'm a complete worrywart. I worry that something in the works right now won't come to fruition. In the next second, I worry that it will. I worry about money. I worry about work. I worry about friends and family. I'm not a grandma, but I worry enough to be one. ;)
Ditto for me on numbers 1 through 5! Can't believe it; that's exactly how I feel! I also worry about money constantly, being unemployed. I worry about Joan, as she had a stroke last year and is still recovering. And I worry about my Dad, as he is not in the best of health. "Worry" is m middle name! It is funny how, though, when I am with my grandson Tono, all my worries float away, at least for a little while. He puts a big smile on my face, and doesn't even realize he has such a power.
Terri
You are obviously such a loving grandmother, I find it impossible that Bubby could love his other grandmother more! (I say this not knowing any of you in real life, but I've just been so impressed by all of your sweet posts about him.)
I am a worrywart, too. It's one of the things I like least about my personality.
I've been a worrywart since before you were born, Lisa, and I'm sorry to have passed on those genes or chromsomes or cells or whatever to you; as to WHAT I worry about? Whatever I know about or think about at any time. Sorry, but that's my job.
Goodness gracious, Lisa -- please don't let all your worries interrupt your happy life! Bubby will love you for who you are, no matter how far away you are. My family was able to visit my maternal grandmother only, once a year for a week and she could not speak English, so it was hard to communicate with her. Even so, I loved her so much and I think about her often. So many little things remind me of her. She loved to garden and canned her harvest, so the smell of dill reminds me of her pickles. She had chickens so every time I eat and egg I think of her and how good the fresh eggs we'd collect when we visited would taste. She would always treat me with a package of chocolate cupcakes and a quarter (a lot of money for child back then) and I still remember feeling so lucky to be loved by her.
It's the little things that count the most and I'm sure you and Bubby will share many happy moments as he grows up. Don't pass your worry on to him!
I've always been a worrywart too......as far back as when I was in the 5th grade and my mother told me that I worry too much and if I don't stop I will go crazy! Even though my two kids are adults now, I constantly worry about them. And I totally agree with you on No. 1 and No. 8!
I' not much of a worrier but this weekend I had a dream that my two year old grandson got away and ran into traffic. A four lane highway to make things worse. In my dream he was just missed by a speeding car but made it safely to the center island. I am his parents were too far away to help him and he was now standing in the middle of four lanes of traffic. I thankfully woke up right as he darted out again into the oncoming traffic. It was a horrible and terrifying feeling even after I was awake.
The next day (we were all at our summer cabin together) his parents invited my husband and I to go 'Toy Hauler" shopping with them. The business was located along a busy four lane highway and with all of the huge toy haulers and travel trailers on the lot it could have been very easy to lose sight of the little ones.
I became a worry-wart in the sense that maybe my dream was a warning. Not that his parents were not doing a great job watching him but I could not get the very bad dream out of my mind. Everything turned out just fine but I did have a good hour of some pretty severe worry-wart" time.
#9 so sad, but it is a reality of life. It's weird but I constantly worry that I won't live long enough to see all my grandchildren born. I love them all so much--my house and heart are constantly full with the comings and goings of the little ones. So much to worry about, but oh so much to enjoy. My mother has 35+ grandchildren and now has over 50+ great grandchildren. Somehow I don't think I'll ever have that many. Couples now a days aren't having as many children.
Oh yes I worry! Biggest worry is that granddaughter Brooklyn wi stop thinking I'm the cat's meow. Right now she thinks I'm funny and fun to be with and I treasure that.
Whenever I hear a sad story about a child--a bad accident, illness, etc.,--I fervently hope my grandbabies make it through life safe and sound. But I do try not to dwell on those fears.
I am so glad that I am not the only one that has a fear of their grandchild loving the other grandma more. I go through this feeling all the time. Mainly because my daughter and Pickle(my granddaughter) lives with her boyfriends parents.
Thank God I found this Blog. I am dying inside right now as the Long Distance Grandma....I needed to find out I'm not alone.