Age of reason(ing)
I've always found it kind of odd when older women say they're one age, then it's found out they're actually older. I've read of this happening with celebrities and non-celebrities, where they've insisted for years that they're this old, then the truth came out upon the woman's death that they're that old, shocking adoring fans or family.
Tsk, tsk, I would think to myself. Is it really that important to pretend you're younger? Is one's vanity so paramount that they resort to lying to themselves and to others -- sometimes for years -- about their age?
Well, after a conversation Jim and I had the other night, I'm rethinking my tsk-tsking.
We were discussing my age -- for reasons related to my desire to join a group that had an age requirement -- when Jim said, "But you're XX, and that's close enough."
No, I clarified to my darling-yet-sometimes-forgetful honey, I'm actually XX, a year older than he thought.
"Lisa," he said slowly, as if addressing a child, "it's 2010. You were born in XXXX. You are going to be XX in June."
I thought about it, used my fingers to count out the years, cocked my head to the side like the dog does when he's perplexed, and let it sink in that he was right. I'm younger than I thought. I'm younger than I'd been telling people.
Wow! How wonderful to regain my youth so easily, so quickly, so much more inexpensively than by slathering on face creams and soaking up industrial-strength-for-resistant-gray hair color!
Hallelujah! I'm young again! Well, at least younger.
It led me to reconsider the women I'd bashed in the past for lying about their age. Maybe they weren't vain beauty queens trying to retain a smidgen of their youth. Maybe they weren't lying. Maybe they very innocently and honestly thought they were a certain age. Then each time they considered it or were questioned about it, that age remained the same ... for years ... possibly even dropped by a year or two or ten (hey, what's 10 years when you're 80, 90 years old?). They weren't cunning, conniving and conceited; they were just like me.
I read once that the mind can retain only a certain amount of information, so less important info is dropped -- forgotten -- in favor of newer, more important information. Maybe that's what the deal is with age: It's just not that important. Unless you're looking to reach legal drinking age, join AARP or fill out your retirement papers, age really doesn't matter. It's one of those bits of information the brain no longer needs.
So instead of internally bashing myself for seemingly becoming one of those women who lie about their age in the name of vanity or -- worse yet -- becoming so old I'm losing my memory and can't remember even the most basic of things, I've decided it's not that at all. It's actually that I've lived so long and I've learned so much that my brain is full. Yep, I've reached maximum brain capacity so the minutiae of my life must be dropped, deleted, purged in order for new and useful tidbits to be retained.
I'm not becoming a forgetful old woman after all. Nope, I'm young enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, I like myself!
(Now, if I start forgetting how old my children are, that's when I need to start worrying!)
Today's question:
Everyone has an age that they see themselves in their mind's eye, regardless of what they're seeing in the mirror. At what age do you usually think of yourself as still being?
My answer: I always think of myself as still being 27. Maybe it's because it's my favorite number, or maybe because it's the age I was when a major life event happened that changed my perception of myself -- kind of a "before" and "after" mark. So yeah, it's 27 for me. (Which is really kind of weird, now that I think of it, because my oldest daughter is 27!)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Reader Comments (12)
Haha! That's pretty funny and I've done the same thing only said I was younger. I didn't do it on purpose at all. Someone asked me my age and I said 37 without missing a beat. Later my daughter said why did you say you were 37? You're 39!
For reasons unknown, 37 is my favorite age, I'd go back there in a heart beat.
Silly! I never think of how old you are anyway. You're just my friend, and that's all that matters.
I'd kind of like to think that I'll continue to think about myself as my age right now, 30, or somewhere around there. It seems like the last three to four years is when I've actually become "grown up," or at least as grown up as I plan on ever being.
I find myself feeling as though I were in my early forties (Good Lord, that was twenty-five years ago!) when I was Jerry's wife, not his widow, when some of my kids lived with me, not just two dogs and two cats, when I was real, not just a bit player.
Whew, Lisa! I thought this story was going to go into you lying to Jim that you were older so he'd think you were *legal*. ;)
I usually think of myself as about 35. But I don't worry too much about the number. I usually feel much younger, unless I'm fighting a cold or whatever it is that's been keeping me down the past few days. Ugh!
Thanks, Kate! And I never think of the fact that you're just a few years older than my daughter. Friends are friends, regardless of the years, I think.
Pam: That's too funny. I *was* underage when Jim and I got together. Hmmm... if he ever makes me REALLY mad, maybe I could report him -- nearly 30 years later!
I am SO relieved! I've done this before. Just like Tammy, I inadvertently told someone I was younger than I was without even thinking about it. And I also tend to have trouble remembering how long we've been married. People will say, "How long have you been married?" and then they probably wonder what's wrong with me as I sit there, non-responsive, doing the math in my head.
I see myself as 28. And I am often shocked when I realize that others no longer see me as 28. I just wish I knew at 28 what I know now at, uh, 42? Is that right? I'll have to do the math and get back with you.
23. I am still 23. In my mind, anyway.
I always have to subtract. That is when you know you are OLD ENOUGH to stop having birthdays!
My soul tells me I'm a twenty-something. My body tends to differ. Sigh.
Say, before you forget -- tell me where you get that illusive industrial-strength-for-resistant-gray hair color! I need some . . . :-)
I still see myself as age 50 although I was 50 five years ago. I couldn't wait to be 55 so I could retire from my job but not from the life. Now that I am retired I feel renewed, a sense of starting over or a second 55 years!
In my head, I am eternally 25.
When you start looking back more than forward, you know you've hit some sort of memory stand still.
All of my greatest times seem to revolve around that age and whenever I go memory visiting, I always seem to wind up at that year.
(-:
In my mind I'm still in my early 30's when I had energy, stamina, long hair, curves instead of rolls and couldn't picture myself 50 something!
I hit the big 5.0. this year . . . certainly don't really FEEL like I could possibly be THAT old, but I can't figure out how old I really feel. My brain feels much older, it's losing it one brain cell at a time . . . I still love to have fun and hang out with all the young ones - they keep me going.
Kristin