Uncharted waters
We did it. Jim and I made it through our first time decorating the Christmas tree as empty-nesters. Meaning, we did it alone. Just the two of us.
After 28 years of tree-trimming being a loud, festive, family event, this year there were no little ones hanging eight ornaments in a space meant for three. No kiddos closing their eyes and holding out their hands awaiting presentation of the annual new ornament from Mom. No more jokes about the carrot, the pickle, the Russian Santa. No more surly teens swearing under their breath at one another as I ask if they could please just get along so we can get the tree done without someone crying. And no more girls home from college for the holiday and savoring the family time they'd missed while away.
This year, the ornaments are evenly spaced, there was no surliness, and there was no swearing. There were, though, a few tears. From me.
This is a huge milestone and not one I hoped to reach so soon. In fact, I hoped to never reach it at all. I hoped that even once my girls were grown and gone, there would be tree-trimming parties. That I'd have my daughters, their partners, my grandchildren running all about as Christmas music played and they clamored for this ornament or that. All the while we'd be sharing memories of holidays and tree-trimmings past.
But it wasn't to be. Not even close.
Maybe next year things will be different.
Or maybe next year will be the same. But at least having been through it this year, it won't feel so darn empty and strange.
Holiday question of the day:
What is your favorite ornament on your Christmas tree?
Monday, December 6, 2010
Reader Comments (21)
Ornaments, the ones my children made while in school. The grandchildren enjoy the stories behind them of what their dads made in school while we hang them up. I can feel for you on empty nest. The first time a holiday without anyone was a very tearful day for me too. It will get better. Tucker and Ben have brought back the child like happiness of holidays to us.
Your tree is very beautiful by the way.
Gorgeous tree!! I have the opposite going on, I usually put the tree up by myself, but the past couple of years I've had family help... It's very nice to have help.
My tree is covered in very special ornaments. I have some from my grandparents that are over 50 years old, I have ornaments my mom bought for me each year, but I do have two very special ones... One is a tiny hand painted wooden angel and a small red velvet ball that date back before my birth that I adore.
It's just not the same is it. I'm still not used to it and I still hope every Christmas that they will both come down and spend the day helping. I don't think I could pick a favorite ornament. Most of them have a story that is special!
Every year, as an empty nester, I shed a few of those tears while decorating, so I am right there with you, my friend. Knowing that we raised some pretty awesome humans, though, is a bittersweet blessing. My heart goes out to you and Jim.
Favorite ornament on the tree? This little bear in a swing. It's the cutest thing ever, and I have no idea where it came from. Neither does Joan. I think that's why we love it so much, because somehow it made a home on our tree and without our knowledge.
Terri
I don't think I have "A" favorite. I have "some" favorites. This year my middle girl, the nurse, came over just to decorate the tree and make cookies with me and then she was off. It was very sweet and I hope she'll always do that.
This is our first Christmas as empty nesters too. We thought we were going to be putting up the tree on our own this year but for the first time ever (and because we are empty nesters!) we purchased a fake tree a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. Because we had the tree in the garage our daughter who came for for a day and a half for Thanksgiving asked if we could put it up while she was here.
So on Thanksgiving eve the Christmas music was turned on and the tree went up. So, that ended up being our first this year!
Our ornament collection goes back 35 years and I can remember the history of most of them. Although not old, a couple of years ago my mother and I sat together on the deck of our mountain cabin during the summer and we made small tied quilts as Christmas ornaments to give to all of the my grands. My mother has made hundreds of tied quilts for her family so the tiny tied quilts on my tree have very special meaning to me. My mother is now unable to make quilts and we are losing her mind to dementia.
And a GORGEOUS tree it is! We're much in the same boat, only my cute hubby carried up all the HUGE boxes from the basement storage - and left me to the decorating! I may just finish by NEXT Christmas.
Love the festive panties as well - snicker snicker ;)
Kristin
Sigh. It is a change. This year we're back to the party for the first time in many.
When I was a teen on tree trimming day living in an old farmhouse with my family, we were in the middle of our annual tinsling. Mom handed out gramma's ancient trinkets like they were gold and we dutifully pretended we were still all 7 years old.
My sister pulled a string of garland out and found a string of delicate reindeer all clinging to the strand. She handed it to Mom who didn't recognize it. They got two of them hung on the tree before Dad looked and said. "These are dead mice".
With a scream they bot tossed the thing away like it was on fire. The little creatures were mouse skeletons that had probably died eating the garland to nest in over the summer.
Can you imagine handing those things down for generations to your kids!
JOHN: Funniest comment ever! I will never look at tinsel the same again!!
Used to go out tree shopping with my mother every Saturday following Thanksgiving...wish I was still around to do that...but I guess for now I just need to be thankful that I get to spend time with my family on Christmas around their beautiful tree!
ryan
Poker Training
luckily my kids live close enough that we have several Christmas tree parties. Besides doing my "trees" (I have 3) we go to two sets of great grandparents and trim their trees. Seems like we just get them up and it's time to take them down again. I don't have a favorite ornament either. I do have a box full of "memory ornaments" that we love to hang together and tell the memories behind them. we also love the tradition of swearing in the tree. When the tree is all decorated we stand around it and shout obscenities--strange I know, but it makes us laugh.
KAYE: What an original, gut-busting (I'm sure) tradition! I love it!
You do the annual ornament also!?! That was/is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. My mom thought she could quit it when I graduated from college- but I wouldn't allow it. Then she said when I was married. But I don't think I'm going to allow it. I think now I'll push it till when I have kids.
She also makes it correspond to something we did throughout the year. I freaking love them!
ps. Pretty tree!!
My favorite ornament(s) are wooden ones I painted from a kit my mom bought way back when I was a surly teenager drug along on family camping trips throughout the Colorado mountains. Makes me smile every year when I get them out.
That is such a beautiful tree! I love the ribbon around it all.
My favorite ornament is the angel on top amde by my daughter in kindergarten. It has yellow yarn hair and blue eyes just like she did and a pink foil body with paper doilies for wings. Precious ever since and packed away well so it has lasted these 28 years and is now admired by her children.
Oh, Lisa, I SO relate to decorating the tree without the kids there. We've been doing it for nearly 10 years! Makes me try to be IN and enjoy each moment we do have with them and also with my Dear Husband. Love the Christmas decorations on your briefs. Dropped by Empty Nester for Meet Me On Monday and saw that you got an award-Congrats! blessings on your day.
Hubby and I have been doing the tree alone for quite a few years, and we have come to enjoy it. We put on the Christmas music, chill some champagne and decorate away.
We make it a point to buy an ornament whenever we travel somewhere new. But my favorite ornament has to be the pewter heart that my son gave me that is engraved, "I love you." Just because it was so darn out of character!
Ah honey now I'm a little teary.
It gets harder and harder every year to put up a tree. Doing it all alone is really a bummer. I can have my daughter's family come help, (well maybe when Max is older...right now he just pulls everything off). Your tree looks amazing, by the way. You did a great job...tears and all.
Last year I bought an expensive (for me) tree that has every imaginable rust, white, brown (of all things) balls of various sizes, snowflakes, everything!!! The whole cotton-pickin' thing is my favorite, even if I have to get it out of the shed by myself, fix the center post in place and pull the middle of it up and hook it in place at the top, and plug in the string of a gazillion little white lights in to the wall standing on my head, it looks so fine and fancy, it delights me.
Your tree is the most beautiful I've ever seen!