Mom 2.0: Better than Mom 1.0
I've always considered it a parent's duty to create a better life for their children than the one they had themselves, to improve the family's lot with each generation. Regardless of how grand -- or not -- a person's life may be, there's always room for improvement, and their kids should be the beneficiaries of such.
With that in mind, I've worked hard to ensure my daughters are more content, better educated, more financially secure than I was at their age, along with myriad other upgrades in comparision to how things were for me. Now that they're all adults, I'm seeing the fruits of my labor in all of them, in numerous ways.
But as Megan is the only one of my daughters to become a mother so far, in her I see that not only is she better educated and more financially secure than I was in my mid-20s, she is a much better mom than I was at her age.
Here are nine reasons why I say that:
1. Megan has tricks and techniques for discipline, character building, motor-skill encouraging and more that I never dreamed of when my kids were Bubby's age. Most come by way of her early childhood education training and her work as a pre-K teacher, but that simply means there was a two-fold payoff from my "better educated" goal for my girls.
2. Megan is better at spacing her children than I was. I wouldn't give anything in the world for the way my babies came in rapid succession, as things really do (and did) happen for a reason. But allowing Bubby some time as an only child, with his own room and gads of attention before Baby No. 2 comes along, seems a much better plan than my non-plan nearly 30 years ago.
3. Megan swims. And hikes. And runs. And engages Bubby in outdoorsy pursuits that keep him healthy and happy. I'm a rather sedate, indoorsy kind of mom. I think outdoorsy is better.
4. Megan looks forward to Bubby playing football. I'm just thankful I never had boys and had to endure years of watching my child get knocked around on the field. I honestly don't know that I could have -- or would have -- done it. I may have ended up not allowing a son to play football ... and that son likely would have hated me for that.
5. Megan is more fearless than I ever was. She allows Bubby to find his own footing on play structures, lets him figure out how to get up and down stairs on his own at an early age, lives in the desert where rattlesnakes and scorpions roam, lets Bubby ride Roxy like a horse until Roxy gently decides enough is enough. I'm overprotective to a fault. (Brianna, Andrea, Megan: You never heard me admit that!)
6. Megan let Bubby take the lead in his potty training, making it a non-issue -- and completely accomplished in less than a week. I, on the other hand, scarred Brianna for life, I'm sure, by adherence to the idiotic ideas in a book called "Toilet Training In A Day." A day which was marked by tears, not success.
7. Megan chose godparents according to what was best for Bubby. I (along with Jim) chose godparents with the intent of honoring those chosen.
8. Megan tries new recipes for dinner every night in hopes of widening her family's culinary horizon. Well, not every night, she says, but nearly every night ... and far more often than this mother who tended to go with the tried and true far too often.
9. Last but not least, Megan taught Bubby from a very early age how to make good choices -- something I'm still trying to teach my daughters.
Megan has only one child at this point, whereas when I was her age, I had three. So the real test of my assertion that she's a better mom than I will come when babies No. 2 and No. 3 come along.
Do I question whether she'll pass? Not at all.
I have no doubt whatsoever Megan will pass with flying colors -- colors I likely would never have even dreamt of.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Reader Comments (16)
What a great post! I would cut yourself a little slack however as the "potty training in a day" and swimming lessons at 6 months were considered cutting edge when we were having babies!
Awesome post! Just loved it!
i think formal early childhood education is such a great resource for parents. Many people think being a good parent and having smooth family relations should come naturally, but it doesn't. It obviously was one thing that helped Megan be such a great mom. Perhaps that education should be mandatory for all parents!
AG: Thank you! Your oldest is about the same age as mine. Now I'm wondering if you, too, tried the Toilet Training In A Day. :o)
PAM: Thanks, I appreciate it!
KATE: I couldn't agree more! More people are injured by poor parenting than in automobile accidents yet you need a license to drive but not to parent.
Sounds like Megan is a Supermom, but I know not all 2.0 Moms are like Megan, and unfortunately so. I was around when you were raising the girls, Lisa, and in my opinion, there was no better Mom than you. You were awesome, and provided them with much love and attention, AND good food. I had some of that food myself, so I know. I think Lisa Mom 1.0 did just fine, and I'm sure many would agree with me!
Love ya's!
Terri
I so hope you daughter reads your blog. This is such a beautiful tribute to the wonderful Mother that you have helped her become. I too am of the notion that every generation should improve on the last and am striving to make that happen in my household. I really want to know what this potty training in a day is all about - 4th time I have seen it mentioned this week!
TERRI: You're too nice. Now I need to go deflate my head a tad before continuing.
<I'm back; deflation accomplished.>
MELISSA: My daughter does read it. She's probably chuckling to herself right now. Potty Training In A Day? You don't wanna know. Actually, I think there's a revised version out now and they've made it either THREE days or maybe a week?? Thank you for stopping by! I appreciate it!
I think you five girls probably set the bar too high for my second boy, ten years behind my first, and I remember worrying that David would be in high school before he was potty trained. You girls must have been "self-trained" because, with so many of you, over so few years, I can't remember doing anything to potty-train you, it just happened.
I am truly glad you (and, I hope, your sisters) are ALL aiming at making life better for the next generation. I don't think childhood could even be worse than it was for YOU kids. I'm still sorry, but look how well you all turned out and we can't change the past, only go "from this day forward."
I loved your post! I remember using that "Toilet Training In A Day" book on my son. Back in my mom's and my day of raising kids, it seemed that you had to have your child potty trained by age 2....which I know now is ridiculous. And because I love football, I let my son play football because he loved it too and wanted to be a football star when he grew up. It was very painful sometimes to watch but by the time he was a junior in high school his mind and body told him that football was not going to be his thing and instead played golf, which I love too and thanked God for it. I think all parents want a better life for their kids than they had.
It seems making and teaching our children & grandchildren to make good choices is a life long endeavor.
You have no idea what it means for a daughter to hear her mother tell her she's a good mom. Bubby's such a lucky little guy.
That was so wonderful and I think it's something we all want for our kids...to become the best they can be and if they do it better than we do...bravo!!!
I'm a grandma and I still wish my mother would tell me I'm a good mom!! I make a point of letting my daughter know that she's a good mom everytime I see her!
ANNETTE: Well, your mother doesn't know what she's missing by not pointing out to you that you're a fantastic mother ... and a wonderful grandma, a stupendous friend and likely the most incredible seamstress I have ever met!
Isn't that such a good feeling? My oldest son and his wife are such good parents - I am amazed. And I am so delighted that he has turned out to be such a wonderful father to both his two stepchildren and his own two children. That's an exciting realization! Good for you.
What a wonderful post! I hope your daughter reads it :-) It's a like a long-distance hug.