What a difference a year makes
When Bubby was born, certain aspects of our family life were a given. One given was that my husband and I had decent jobs, making a decent salary, and we were able to fly to visit our grandson as often as our accrued vacation hours allowed. But then the winds of change rolled in. Six months after Bubby was born, my job was outsourced and I've yet to find employment. And my husband's job is set for outsourcing next month, with no new job on the horizon. Needless to say, money is tight.
But it's just money.* The more important changes in the past year have involved life and death. Lower on the scale of importance - but still heart-wrenching - was the death of our 12-year-old family dog, Moses. When Bubby was born, I envisioned Moses, a black lab/collie mix, being a major attraction for Bubby when visiting our home, with the two of them enjoying endless games of fetch. It wasn't to be, though, as Moses had an appointment in heaven and won't be around to befriend Bubby.
High on the scale of importance, though, is the loss of my mother-in-law, aka Granny, who, although still living, is "just not there" mentally or physically, thanks to several strokes. When Bubby was born, Granny was thrilled about her newest great-grandson. When she first met him, she kind of freaked out Bubby's mommy by continually stating, "This is MY baby," and refusing to let others hold the baby. Megan knew it was a joke, but she did worry about the way Granny clutched the newborn. It was just love, not lunacy. But Megan no longer needs to worry about that. Granny will never be the Granny we all once knew. She recognizes few family members, is unable to maintain a conversation, cannot walk without assistance, wears a diaper. And she will never cuddle Bubby again.
It breaks my heart that Bubby will never get to know Granny, never get to hear her too-oft-repeated stories about her son (Bubby's grandpa). He'll never get to listen to her sing hymns in a voice reminiscent of a wanna-be opera diva. He'll never be one of the lucky kiddos who knew they had a rapt audience in Granny, no matter how long-winded and rambling the child's story may be.
It sucks. It's sad. It's the worst change we've faced in the past year. And it's one that's not as easily remedied as finding new employment or picking out a new dog.
*It's easy to be blase in a blog, but the reality is that it's scaring the hell out of me!
Monday, July 27, 2009 
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Reader Comments (2)
Your comments about your Bubby not getting to know his Great Grandma touched me. My granddaughter, Makaila, is now 7 yrs old. She is very fortunate to have both sets of Great Grandparents still alive. One set is now in Las Vegas, NV and the other in Springfield, IL. My parents are the ones in Las Vegas. When my parents lived in the same city we live, they babysat Makaila from age 3 months until she was 5 yrs old. My daughter was very fortunate to have this when she went back to work after giving birth to Makaila. My mother especially doted on Makaila. They brought her up listening to Hawaiian music and teaching her about our customs. I am of Hawaiian, Chinese and Portugese heritage. To this day my mother refers to her as her "favorite" great grandchild....she has six. My parents moved away 2 yrs ago but my granddaughter still has memories of them. Whenever my mother speaks to Makaila on the phone, she usually ends the phone call in tears as she misses her so much. Makaila started taking Hula Lessons from a very dear friend of mine about a year ago. She has picked it up very fast. I think listening to Hawaiian music when she was growing up has helped her appreciate that kind of music. And of course she got some of that talent from me! She made her hula dancing debut this past weekend at a luau. She was unbelievably wonderful!! I know that now days with everyone being transient, it is difficult for children to know their great grandparents and even grandparents. I grew up knowing my grandparents and those memories will last forever.
Makaila is so lucky. I think it's doubly important to have time with extended family when there's such a rich cultural legacy to know about and continue. I'd love to see pictures of her hula dancing debut! Thanks for posting!